Humping Styles is paralyzing…
AARON ANSAH-AGYEMAN
PELE-DONA: UNPLAY REASONS
HUMPING STYLES
HUMP 3
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The Author
I couldn’t tell Angela that I wasn’t dead, and I couldn’t tell her that I just couldn’t move any part of my body!
I watched helplessly as she quickly flew into her clothes, picked up her shoes and bag, and fled from the room, leaving me lying like a sack of Ayigbe gari on the bed!
And I remained like that, immobile, my eyes staring, every other part of me dead!
Angela left the door ajar in her panicked flight!
Yeah, she just left me like that, and the unfairness of it all hit me just around that time, you know…
Because in that immobile stupor-like condition I found myself in, I took stock and realized that Angela had had all the positives! I had lost a lot of money on her that night, starting from what I had bribed her companion with, what she had charged for the night, the food and drinks…and the cost of the suite.
Plus, she had reached the peak, and I hadn’t!
Crown all that with the fact that she had been the one changing the humping styles from normal, to crazy, to downright madness!
She should have heard the ‘kein’ sound in her back!
She should be lying here half dead and not me!
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Lord, she had pushed my legs up, with my back against the headboard of the bed, making my upper and lower body form a crude ‘V’ shape whilst she was suspended above me and hitting me like I was a girl, and she were a boy!
Witch!
And then a new horror hit me…would I recover, or was I going to die?
I had followed her bush meat, the hole of tatafu, the jade gate, the citadel, the bush of Adam, and now here I was…dying!
I was so sad and wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t even fall, and I couldn’t even blink! My eyes remained fixed like that, staring around the room holooooor!
I didn’t know how long I stayed in that immobile death-like state, but it seemed like ten years to me! Worst thing was, I didn’t feel any pain. I would have welcomed neck cramps, back pains, even a huge scorpion springing out from under the bed and stinging my hanging hand…but this dead feeling was horrifying to me!
No pain, no feeling, no sensation!
Goodness me! What was happening to me?
And then, thankfully, I heard a tentative knock on the door, and a woman’s voice sounded outside in the corridor.
“Kofi, are you in here?” she enquired.
I stared eagerly at the door, and a moment later a young lady came in carefully, saw my naked form sprawled on the bed, and then she gave a sharp scream, turned around and dashed out of the room.
Hey, come back, you hypocrite…don’t pretend like you haven’t seen a naked man before! Kofi is probably your screw-mate, not even your boyfriend! Come back here and help me!
I screamed in my head, of course, because I could not even move my eyes, let alone open my lips. I continued to lie there like a mummified Egyptian Pharaoh, wanting so badly to cry and scream, but unable to perform any of those simple actions.
And, presently, a furious-looking elderly man entered the room. His huge belly bulged over the white towel tied around his middle, and behind him was the young girl who had fled the room earlier, the girl who had been looking for Kofi.
The man’s fleshy chest was covered with a sea of matted grey hair, although there was no hair on his huge head. There were splotches of grey, however, in his beard and moustache.
So this was Kofi…and oh, now it made sense.
Kofi was after all a sugar daddy.
He came toward the bed and stood glaring down at me.
“Sir, this is unacceptable!” he said furiously. “You just can’t lie down naked on a bed and leave the door open, no matter how perverted you are! Please cover yourself and lock up, otherwise, I’ll report you to the management!”
Yippee!!! Do that, please! If you like go for a foghorn or a hailer or the mightiest microphone you can find and yell to the world that the Pele-Dona is lying here naked with his door open, you dirty old man!!
My mind screamed, but of course, it was just in my head. Every single part of me, except my eyes, was paralyzed, so my words were just shouted inside my own head.
He continued to glare down at me.
“You’re infuriating me, sir!” he said coldly.
“Kofi, leave him, please,” the girl said, her voice scared. “Let’s go!”
“But what he’s doing is not right, honey!” Kofi said acidly.
“It’s okay, please, let’s leave!” the girl said.
The man snorted and turned away. He paused at the door.
“I’m waiting for precisely two minutes outside this door, you pervert!” he said acidly. “If you don’t get up and lock up I’m reporting you!”
Two minutes? Two minutes you said, you frog? Sugar Papa Kofi, two minutes is too fucking long, Sugar Daddy Kofi! You should report me right now! In fact, report me right now…your belly like River Nile panties!
He turned and left the room.
And so I went back to waiting, hoping he had put in a complaint immediately.
It took more than two minutes actually, although I could not tell how long it really took. Eventually, the telephone on the low side table gave out a sweet, lovely melody.
I was convinced Kofi had lodged a complaint, and management was calling.
Come up here you morons! How am I supposed to get to the telephone if I can’t even move my eyelids? Who do you take me for…Professor Hindu? Get off your lazy butts and come here right now! I’m lying on the bed paralyzed by some stupid humping style and I am dying!
So my stare was on the door, fixed and direct, when two men eventually came in. One was the slim, dapper front-desk employee who had checked us in, and the other was an elderly man in a belted morning-gown.
They came warily toward me, both with cold expressions. The man in the gown looked around with his pudgy stunt of a nose wriggling with distaste, but the younger man was looking at me with a slight scowl.
“Good evening, sir,” the man in the gown said. “We’ve had several complaints about you lying here naked with your door open. This is against the policies of the hotel, and so we are going to shut the door, and please ensure that it is shut, otherwise, we would be forced to turn you out. Thank you.”
And he turned toward the door.
If I could, I would have kicked that man!
Instead, I could only scream in my head with impotent fury:
You fool, don’t go, don’t lock the door! Can’t you see I’m lying here immobile, not moving a single muscle? Can’t you see there’s something wrong with me, huh? Look at how my rod of adventure is so shiny! Can’t you see Angela has used me and rendered me a paralytic corpse? Don’t you dare go out and lock the door! Call an ambulance, you frog! Call an ambulance for me, please, oh please I beg you, Mr. Hotel man, please, please, pleeeeeeease!!
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