Married Cheaters…

THE WRITER

I am Akoto Adjei Alexander, a Christian. A product of Abetifi Presbyterian Senior High School, Abetifi-Kwahu. I am in my late 20’s and the last born of the boys my parent brought to earth. I am fiction/script writer who loves to write about the nature and the realities of life. I do a little of Graphics Design, I do MC’ing of events somethings, a Motivational Speaker and a Relationship Talk Expert.

ALEXANDER AKOTO ADJEI

MARRIED CHEATERS

EPISODE 1

With the power given to me as an ordained man of God, I hereby pronounce you “Husband and Wife”! You may now kiss your Bride was the words the Reverend Minister who officiated the marriage between my wife and I used to set the church auditorium ablaze with humour and noise. I was surprised everyone present was just waiting for that very moment, I folded the veil hiding the pretty face of my wife Queenstar, I knew my wife was a beauty goddess whose name bore resemblance to her personality but on this faithful day she was looking extremely elegant and gorgeously beautiful than I have ever known her to be.

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She was a total description of beauty, ‘ahoufe paa nie’, coca cola shape will be an understatement to describe her curvy body. In fact, Takai bottle papabi was the figure standing in front of me, her front and backside were standing erected like a soldier man at a morning parade and that alone was already making me crazy. For a second, I asked myself how I managed to win the heart of Queenstar so easily as I knew very well that thousands of men were chasing after her. As I pulled the veil up to expose her beautiful face, I took some steps back, my bestman came to me to whisper something into my ears and after that I and all my bridal team took a walk to where my mother-in-law was seated. I signalled her to come with me and of which she came in a perplexed way, I told her to go and take a look at my bride if she was truly her daughter who was standing in front of me by the altar.

She went and as she checked she nodded her head to me to approve to me that it was her daughter standing there as she joined my bridal team and myself again. I went to my mum, called her over and also requested her to go and check on my supposed wife if truly she was my Queenstar, she went and also came back with a positive remark, everyone in the auditorium by now had started murmuring to the person next to him or her, the paparazzi’s had started taking pictures of my bridal team, my mother, mother-in-law and myself to make their own storylines up. The two mothers standing in front of me were confused and wanted to know what was really going on but they were not getting answers from anyone in my team and myself.

I stole a glance at Queenstar on the altar and I saw the Reverend Minister who was officiating the marriage and some of the invited pastors present and her entire bridal team looking at us puzzled. Am to believe my wife by now had gotten an emergency flow, I mean to say “Menstrual Malfunction (M2)”  flowing in her pants by now. My wife tried joining us at where we were standing but her maid of honour stopped her from moving a step, my team guys and I started to walk towards the exit of the church auditorium only to run back to the altar again and ask the officiating Reverend Minister to repeat what he had said earlier on. He looked at me in a confused way but complied and repeated himself again.

“With the powers given to me as an anointed and ordained man of God, I hereby pronounce you “Husband and Wife”, you may now kiss your Bride.

I took a step forward, held my wife and tilted her to the left side a little and planted a deep typical Ghana man kiss on the lips of my wife for close to  three minutes non stop. The Reverend Minister cleared his throat through the microphone to get our attention before I separated my lips from that of my wife’s lips. As the Reverend Minister wanted to speak my wife signalled him to pause with her hand in the air only for her to pull me into her arms and also return to my lips a hard-core village kiss.

You can’t imagine how the atmosphere in the auditorium was like, the cacophonical comments and resounding silly response we got from our guest was just crazy. It’s true they say show me your friend and I will show you your character. My wife displayed her romantic prowess to the admiration of all people present, the two bridal teams had to come in to separate my wife and I before we let go of each other. The whistling and noise that came from the over one thousand personalities in the auditorium was overwhelming that it took the Reverend Minister over five minutes before he could bring sanity and decorum back to the church auditorium.

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I turned to take a look at my Abetifi Presbyterian Secondary School mates and Old Students Association members only to receive another silly comments from some of them. Some of the comments I can remember sounded like “WO W) KROM”, “WOB3 BIE GYA “, “WAT) ADEI PA”, “KISS NO K3K3”, “AAAKYE SAAA”, “TONGA B3SU ANADWO YI”, “ATOPA B3 KASA”, “3B3F3 WO ANADWO YI” and so many crazy utterances.

When calm was restored the Reverend Minister notified us to join him at his office so we sign the Marriage Certificate and in our absence there was this powerful praises and offertory taken on our behalf. As we were signing the certificate, my wife punched me for the drama I and my bridal team acted earlier on at the auditorium, I told her it was my April fool’s day package for her since it was 1st April on that day and it wasn’t even 12noon yet.

She smiled and punched me again in a jovial manner and added to it by telling me that she almost urinated in her pants with the action I took. Everyone in the office of the Reverend Minister busted out with a loud laughter as to what Queenstar said. When we were done with the certificate signing, my best man was given the opportunity to introduce us to the whole church as Husband and Wife for the very first time and also threw a caution to everyone present that with the exception of the best man and maid of honour no one should try to clean or wipe the faces of the couples or even throw powder, perfume or any substance on us.

My best man and childhood friend took the microphone and started pouring out a well rehearsed grammatical sentence out to the hearing of everyone, the very catchy part of his words which I remember till now was when he said:

“I WAS THERE WHEN THEY FELL IN LOVE AND AM HERE AND THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED, I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO CALL THEM BY THIS NAME, I AM SO HAPPY, EXCITED, PRIVILEGED AND HONOURED TO BE THE FIRST PERSON TO ADDRESS THEM HERE AND NOW AS THE NEWEST, FRESHEST and LATEST COUPLE IN TOWN. HIS EXCELLENCY THE AMBASSADOR OF THE UNITED STATES TO GHANA, ROYAL CHIEFS, REVEREND MINISTER’S invited, 

THE BOARD of DIRECTORS to BANK of GHANA, THE RESPECTIVE FAMILY MEMBERS of the NEW COUPLE, FRIENDS, FELLOW CHURCH MEMBERS, LADIES and GENTLEMEN, ALL PROTOCOLS OBSERVED, I INVITE INTO OUR MIDST MR and MRS OWUSU-AGYEI.

We walked back to the auditorium with cheers and applauds from everyone “DONDOOO DONDOOO, Y3MA MO AWARE SOR OOOO”, “MO TRER3 NKWA OOO” were the chants that filled the place. The wedding was over and it was time for picture taking with the invited people, family members, friends, colleagues and well wishers. There was this particular lady giving me some flirting look and trying to position her boobs anytime our eyes met, she had managed to catch my attention for a while. After taking the pictures,  the MC announced to everyone that the reception followed shortly at the Banquet hall of the State House, you need not to be told that our backgrounds had a sound financial backing as everything we shared or used that day was classy and customized.

My wife and I sat in our horse carriage that took us to the Banquet Hall with the escort of Police personnel right from the church to the place. My beautiful wife took the opportunity to ask me the very reason why I and my groom’s men did what we did at the church again because she still didn’t understand us? I smiled and told her it was my April fool’s present for her since our wedding date was 1st April and that I wanted to do something memorable that day. She kept smiling to herself as she placed her head on my shoulder and gave me a romantic  punch and told me that she nearly followed us to the entrance of the church, if not for the timely intervention of her maid of honour.

She said she couldn’t take the heat any longer, she wanted to ask why we were doing such a thing at that very moment. I smiled and whispered to her how much I loved her and how happy I was with her accepting to be my wife. I know I was very handsome and a well chased after guy in town that ladies were dying to have me even if for a one night stand, but my wife Queenstar was also one of the prettiest lady on the planet earth. I was wondering how I managed to win her heart so easily even though I knew I was not the only guy chasing after her. We got to the Banquet Hall to meet a lot of people already waiting for us patiently. The bridal team members were first to be introduced into the hall with different songs chosen by them and after that I and my sweetheart were ushered into the hall in a grand style.

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We did a little dance before taking our seat and the whole event unfolded itself as planned. Later, I was given the microphone to tell the whole gathering as to how I met my bride and how I managed to win her heart for her to accept to spend the rest of her life with me. As I took the microphone, I smiled  and watched the face of my wife as she gave a shy smile and whispered to me to say everything without leaving a word out or else she will cut in to tell everyone how it happened, I turned to watch the face of my best man but he also turned his face away from mine knowing how it all started. I cleared my throat and started but before, I acknowledged the old saying that its true “EVERYONE HAS A PLACE HE or SHE WILL MEET HIS or HER PARTNER “,

I saw Queenstar for the very first time at the morgue/mortuary when one of my university mates passed away and his corpse was being taken to the family house for his burial service. She was in the company of her friends by then, I waved at her but she didn’t even look at me even though her eyes met mine. Her friends rather returned my wave and I told my best man that for the very first time I was finally in love and that I had met my missing rib, my Eve was standing close by. My best man laughed and said to me “see what the Adonko bitters has done to you?”

You are drunk and you are talking nonsense, I ignored him and was planned on how to approach my new found love, I went back to my car and did a top up of the Adonko bitters into my system just to boast my morale level so i could speak my heart out to my Miss Right without feeling shy. I dropped some mint into my mouth after gulping the Adonko bitters so I don’t blow her fuss when speaking with her. As I got closer to where my lady stood with her friends, I saw the other ladies checking on themselves to see if they were presentable enough to meet me………

Where did you meet your partner if I may ask?

Who made the first approach?

Were you rude to him/her?

How long did it take before you gave your name and number out?

Do you regret anything about your partner?

Let the interaction flow as we will be learning a lot in this story!!!!!

To be continued……………………………………………………………….# Yeb3toaso

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