Getting to the lake, Lucy was wowed by the view. Green grass was spread along the bank of the lake, with the water moving in slow rhythmic waves making the atmosphere peaceful. Couples were cuddled up along the lake with the cool breeze from the lake blowing on their skin.

Lucy immediately fell in love with the place. She searched along the lake for Michel and saw him seated at the extreme end of the lake. His feet were inside the lake and he was throwing stones into the lake.

“HI,” she greeted him when she got to him, “Can I sit here?” she asked, indicating the space beside him.

 

“Sure, why not, it’s a free world,” Michel replied, adjusting for her to sit.

“First of all, I want to apologize for how I reacted yesterday. Alexa told me why you haven’t been able to pick my calls.”

“It okay, apology accepted.”

“Just like that?” Lucy asked surprised. She was expecting him to at least shout at her or say something hurtful just like the two times they’ve had an altercation, but his response really threw her off guard.

“What, are you surprised?”

“Shocked more like.”

“I guess you were expecting me to scold you or say some harsh words to you like the other times?”

“Something like that. I deserve that actually. I didn’t expect you to let me off like that.”

“Well, it not all the time you return fire with fire, sometimes you just have to let go,” Michel said with a weak smile.

 

“I’m short of words, I don’t even know what to say again, just that I’m truly sorry.”

“It all good. It’s a thing of the past now.”

“Are you still going to stand on your word or you have changed your mind?”

“On what?” Michel asked surprised cos he didn’t know what she was driving at.

“The fact that you don’t want to be friends with me anymore.”

“She told you that too?”

“Yeah she did, she said you were really mad.”

“I was actually,” Michel said looking at her, “What do you think though?”

“About what?” Lucy asked, not understanding his question.

“You wanna be friends with me?”

“If you will have me, yes,” Lucy replied, picking at her fingers and dropped her face because at that moment she felt shy and couldn’t look at his face. And she was shocked when the realization hit her that she felt shy in front of a man for the first time in three years.

 

“Are you shy?” Michel asked laughing and he realised she was indeed shy, and he confessed that she looked innocent at that moment. Gone was that stone-cold woman he’s had an altercation with twice, and she had been replaced with a little lost girl. She looked so beautiful at the moment and he thought to himself that, whatever happened to her must have affected her a lot and he knew he had to help her if he wanted anything to do with her.

“So you making fun of me now?”

She couldn’t raise her head up because she couldn’t trust herself looking at him, he had a hold on her and she fought the urge to wrap her hands around him.

“No, I’m not. I just saying, who would have thought the mighty Lucy could be shy around a guy, I will be damned.”

“Make fun of me all you want, I won’t blame you.”

“Alright, calm down. I’m just trying to make the atmosphere calm, guess it isn’t working?”

“It is actually, never had a healthy convo with any guy in a while. This is the best I’ve had so far.” Lucy replied, raising her head up and found him looking tenderly at her and her heart skipped a beat.

 

“What is really wrong with me? Why does he have so much hold on me like this?”

“What really happened to you though?” Michel asked, looking into her eyes and he felt her tense up when he asked the question.

“I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it,” Lucy replied looking and holding back the tears that are threatening to escape from her eyes.

“First of, if you want to be friends with me, you have to trust me and allow me to help you and secondly you are never ready when it’s something that hurts.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I can’t really tell, but I just want to help. I feel your pain, you not doing a good job hiding it. One can always notice when you talk.”

“Thanks for the concern, you are the first stranger that has actually noticed and chose to help.”

“You welcome, and from what I’ve noticed, it involves a guy and your heart right?”

“Why do you think so?” Lucy asked surprised. It was as if he’s looking through her and can see her heart.

 

“For starters, you’ve been coming hard at me since the first time we met and you just told me now that you’ve not had a healthy discussion with any guy in a while, so I kind of put the pieces together.”

“Well, you are right, it was a really painful experience.”

A painful smile crossed her face. Lucy was silent for a while and all the memories started flooding back and she shut her eyes when two tears dropped from her eyes.

Michel saw how sad she was and the tears in her eyes, and he felt her pain and was angry at the guy that could make her so vulnerable. He felt like wrapping his arms around her but he knew she needed to go through that moment. Hopefully, it will be the beginning of her redemption.

“You know, it happened three years ago and I still haven’t been able to live past it,” Lucy said cutting into his trail of thoughts. “I thought he was the best but he turned out to be the worst…”

 

Silence rained for a long while as they both battled with their thoughts.

Lucy sighed and placed her hands on her face.

“You can leave it if you are not ready to talk about it yet,” Michel said, feeling concerned for her.

“No, I think it time to finally talk about it. I’ve not discussed it with anyone since. Maybe if I do now, it will lighten the weight in my heart. And who knows, maybe you can help me get past it since Alexa keeps saying you can.”

“I don’t know why she kept insinuating that but that’s Alexa for you.”

 

“Well, like I said, it happened three years ago and it involved a guy that I loved and dedicated my all to and I thought loved me too. I met him in my second year at the university. He was in his third year and he was the most handsome guy on campus. Every girl wanted to be his and I happened to catch his attention. I can remember vividly the first time he walked up to me, I practically froze and the world stopped moving and it was like we were the only ones on earth,” she related as a sad smile crossed her face. She wiped the tears that dropped from her eyes.” I remember seeing him on many occasions and wishing he was mine but having a feeling that I couldn’t have him because of the many girls around him. There is nowhere you go on campus that he wasn’t the talk on the lips of every girl. He was every girl’s dream man. Seeing him in front of me was magical. I could see the hate and jealousy in the eyes of other girls around and truthfully, I felt afraid. It was like he wasn’t in my league.

 

He was cute, smart, intelligent and rich, not like I cared about his money because my parents are also rich but there was this aura that he possessed that every girl wanted to have. Long story short, he asked me out but I played hardball for a while but accepted after multiple trials. I became the envy of every girl on campus because I had what they’ve all be fighting for with no stress. Many girls threw themselves at him but he chose me. It was amazing at first, he was sweet, caring, loving and I felt he truly loved me, only I was wrong. I fought many girls that came at me, saying he belonged to them. I was threatened on multiple occasions and was almost beaten at some point but I held on because I loved him. Things started changing when he asked me for sex and I declined. I would have gladly given in to him but I still had this doubt inside me that he wasn’t mine yet. I always had this feeling that he was just with me for the fun of it and I wasn’t ready to be played with. I had declined a lot of proposals from other guys before him and people have actually labelled me ‘the hard to get girl,’ but fell easily for him because I felt I was in love. But at the same time, I felt I needed to trust him more before giving myself to him.

 

I was a virgin and I always told myself that I would give myself to the one who deserved it. He was reasonable with me when I told him my fears and he promised me he was all mine. I told him to give me more time and he agreed. He was so sweet and he never rushed me. I started hearing rumours that he was a playboy and that I was one of his preys but I never believed any of them. Whenever I approached him with the accusations, he always told me to ignore them that people were just trying to separate us. In his words, he will say ‘they all want to have what you have now, they want to separate us and they will do everything and anything to succeed, you just have to ignore them and fight for us,’ and my feeble heart always fell for those words. Because of those words from him, I felt he had earned my trust and I needed to reciprocate because he had never rushed me, he always respected my choice and told me to wait until I was ready. I decided to give in to him and I chose his special day, indirectly. I unconsciously decided to do that because I didn’t want to lose him. I knew any girl will give herself to him with no strings attached but I wanted to have him all to myself. I got to his place in the early morning of his birthday, all happy and picturing the fun we were going to have and me losing my virginity.

 

It was frightening and exhilarating. I got to his place and his door was open which wasn’t normal and I heard voices in his bedroom. I didn’t want to think of the worst, so I decided to go in and confirm first, but on getting to the door, what I heard broke me to pieces, he… he said…. he…” and Lucy couldn’t find the right words to say and she broke down crying.

Michel couldn’t hold it anymore, so he pulled her towards him and allowed her to cry her eyes out. He knew it was the breaking point and it was going to get better from there. He allowed her to take her time.

After what seemed like forever, Lucy raised her head from his chest and realized she had wet his t-shirt.

“Sorry for wetting you, I was caught up in the moment,” she apologized.

“It’s okay. I just felt you needed that,” Michel replied smiling and Lucy felt butterflies in her stomach. His smile was always contagious and always had a positive effect on her.

“Thanks. I actually needed that. Didn’t think I would be able to discuss it with anyone ever but I feel a little bit better now,” she said, wiping tears off her face with the handkerchief Michel had given her.

 

“Well, if you feel you are not ready to continue, you can take your time and continue next time. I will still be available to listen.”

“No, I want to. I feel like if I don’t say it now, I might not be able to say it ever again. I just want to get this off my chest and be free again.”

“Alright, if you say so.”

“So, when I got to his bedroom door and was able to open it, I heard a female voice and I recognized it to be my best friend’s voice, she was laughing at what he was saying.

“So, you mean to tell me that she denied you sex on the pretence that she is a virgin?” my friend asked him.

‘Apparently, and to think I was naive enough to let her, saying I loved her and would give her time until she was ready.’ he replied laughing.

“At that moment I wanted to go in but something held me back and I decided to wait and listen to them.”

 

‘What are you even doing with her? You have lots of girl at your beck and call that you can have any time but you choose to be with a JJC like her,’ my friend continued.

‘Hey be careful, that’s my girl you talking about,’ he said laughing sarcastically. ‘Truth is, she’s just one of my preys, I heard she’s been labelled the hard to get girl, so I decided to have a go at her. Yes, she was hard to get but I always get what I want and once I get what I want from her which is her body, I will let go of her and unto the next girl.’

‘Hahaha, you are a devil, you know? my friend replied laughing,’ but a good one, she always feels like she’s on top of the world, like she’s special and untouchable, good to finally see someone bring her down to earth. When do you plan to do that though?’

‘Today is my birthday so it’s only logical for her to make it special for me by giving herself to me.’

‘Wow, that would be great, I would like to witness it and I don’t mind filming you guys.’

‘You know I didn’t think of that before but I like it, you’re a darling.’

 

“And at that, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided to leave. I was already feeling weak and dizzy so I collapsed on my way out and everything became dark. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a hospital and I saw the two of them standing above me with guilt on their faces. When they saw I had come around, they started apologizing but I asked them to leave my presence and I didn’t ever want to see them again. I spent days in the hospital because I hit my head on the centre table while trying to run out. They kept sending me texts apologizing but I wouldn’t have it and I had to block them. I was able to go through it all with the help of my childhood friend. I felt dumb, dirty and used. I felt like a fool because I thought what we had was divine and pure. I thought I had finally found the one for me, but the revelation from him broke everything in me. I was close to depression but my friend helped me through it. I had to transfer to another university because I knew seeing him around was going to break me and I felt stupid because I knew he still had an effect on me.”

 

She was quiet for a while and Michel knew she had finally been relieved but the look in her eyes said there was more.

” So what did you do? ” he asked her.

“Pardon?” she asked not understanding his question.

“You said he still had an effect on you, right?”

“Yes.”

“So what did you do to get over him? I’m sure you are now, right?”

“Ofcos am over him now. After the heartbreak and changing schools, I told myself I was done with men cos I haven’t always been lucky in that department. I decided I needed to take care of myself better and I kind of built a wall around my heart against the male specie.”

“And then you decided to hurt every guy you meet at every given opportunity?”

“Yeah, I felt that was the only way to not get hurt by them again. Attack before being attacked became my mantra and can you blame me?”

 

“Maybe not, but how has that worked out for you so far?”

“Pretty much well, until you came into the picture.”

“How do you mean?”

“Remember the first time we met?”

“How can I ever forget that. It will always be in my memory, why?”

“Thing is, that day I went to buy sniper insecticide from the supermarket. I wanted to end it all because I was tired of everything. Whenever I thought I had it all in control, something happens and I lose it again. My friend tried her best but I just couldn’t move past it. “

“So what changed?” Michel asked surprised that she had thought of attempting suicide. She looked dejected at that moment and he knew she regretted making that decision, and he felt pity for her and angry at the ex that had turned her into that.

“You changed everything. I don’t know why but I just felt like I needed to know you more, so I followed you to your supermarket.”

“You followed me to my supermarket?” he asked shocked.

 

“Yes I did, and I watched you speak with your security and when you went in, I spoke to him too and realized you were an amazing person. I was angry at myself for spoiling your day, which was the first time I had such feelings though and I decided to look for you and apologize.”

“You could have waited for me to come out and then apologize.”

“I thought about that too but I felt the tension was still high and decided to wait another day.”

“What happened to the sniper, did you go back to it after you apologized?”

“Truth is I don’t even remember where I kept it. It must be somewhere inside my car because I remembered throwing it inside when I entered my car.”

“Thank God I was able to help get your mind off suicide.”

“I’m more grateful. I couldn’t get my mind off you, so I always thought of how to get in touch with you so I didn’t even remember any sniper again.”

“And why was that?”

 

“Why was what?”

“Couldn’t you take your mind off me?” Michel asked smiling and rolling his eyes at her, liking the fact that she was smiling genuinely and shy at the same time. He knew he had an effect on her and he felt he had the chance to break the wall she had built around her heart.

” I don’t know and truthfully I don’t like it,” Lucy replied, suddenly feeling shy with his eyes all over her. She didn’t like the way she felt around him. She felt vulnerable and it was like deja vu all over again. Only this time, it was pure and she couldn’t describe it. It felt real and clean, unlike the other time that was lustful.

“Why is that, do you feel I might be your ex someday?”

“Maybe, but…”

“But what?” he asked her, cutting her from completing her sentence and raised her head to look at him.

“I don’t know, it crazy and true at the same time. I’m afraid and happy at the same time. I don’t know how to control it this time around and I’m not liking it.” Lucy replied dropping her face from his hand and looking down. She couldn’t trust herself because she felt like kissing him at that very moment.

 

“Why don’t you let it play itself out. Moreover, I haven’t said anything yet.”

“You don’t have to. We all know what every guy wants from a girl.”

“First off, because one guy broke your heart doesn’t mean all guys are the same and no good. Same way you’ve gone through heartbreak from a guy, other guys too have had their own share from girls. Secondly, you’ve been the one following me around and hurting me with every opportunity you get. I should be the one running away from you.”

Lucy knew he was right and she didn’t have the right to question his motive. Moreover, he hasn’t said anything to her. She was the one jumping into conclusions.

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know, and I feel your pain. I know you’ve gone through a lot but you can’t let it control you. You might think you’ve gotten over it but hurting every guy isn’t the right way to go about it because indirectly, it is still the hurt that is controlling you. And there is no justification for hurting other guys, you are just hurting yourself in the process too and you will lose a whole lot of opportunities because of that. You have to forgive him and let go and at the same time forgive yourself too, because you are still mad at yourself for giving yourself to him and allowing him to use you for play. You should at least be proud of yourself for not falling into his trap.”

 

” But I almost did. if I didn’t hear those words from them, I would have given in to him.”

Lucy almost snapped but she had to restrain herself. She knew he was right because she was angry and mad at herself for everything that happened.

“Maybe you almost did, but you didn’t. Maybe it was divine help you got but you were able to resist him for that long before you got the revelation, you should be proud of that.”

“I guess you right about that. I’ve not been happy with myself for finally giving in to him and I haven’t thought of it from your angle too, but knowing that now, I feel better.”

“Good, you have to free yourself from the shackles you’ve put yourself in and live life better. There is more to life than allowing the past to control you and you are missing a lot.”

“You right, thanks for everything though. I really feel better and I appreciate you for it. Now, I know why Alexa kept saying you can help me, I owe her a big one.”

“You welcome, and she’s a clown by the way.”

“No, why would you say that? She’s amazing.”

 

“You just met her, so you would say that, but I know her better and I know she’s a pain in the ass but she’s incredible no doubt about that.”

“Now you are talking.”

They were silent for a while looking at the lake.

 “What happens to us now?” Lucy asked and faced him, feeling awkward due to the silence.

“Well, until you see me in a different view and not like every other guy out there that just wants something from you, I will be what you want me to be.”

“That sounds awkward but I can live with that. I just want you to be my friend and help me get better. Whatever will happen next I don’t know yet but I feel I can handle it.”

“Whatever you say, I gat you,” Michel replied her looking tenderly into her eyes and knew there was hope for him. He knew she’s stolen something from him and he couldn’t let her go but he was ready to wait for her to be ok and ready for him.

 

“Well it’s getting late, we need to go now. We can’t possibly sleep here,” he finally said and stood up. He extended his hands to her and helped her up. The force with which he pulled her up brought her right into his arms and they were so close that they could hear their hearts breathing and feel their heartbeat. Michel had to force himself from kissing her.

Lucy felt so lost in the moment when she was in his arms. She felt so secure and safe there and she wished it never ends. She thought he was going to kiss her but was sad when he pulled away from her and put his hands in his hair and she was glad she had an effect on him too. She couldn’t help but smile at that, she was afraid at first when she wondered if he felt anything for her but with what she saw, she knew there was hope for her, because all of a sudden, she realized she needed him so much.

“I didn’t know that time has been far spent like that,” she said to him to lighten the tension around them. “I guess the saying that ‘you never realize how far time has been spent when you’re in a happy place’ is true after all.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Michel replied, pulling himself together “We need to move.”

 

He made to move but Lucy held his hands and interlocked their fingers. He tried to remove his hand but decided against it so as not to hurt her feelings. He felt cool about it though and they walked hand in hand back to the garden.

“You will be the end of me, Lucy,” he said to himself and smiled.

Lucy felt him tense when she interlocked their hands and thought he was going to remove his hand from hers but was glad when he didn’t, she felt happy and knew she was going to be ok. “You got me, Michel! You got me big time but you can’t have me now. I need to be ready and reciprocate you in the best possible way.” She said to herself and saw him smile that amazing smile of his that dimpled his cheeks and she melted inside.