THE LOVE SHOP
It is normal to feel insecure from time to time as a human being.
But when it becomes more of a constant occurrence, then it becomes a problem.
Chronic insecurities in a relationship breed jealousies, possessiveness, nagging etc that work against a relationship.
Most relationships fall to the grass because of chronic insecurities.
It is suffocating, unpleasant and if care is not taken it can erode the confidence of the healthy partner in the relationship.
Most people who are insecure have no or little control over how they behave. It’s really a problem that must be tackled with lots of love, care and understanding.
One fact remains though, and that is, people who exhibit insecurities are hardcore faithfuls. They won’t cheat on you in any way and they want to be enough for you.
Causes of Insecurities
Insecurities are mostly exhibited by:
1. People from Broken homes
2. Exposure to infidelity by one parent, a close family member, friends etc
3. People raised in homes with high sibling competition resulting from favouritism from parents.
4. People with Low self-esteem
5. Past experience of betrayed trust/love.
6. People who were abused at one stage or the other of their lives.
7.People in long-distance relationships, etc.
How to handle insecurities in relationships?
1. Find out what triggers insecurities and do something about it if you can.
2. Give assurances. You need to assure your insecure partner of your love constantly by words and actions. Give him/her a ‘pet name’ like Angel, Rosebud, My Sunshine, Heartbeat, and use it.
3. Make him/her a priority. Your words and actions should always affirm that he/she is a priority.
4. Spend a lot of time together and maintain a healthy sexual routine ( if married).
5. Help build his/her self-esteem.
6. Communicate your plans, activities etc that will involve coming into contact with people of the opposite sex especially.
7. Don’t criticize him/ her in public.
8. Apologize when wrong.
9. Avoid flirting with others and keep exes at a distance.
10. Convince him/her to get help if everything you do does not help.
Relationships are about priorities, compromises and sacrifices.
Remember not to place your friends above your Partner ever.
This becomes a major insecurity issue for them.
If you truly love him/her, you would do your best to help them through their insecurities. It will not be easy but it’s not impossible.
Love will surely conquer all.
Love simply means ‘putting the needs of the other above yours’. It is patient, kind, long-suffering…