THE LOVE SHOP
DO THEY MAKE A DIFERENCE?
A LOVE SHOP FEATURE
Attitudes: Do They Make a Difference?
Attitude is a feeling or opinion about something or someone, or a way of behaviour towards others and things around you.
You can feel disowned, grouchy, happy, lazy, hateful, mean, hurt or ugly. All these are attitudes.
Attitudes come in two forms: positive and negative.
But you will all agree with me that the negative attitude are dominant in life episodes and this can be very stressful, even fatal.
Let me ask you this:
Which of the following do you think has the biggest effect on your happiness?
- your conditions (rich or poor)
- your DNA (traits inherited from parents)
- and your attitude (the way you react to people or things around you)
It is true that all the three factors mentioned above affect one’s happiness but ATTITUDE often trumps over conditions and DNA when it comes to happiness. Attitude has the biggest effect on your happiness.
This is good because unlike your conditions or your DNA which you have little or no control over, you can control your attitude.
Attitude governs the way you perceive the world and how the world perceives you.
All normal human beings have the ability to choose how we relate to things or people around us.
We can choose self-encouragement and self-motivation, or we can choose self-defeat and self-pity. It is a power we all have.
We all encounter hard times, hurt feelings, heartache, physical and emotional pain at one point or the other. The key is to realize that it is not what happens to you that matters but how you react to it or how you let it affect you that matters.
The human brain is like a computer that can be programmed.
When you feed it with good software, you get good results. When you feed it with chaff, you only get the same chaff out of it. You choose whether the software you install on it works or not.
The interchange or conversation that go on within your inner self is the software that programs your attitude.
It determines how you present yourself to the world around you. You have control over the programming. Whatever you put into it is reflected in what comes out of it.
Many of us have behaviour patterns today that were programmed into our brains at a very tender age by our parents and things around us.
Our brains over time can record completely inaccurate or cruel information. The sad reality of this life is that we will continue to receive negative information, but we do not have to program it into our brains.
Your inner voice is the loudest and most influential voice you hear all your life. Some refer to this as self-critic. It can work for or against you, depending on the messages you allow into your system.
Your inner voice can be hopeful, cheerful, positive or doubtful, gloomy or negative. It can wear you down or cheer you on.
You can control the sender and the receiver only if you consciously take responsibility for your inner conversation and exercise good control over it.
There is a Bible proverb that says:
“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit saps one’s strength.” (Proverbs 17:22).
In other words, your attitude does make a difference!
It can determine whether you achieve a goal or not. It can also determine whether a tragic event brings out the best in you or the worst.
Your attitude will tell how you handle a given situation at every point in time and will determine whether the outcome will affect you positively or negatively.
Let us consider these two colleagues or school mates of yours:
Abena is very selfish. She thinks only of herself. She only does things for people when they do things for her. And she does not see any blessing in doing things for others. She sees it as a complete waste of time.
Adjoa is very caring. She devotes her time in making other people happy without expecting anything in return. She is always ready to help and give off her best. Basically, she thinks giving and helping others makes the heart happy.
Which of the two would you be attracted to as a friend?
I think your answer will be as good as mine. Adjoa would be the perfect friend, right?
This emphasizes the fact that our attitudes do make a difference.
Bad attitudes that are habitual are often as a result of past experiences and events.
Common causes of bad attitude include low self-esteem, stress, fear, resentment, anger and an inability to handle change.
It takes serious work to examine and get to the bottom of a harmful attitude, but once found and worked on, the rewards are far reaching and saves us the unpleasantness that comes with carrying this heavy baggage of trash around throughout a lifetime.
Now, we have agreed that bad attitudes can be changed. The question is how can we change our negative attitudes into real jolly good and positive one?
Let’s now look at how to improve our Attitude!
Here are a few things we can do to improve our attitudes.
A declaration is made up of words that charge you with power, conviction and faith. Declarations which are repeated several times each day, every day, serve to recycle your subconscious with positive thinking.
When you send a positive response to your subconscious, it accepts whatever you tell it. When this is done properly, it prompts positive feelings that in turn, drive action.
Examples of Self-Coaching Declarations are:
“I’m wonderfully and wonderfully made,
“I can do this.”
” I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Find out what pushes you to take action to change your life. Basic motivates include love, self-preservation, anger, financial gain and fear.
Self-motivation requires eagerness or interest, a positive view, a positive make-up (e.g walk faster, smile, sit up), and a belief in yourself and your God-given possibilities.
By the Power of Imagination
Studies of the psychology have found that most great athletes, surgeons, engineers and artists use declarations and imaginations either consciously or subconsciously to enhance and focus on their skills.
Nelson Mandela has written extensively on how imaginations helped him maintain a positive attitude while he was imprisoned for twenty-seven (27) years.
“I thought continually of the day when I would walk free. I fantasized about what I would like to do,” he wrote in his autobiography.
Imaginations works well to improve attitude. That’s why there are fairy tales, books, stories to sharpen our imagination and ground our faith and help us stay positive no matter what we might be going through presently.
By Positive Internal Conversation
Attitude talk is a way to override your past negative programming by erasing or replacing it with a conscious, positive internal voice that helps you face new directions. Your internal conversation, that little voice you listen to all day long, acts like a seed in that it programs your brain and affects your behaviour. Take a closer look at what you are saying to yourself.
By the Power of Words
“Life and death are in the tongue of man and we are ensnared by the words pf our mouth.”
Our words once released to the world cannot be taken back. We should all learn the concept of WOW (Watch Our Words).
What we speak replicate what is already in our hearts based upon all the things we have come to believe about ourselves. If we find ourselves being judgmental and reproachful about things, our circumstances or people around us, we know the condition of our hearts needs to change. You can create a direct path to success by what you say.
By Seeking Professional Help
If all your efforts fail to yield the desired results and you are still glued to negative attitude, seek professional help.
Attitude is indeed everything. It can make you or break you.
What do you want for yourself?
Do you want to succeed or fail?
Your attitude will decide.
Care for your attitude in the same way you would cultivate a garden. Take out the poisonous weeds of pessimism and negativity. Sow seeds of realistic hope and manure your life with actions that produce positive emotions and you will reap an emotional crop that will make your life much more rewarding.
Attitude does make a difference.
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