So you’re dating, and suddenly this issue comes up:
Sex me if you love me!
Sleep with me to prove that you’re really mine!
Have you heard these words before?
You probably have, yeah, somewhere along the line when you thought you were in love!
See, it used to be one of the most devastating lines for boys!
However, the game has changed so much that even ladies are now uttering these words.
Amazing, simply amazing!
Recently, I heard a funny story. A lady friend told me this:
She has a friend, a Christian lady, who is about to marry a Christian man.
Apparently, the lady is convinced that since marriage is a foregone conclusion, the man should sleep with her!
You might be wondering what her reason was!
Well, simply put, she wanted to know how it would be like to make love to her fiance!
She wanted to know if she would enjoy it; whether he was a good lover, before marrying him!
She wanted to know what she was getting into…
And if she doesn’t enjoy it, then she will not marry him!
The man, a Christian,was adamant in his stance that he wasn’t going to compromise his Christian values for such a crass reason.
Wow!
Just imagine that, coming from a woman, a CHRISTIAN woman!
SEX ON THE TABLE
Alright, so finally a man/woman wants to marry you.
You have waited on the Lord for so long, and finally you have found somebody who is going to be your life partner.
You probably love each other hard, and you’re so excited for that wedding day to arrive.
And then, out of the blue, one of you wants to have sex!
He wants you to sleep with him to prove that you love him…
Or she wants you to sleep with her, to show that you’re a ‘real man’…
What are you supposed to do, as a Christian?
SOCIETAL ANGLES
SEX has become cheap!
All forms of sexual depravities are now seen as normal.
Boys meet and compare notes on the current drugs to use to last longer in bed!
Girls meet and talk about sexual styles to blow a man’s mind!
The bottom line is that anyone who is not doing ‘sex stuff’ is seen as a freak!
Homosexuality and lesbianism are on the increase, and governments in Third World countries are being forced to legalize these abnormal norms!
Anal sex is now the ‘in-thing’ for couples!
My friend’s thirteen-year-old son has hardcore porn on his phone, and his father thinks it is ‘sex education’ so it is okay!
Goodness me!
GETTING WORSE
And now hold on to your reigns, hold on tightly for this:
In June of 2016, a man in Canada was brought to court for 13 counts of sexually assaulting his step-daughters.
Now, there was one count of BESTIALITY.
Bestiality is the term used for SEX WITH ANIMALS, by the way.
Now, here’s the horrendous story:
This man put peanut butter on the sexual organs of his step-daughters, and then let his dog lick it off!
Absolutely sickening, isn’t it!
The man was convicted 16 years for assaulting his step-daughters.
However, this sick man appealed the bestiality count, and the case was heard by the Canadian Supreme Court!
The Supreme Court, by a majority count of 7-1, ruled that Bestiality is legal as long as there is no penetration!
INTERPRETATION
So, this is what it means:
You can have any kind of sex with an animal, as long as there is no penetration!
In other words, sex with animals is now legal in Canada!
Not that alone…
We have heard of Priests marrying priests, and women marrying women in the church!
Are you familiar with the term First Lady?
Of course you are!
The wife of a Prime Minister or President of a country is the First Lady.
Well, the country of Luxembourg doesn’t have a First Lady.
It has a First Gentleman, because the President is Gay, and he is married to a man!
So yes, sex, sex, sex, sex…
All around us there is free sex! It has become as cheap as drinking water!
There is even a worst form of sexual immorality in the system now.
It is known as FWB: Friends With Benefits.
It is so simple to be in a FWB relationship:
The man and woman in the FWB just agree to meet and have sex without any strings attached!
They are not dating.
There is a freedom to be in a relationship with other partners.
They are not accountable to each other.
There is no commitment, no jealousy, no respect.
There is only a SEXUAL relationship between them.
They meet, they do it, and that’s it!
Just to satisfy each other because they love the way they do it to each other!
Wow! Can you believe that? Sex reduced to the base level of animals!
Even animals sometimes show a modicum of self-restraint, self-respect and selective sex!
So here you are, a young Christian adult, dating the partner of your dreams…
And she/he wants sex before marriage!
Well, sex is cheap anyway, and everyone is doing it, so should you give in?
BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE
Now check this out:
A section of society is now raising an argument that since teenagers are having sex:
- We should stop talking about abstinence from sex
- We should now encourage teens to take precautions to prevent diseases and unwanted pregnancies
And this is turning into a national debate!
Well, there is only one answer to that:
It doesn’t matter what society thinks, and it doesn’t matter who is doing it!
What matters is WHAT GOD THINKS ABOUT IT!
1 Corinthians 6:18-19:
[18] Keep on running from sexual immorality. Any other sin that a person commits is outside the body. But the person who sins sexually sins against his own body.
[19] Know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God. You do not belong to yourselves!
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4:
[3] For it is God’s will that you must be sanctified: You must abstain from sexual immorality.
[4] Each of you MUST know how to control his own body in a holy and honourable way!
1 Corinthians 5:9-11:
[9] I wrote to you in my letter to stop associating with people who are sexually immoral
[10] I did not mean the people of this world…because in that case you would have to leave this world
[11] But I meant STOP ASSOCIATING with any so-called brother if he is sexually immoral…you must even stop eating with someone like that!
A CHRISTIAN’S CHECK POINTS
God has a different set of values than what Society is spewing out here nowadays.
There are no confusions, no bargaining, no barter with God’s plans concerning your morality!
There are no reasons whatsoever, no ambiguities, no maybes, no considerations…
From Corinthians we see these set of values from God:
- Run from Fornication.
- Fornication is against your body.
- God’s Holy Spirit lives in your body.
- Your body does not belong to you.
- Your Body belongs to God!
In Thessalonians God is as straight as an arrow:
- He expects you to be HOLY
- You must stay away from FORNICATION
- Control your sexual cravings
- Preserve your body as an edifice of honour for God!
Again from Corinthians:
- Don’t mingle immoral people
- Immoral doesn’t refer to Unbelievers alone
- Immoral people refers to brothers/sisters in the church who are fornicating
- Don’t condone them in any way!
YOUR STANCE
There is your answer now.
If you’re dating now, and he/she wants sex, be emphatic:
NO!!
It is not about what others are doing!
Neither is it about ‘if I don’t do it he’ll go for someone and I’ll lose him.’
DON’T focus on what YOU want!
It all boils down to doing what is right in the sight of God!
FOUNDATION
The Foundation of your marriage should be laid right.
Aside from the fear of unwanted pregnancies and the rife incidents of sexually-transmitted diseases, waiting lays a firm foundation for your marriage.
People who sleep around because they are dating eventually regret it.
The fact that he/she has agreed to marry you doesn’t mean that is the way God has purposed it.
Until the rings are exchanged, and you’re pronounced man and wife, anything can happen in that time space if God hasn’t purported it to be so.
In the end you may end up sleeping with multiple people that come into your life with promises to marry you.
If he/she loves you, then they’ll WAIT for God to ‘make all things beautiful’ in His own time.
I’ve heard some boys raise this argument:
“Why can’t you do it? After all you’re not a virgin!”
Ouch! That one must hurt, but hey, it doesn’t hold any water!
In a former lifestyle you might have been sexually prolific, but now you know Christ!
Now you know God’s values!
You’ve now been BORN AGAIN, and you have attained a level of ‘second virginity’ in Christ.
So do the right thing.
Wait till your marriage, and you’ll know that your union is based on a strong foundation of love…and God’s approval.
If the hand of God is in your marriage, because you were faithful to HIM, then your marriage will be successful.
It will be filled with happiness and the kind of blessings only God can shower.
So, whatever you do, don’t sex him/her for love!
Keep on saying NO, because you’re doing God’s will.
Maybe he might even leave you, but remember, God will bring you a better option.
This is based on God’s words:
Matthew 6:6
…And your Father, who sees what is done in the dark, will reward you!
Yes, abstain from premarital sex with all your strength and resolve, and as long as you’re a good Christian, our Lord God will set you up in grace, honour and divine blessings!
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