Your husband has stopped caring about you, and what affects you.
He has changed so much that you can barely recognize him as the sweet, caring man that swept you off your feet!
Somehow, quite regrettably, it seems the honeymoon phase is over!
Now, the most painful aspect is that this is probably the time that you need him most to be a little bit more supportive!
WHERE DID MY MAN GO?
Let’s face it, you are his wife, and you miss those days before marriage when he used to pick you up, fix you an occasional hot plate, massaged your feet (maybe). Did you wash clothes together? Maybe after your marriage he used to draw you water to bath, helped with cleaning up the room, or laying the bed!
I’m pretty sure he chased you to the kitchen, and helped with the dishes as you both laughed and enjoyed that blast of incredible companionship, and a love that was made in heaven!
He was your best friend, hanging out with you, filling you up with so much joy that sometimes it felt you would just burst with the sheer weight of happiness he gave you!
Now, however, he has become a pale shadow of the man you used to know, right?
Nowadays he flings his shirts anywhere, scatters his shoes for you to pick up, prefers to hang out with his friends and rarely spends quality time with you.
It seems he now wants to be the master who is to be served obediently…and he is slowly turning into a god in the house!
Did he use to hold you close at nights, and seemed to never have enough of you? These days he expects you to initiate love-making all the time, and when he is satisfied he turns over and purrs like a cat, barely touching you…leaving you so frustrated and alone!
He sits in the hall and watches football on the television.
He is always glued to his laptop, or he is out drinking with his friends.
Wow, let’s throw in another angle: now you have children, his own children, but he behaves as if you gave birth to the children yourself!
He expects you to do everything: washing, cooking, baby-sitting, bed-warmer! He barely helps with the children, and whilst you’re busy tending to them he barks out to you that he wants his food.
Meanwhile, the food is in the kitchen, and he could easily serve himself!
He sits at one place in the hall when you’re sweeping, instead of helping you move the furniture, and then he raises his feet for you to sweep the space underneath.
He has virtually become a Lord now, expecting your worship and praises everyday!
Your husband has become a total stranger!
Now you are resentful!
Sometimes you feel like giving him some massive Azumah Nelson blows!
You feel like screaming at him till his head roll off, huh?
And the worst feeling of all: after you’ve basically killed yourself the whole day, and he hadn’t lifted a single finger to help, he now wants some action at night!
He waits in the bedroom like some huffing and puffing predator, watching you take a shower, and watching you undress, and you can see from that silly expression on his horny face that he wants some bed-tumble!
So, you’re probably aching all over, and just wanting to sleep, and then you feel his hands on you, and his breath down your back, and that hard erection poking your behind, persistently craving you to open your thighs!
These are the times you probably want to scream at him, or give him a hefty uppercut that will tear his head off his shoulders!
You’re so resentful, and you tell yourself ‘this is not love, no! This is not what love is supposed to be!’
You are getting so fed up, feeling that you have been short-changed somewhere.
Some women even conclude at this point that there is no joy in marriage!
They begin saying marriage is akin to slavery!
And, to make matters worse, the wolves are gathering!
The wolves are primarily your male friends, or a particular male friend, who always showers praises on you for being such an ideal woman!
They tell you what a great woman you are, and how lucky your husband is to have an incredible person like you.
Maybe they go as far as telling you how they wish you are theirs.
They appear to be so caring, and when you compare your husband to them, you indeed wish your husband could be that caring…again!
And then there are the female wolves, those friends who are encouraging you to flex your muscles and show your husband that you’re not a slave! They are telling you that they ‘won’t accept such nonsense if they had been in your place!’
Now you’re so confused!
You feel other men appreciate you where your husband doesn’t.
Nowadays you rarely smile at him. You’re tired all the time!
You find more happiness with that other man who is giving you a little bit of attention, and maybe you’ve even started thinking you might be falling in love again with that man!
WHAT TO DO
There is just one thing to remember: your man has changed, but HE IS NOT LOST!
The man you fell in love with is still in there somewhere, and it is time for you to drag him out!
Don’t give up now, or ever!
You’re not the only woman in this situation, no! A lot of women are facing the same thing.
The good news is that you have weapons to bring out that loving man again.
Don’t give him the cold shoulder as your friends are suggesting! Stop the frowns, and the cold wars! Stop giving him those cheeky answers and being ‘so hard’ on him that being together is not fun anymore!
It is time to bring back that warm cozy feeling of love you used to enjoy.
The approach is COMMUNICATION through DIALOGUE!
Remember, he chose and married you because he knows he can live with you.
You’re his friend.
God witnessed and approved your union!
So talk to your husband!
Call him at dawn, or late night, when the whole atmosphere is cool and it seems only the two of you are in the world.
Talk to him gently, from your heart!
Be passionate and tell him how much you love him, how much you love being his wife.
And how much you wish he could be just a little bit more caring and supportive.
God has made it possible for every man to listen to his wife.
Don’t say he’s headstrong and would not listen.
You know how a woman can speak to her husband, and you have been equipped to do so.
After all, you’re a woman, and you’re strong!
So speak to your man!
Tell him what you feel in your heart.
Show him how tired and weak you get from shouldering everything, and let him see how much you miss him, and how much you wish to be loved, like he used to love you!
But remember, don’t forget to PRAY for your marriage!
Whatever is happening now, take it up to GOD, your Heavenly Father, in prayer.
Seek God’s direction and guidance.
Remember how God hardened and softened the heart of Pharaoh during Moses’ time…and remember that same God is still alive and operating today.
He would soften your husband’s heart to receive your words.
Go on, pray to God…and speak to your husband!
And never ever give up until your man, the one you fell in love with, appears again.
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Praying and communication is key to a happy relationship
Educative & lovely piece
Wht caught my attention most is the aspect of praying for the marriage.
God bless you.
Great piece. Thanks
Enlightening as usual.
You must consider becoming a counselor!.
That piece is really educative!.
A timely piece. Sharp as an arrow!
Lovely and educational write up. God Bless U.
Good information… Educational