Agya Asare rushed into the room with Kofi Gyan closely behind.
Agya was wearing only a pair of huge shorts whilst Kofi Gyan was wearing black trousers, blue shirt and a nice tie.
“Goodness me, Shalom!” Agya Asare cried with horror. “What happened?”
“What did you do Reuben, Shalom?” Kofi Gyan shot in.
“Reuben is a big fool!” Shalom said from the corner of the room, fidgeting like a child who had been caught in a bad act. “He was calling his ancestral gods on my head because he wanted me to leave Adobea. I told him I cannot leave Adobea so he should stop calling the gods to kill me. Look, I even offered to give him my wife or girlfriend if it turns out I have one somewhere! But he still wouldn’t listen! He was calling gods of kelewele, agushi, pepre, even etwe na kote on my head!”
Agya Asare and Kofi Gyan exchanged horrified gazes.
“And what did you do?” Agya Asare asked.
“I jammed him with that drawer thing gbubraaa!” Shalom said meaningfully. “Shalawele! Next time! He fell down and said guuuuuuuu!”
“Goodness me, Shalom!” Agya Asare cried. “You could have killed him!”
“Oh, he’s not dead, just dazed!” Shalom said sulkily. “I used the flat side and not a pointed tip or edge. He hit his nose on the floor that’s why he’s bleeding but he should be okay. I balanced the force I was expending, the mass of the drawer and the density of his skull, so I just hit him with enough force to shut him up!”
“Oh, fasoor ho with your force-force!” Agya said irritably. “Kofi, help me get him up. Maybe we have to send him to the hospital.”
“Leave him alone!” Shalom said indignantly. “He’s alright, I tell you!”
Agya Asare bent low to help Reuben up but the man on the floor chose that exact moment to raise his upper body from the floor. His rising head hammered into the bending nose of Agya Asare with a sickening crunch!
“Ajeeeeeeeiiiiiii!” Agya screamed and held his nose. “He has killed me!”
He was covering his nose tenderly with his left hand as he promptly bunched up the knuckles on his right hand and gave Reuben a sharp hard knock on top of his head.
“Guuuuuuuu!” Reuben screamed with pain, bounded to his feet with wild eyes and fled from the room with his hands massaging his head.
“Shalawele!” Shalom screamed gleefully and began to prance around as peals of laughter ripped through him. “Your knock was not measured, Agya! You wicked, evil man!”
Agya Asare paid no heed to him as he left the room with his hand still plastered across his nose. Kofi Gyan patted Shalom on the back with a broad grin on his face.
“So, you’re in love with my sister?” he asked.
A huge goofy smile blasted across Shalom’s face.
“I love her more than Calima loves seeing the sunshine!” he said expansively. “I love her more than you love your wife’s elephant boodankadunks! Look, I love her more than shinkafa from Hajia Jaga’s kitchen on a hot July afternoon!”
Kofi Gyan laughed and nodded.
“I believe you, my friend!” he said gently. “And I wouldn’t want any other man for her than a fine gentleman like yourself!”
“Shalawele!” Shalom screamed and thrust his waist forward about three times, imitating a man’s copulative movements. “Are you sure, Kofi Gyan? Or is it because I perfected your drawings for you so you want to keep me here to polish up your silly drawings?”
“No, no, Shalom,” he said at length. “We’ve all noticed the change in Adobea. She became so bitter and lost the verve for life after Reuben broke her heart. We were all worried about her, but now she’s so happy and filled with the zest for life. You’re good for her, Shalom. Welcome to the family.”
They shook hands warmly.
“I can’t wait to marry her, you know,” Shalom said happily. “I can’t wait to put my peeweewee inside her hole of tatafu! Look, herh, even saying it my thing is hard. Look, look!”
He was pointing to the bulge in the cloth around his waist.
“Stop that, Shalom,” Kofi Gyan said as the smile disappeared from his face. “Come on, let’s go take some breakfast. I’m on my way to Accra but let’s have breakfast before I go.”
“Where’s Adobea?” Shalom asked suddenly. “Is she in the kitchen?”
“She left for the market, Shalom,” Kofi replied. “She’ll be back soon. Come and have breakfast with me.”
They ate a huge breakfast of millet porridge, lots of toasted brown bread and egg salad. Agya Asare joined them a while later with a swollen nose that made Shalom burst into fits of laughter immediately.
“What ails you now?” Agya Asare asked as he sat down and drew a bowl of porridge towards him.
“Have you looked at your swollen nose in the mirror?” Shalom asked with goofy laughter.
“And what about my swollen nose?” Agya Asare asked coldly.
“The way it is swollen, it looks like the tip of an erect penis!” Shalom said and Kofi Gyan guffawed with such force that he began to cough badly.
Agya Asare carefully sat back and looked at Shalom balefully.
“So, now my nose looks like a penis, right?”
“No, not a penis,” Shalom said with a giggle. “Not the whole penis. I said the tip of an erect penis. That’s how your nose looks like!”
“Stop it, Shalom, please stop it!” Kofi said and got to his feet. Still laughing, he walked quickly towards his room.
“You’re a fool, Shalom,” Agya Asare said but he was smiling now. “A big fool.”
They continued to eat and presently Kofi came out with his coat over one arm and briefcase in the other hand.
“Off to Accra,” he said brightly. “See you all tomorrow morning!”
“Safe journey, son,” Agya Asare said as he raised his head.
Kofi Gyan took one look at his father’s swollen nose and he burst into raucous laughter again.
“You’re a fool, Kofi Gyan!” Agya Asare shouted after his son as he raced towards the front door. “A big fool, Kofi! A very big fool!”
After breakfast Shalom carried the dirty dishes to the kitchen and washed them, and then stacked them neatly. He went back to the room and began to fidget because he felt so lonely and wanted to be with Adobea.
She returned shortly not long afterwards and he went with her to the kitchen as she prepared food for the day. He informed her of Reuben’s visit and what had happened.
She looked at him with love and tenderness.
“There’s no need for you to hit any man over me, Shalom,” she whispered lovingly. “No number of curses would ever stop me from loving you. My heart is yours forever, my love!”
That wonderful abashed look came into his eyes again.
“And I love you too, Adobea!” he said sweetly. “And I’m glad your heart is mine forever! And your lips, and your breasts!”
She smiled and turned her attention to the soup.
“Everything, Shalom, everything!”
“And your boodankadunks too! Your arms, your legs, your thighs!”
“They all belong to you, my love!”
“Your vajay too!”
“It is yours forever, Shalom, my love!”
“Even your armpits and the hairs inside your nose!”
She giggled and made no reply.
“Yes, even your stinking anus too!” he said with a goofy laugh. “Wo truumu nyinaa ye me dea!”
And this time she burst into laughter and moved away from the oven.
“Shalom, aaaaaahba!” she said as she shook her head. “Boi!”
They had lunch later in the day and then Adobea took Shalom to the riverside to witness the fishermen on the lake with their fishing canoes. It was an afternoon of fun and laughter and the discovery of sheer bliss for them.
Their love for each other was a fierce bond that held them tight in the folds of bliss and made them appreciate their moments together. They simply could not have enough of each other.
Finally, as the night began to steal across the sky, they left the riverside and chartered a taxi for the return trip to the house. They were about two minutes from the house when Adobea’s phone rang.
It was Agya Asare, and she wanted to know when she and Shalom were getting back home.
“We’re a minute away, Paapa,” Adobea said.
“Oh, okay,” her father said. “Waiting for you then, my love.”
The taxi stopped in front of the house and Adobea’s heart began to pound with sudden dread! There were two sleek police sedans parked in front of the house behind a huge, black, sleek, luxurious Escalade!
“What’s going on here?” she whispered and reached out blindly to hold Shalom’s hand.
“Nothing is going on here except that I love you a million times a million times, Adobea!” Shalom said as they entered the yard.
There were some senior police officers around including Commander Derbie Gyeshie and Josh Aboagye, the Member of Parliament!
Agya Asare, Maame Fosuaa and Grace were on the porch with three people who were expensively-dressed and were obviously wealthy.
There was an elderly woman and a man who bore an uncanny resemblance to Shalom!
And there was a young, beautiful half-caste woman too with them. She was wearing a stunning grey designer outfit that might have cost the moon. Her shoes, dress and jewellery combined might be a small fortune. Her cold eyes ran over Adobea with distaste as she stood up and came towards Shalom.
“Oh, Jack, my love!” she said in the sweetest, most cultured voice Adobea had ever heard, and a great ball of ice slowly seemed to slip into Adobea’s belly.
Agya Asare stood up and came towards his daughter with a shattered expression.
“His name is Jack Larbi, my dear daughter,” he said in an unsteady voice. “His profile on the television brought his family back finally. This is his mother, Mrs. Beatrice Larbi, his elder brother, Samuel Larbi…and his…his fiancee…Lucille!”
And there, right there, at that very moment in time…Adobea felt like dying!
The Reset, Weekend Story, The Reset, Weekend Story, The Reset, Weekend Story, The Reset, Weekend Story, The Reset, Weekend Story, The Reset, Weekend Story, The Reset, Weekend Story,
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