ALEXANDER AKOTO ADJEI

THE COFFIN MAKER

EPISODE 31-33

 

 

Episode 31

Michael Ansah

Papa, is what I’m hearing from people true that your shop got burnt to ashes and even a nail was not taken from the place?

Opana

Who told you that?

Michael Ansah

Mmmm, I overheard that gossip of a woman telling the other tenants when I was drying my things at the back of the house.

Opana

Which woman are you talking about and how did that person get to know since nobody in this house was at the shop when I got there?

Michael Ansah

Then, this Eno Bruwaa can talk paa ooo. Papa, you need to see how this woman was talking like she was standing there as the shop was on fire. It was later that the Hausa woman came to mummy to ask if what she heard was true and that was what got mummy running.

Opana

So, where is your mother now?

Michael Ansah

She is in your bedroom. I have sent Bernice to go and buy medicine for her so that it will stabilise her condition. But papa how true is the news the woman is speculating around?

Opana

Hmmmm, women and gossip, well the shop didn’t burn totally. It’s part of it which got burnt but well done my son for sending your sister to get medicine for your mother. Let me go inside and see how she is doing now but follow me so I give you something.

Mike follows his father into his bedroom and there he gave him the necklace with the cross locket which was given to him the previous day by the beggar and instructed him to always put it around his neck.

Opana

My son always put this necklace around your neck. Even when you are bathing put it on. It will serve as a protective gear for you from all attacks. Be it robbery, car accidents, assassination or anything evil. It was a gift someone gave me for a good deed I did for that person and today I’m handing it over to you. Learn to listen to your instincts anytime you have this necklace on, take very good care of it and keep it safe and I  promise good luck will always be your portion.

Michael Ansah

Wow, what a beautiful necklace, papa! I am very grateful for this masterpiece and I promise to keep it safe and always have it around my neck. Papa my friend from the city called me this morning to ask when I was coming to the city.

Opana

Mmmm, so what did you tell him?

Michael Ansah

I told him I had spoken to you and you have given me your full support and equally promised to assist me to acquire the needed gadgets for the upcoming project. He was really happy when I told him that.

Opana

He should be my son. Because I know you are a genius and anything you do, your impact is always above performance. I know you will excel in no time. I will like you to give me a little time so I can solve some pressing issues then I will sort you out nicely. Hope you are okay with that.

Michael Ansah

I’m very okay with your decision papa. I know you have to solve the shop issue first so anytime you are ready to sort me out, I will be patiently waiting for you but for now I’m going to continue with my laundry and sorry about your shop.

Opana

Okay, my boy.

Later, Opana goes to his fridge and pours himself some juice to cool his temper down and comes to stand by his window to watch his compound and shortly after he did that he gets angry with what he sees and hears.

 

Collins Twumasi

Charlie Dennis, this morning I’m really sad for our landlord paa ooo. In this hard time, if you lose something which brings money to your pocket, it is going to be something else ooo.

Dennis Asomani

Azay, I’m even sadder than you, my guy. I passed by the shop last night when I was coming home and everything was okay there, only to hear later this morning that the place was gutted by fire. I don’t know the extent of the damage but I feel for that man paaa, on this note if you are owing him rent then I guess you should start making his money ready because he won’t listen to any excuses for now.

Eno Bruwaa

(from nowhere joins the conversation without being invited) What was he expecting when he went to take money from the offering bowl at church yesterday? Was he thinking God was blind or daft? Me, I’m not judging him but what I know is that the stubborn fly must end up in the grave with the corpse.

Collins Twumasi

Enough madam, who invited you into our conversation? Don’t come and spoil our reggae with your funk, see our buttocks are covered with cotton so we have vowed not to jump any fire. Please go away with your troubles. You are always full of negative surprises. How did you know he went to take money from the offering bowl since you don’t attend the same church with him? I haven’t even seen you preparing for church before so where did you get this information from?

Dennis Asomani

Eno Bruwaa, I know before any problem passes by, it stops by your end to greet you so I beg you in the name of God to please go far from us. We didn’t see you nor talked to you, in fact, both of us were not here at all. For you things that will take someone a year to say, it takes less than a minute for you to say it.

Eno Bruwaa

(in a low tone) Did I say anything wrong to you guys?

Before anyone could utter a word they saw Opana standing in front of his door with a glass of juice in his hands. He quietly turned and entered his house without saying a word to anyone.

Collins Twumasi

You see what you have caused now? Dennis, I’m out of here.

Dennis Asomani

I believe you are happy now with your achievement. If you don’t stop gossiping, you will get into trouble whiles the court is on strike. Change your life for you are an elderly person.

Eno Bruwaa

Eeeeiiii, did this man hear the things that came out of my mouth? This my okra mouth will lead me into serious trouble oooo. Even if I say I won’t talk, then my mouth is doing me logoligilogoligi. My head is not a bank that keeps things you know but I hope this man didn’t hear me or else I’m doomed.

As Opana went inside, he dropped the glass of juice and made a call to an unknown person.

 

Opana

Where are you?

Unknown Person

Please the boys and I are still at the place trying to put the remaining pieces together.

Opana

Stop whatever you are doing and come to the house together with the boys right now, come along with your tools as well.

Unknown Person

Okay sir, we will be there in the shortest possible time.

In less than 30minutes Opana’s boys were at his door and he led them to Eno Bruwaa’s end. He ordered them to climb to the roof and start pulling off the roofing sheets of the room.

Eno Bruwaa

My landlord, please is there any problem?

Opana

Yes madam, there is a big problem. You know there is a problem with the roofing sheets of your room so I’m pulling it down so that when I get money, I will replace it with new ones.

Eno Bruwaa

But you could have given me prior notice so I can put my things in place and I am the one in the room and I’m not complaining.

Opana

Well you are not complaining because it is not your house and you know you owe me a lot of money. Instead of you to find ways and means to get me my money, you go about gossiping as if the government pays you to do that. Hey boys, what are you waiting for? Climb to the roof and start pulling off the roofing sheets and I don’t have to tell you to be careful up there, the sheets are very old and weak.

After sometime Eno Bruwaa’s daughter came to meet the destruction exercise that was going on at their end and she got angry.

Eno Bruwaa’s Daughter

Mama what is going on here? You didn’t tell me there was going to be a renovation exercise here this afternoon.

Eno Bruwaa

My dear, I don’t think it is a renovation exercise ooo, I think we are been ejected indirectly by our landlord.

Eno Bruwaa’s Daughter

But that is not how to eject someone from your house? First, you give the person 3months to get a room somewhere and after the 3months if the person hasn’t got anywhere yet, you top up again with another 3months making it 6months in total. This is not done anywhere in this country.

Opana

Nonsense!!! You want to read your rights to me huh? When that foolish husband of yours threw you out of his house, did he give you any prior notice before driving you away from his house? Why didn’t you ask him to give you time to pack out of his house? Don’t make me any angrier than I am now because you wouldn’t like the other side of me.

Eno Bruwaa’s Daughter

I left that man’s place because I was very fed up with the way things were going in that house. But for this, I won’t allow you to have your way just like that. I will go every length to put you in your right position. We are not animals to be treated this way. Mama, I will be back very soon. Wait for me here.

Eno Bruwaa

Where are you going, my daughter? Please take it easy and be careful what you do out there.

Opana

As if I care about the nonsense your daughter is spewing from her mouth. Hey, can’t you pull that roof over there down?

6th Apprentice

Master, the nail is hard for me to pull off, you know you haven’t taught us how to do this kind of thing. We are only specialized in coffin making.

Opana

Nonsense!!! Can’t you use your common sense? Get down for me to go up there. I will do it myself.

Opana climbed to the top and started pulling the roof down without mercy. He ordered one of the boys to go and find some of the scrap boys to buy the roofing sheets that were been pulled down. Because it was sunny and hot Opana was sweating badly so he took his handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his face and something fell without his notice…

Did Opana say he was angry?

Do you guys remember the rules and regulations of the beggar?

What will Eno Bruwaa’s daughter do at the end of the day?

I need not tell you that, the roof is on fire!!!!

Episode 32

Opana and his boys pulled the roofing sheets of Eno Bruwaa down without leaving behind a single sheet on the woman’s roof. One of his apprentices brought a scrap dealer and right in front of Eno Bruwaa, Opana sold the roofing sheetings for an amount of fifty Ghana cedis and gave the money out to his boys for them to go and use it for food for the work they did.  Opana went back to his house after he saw his boys off.

Akua Yankey

My love, I saw what you and your boys did and to me, I felt it was not necessary for you to go that mile.

Opana

My dear, you are not feeling well so please go and have some rest. I have had enough of that woman on this compound. I believe it is high time she is taught a lesson in this house. If I said I was ejecting her right now, it was going to take between 3 to 6 months before I throw her out of my own house but with this room without roof, we shall see if she will stay for another day even on this compound.

Akua Yankey

But my dear she is a human being and deserves a little respect and privacy if possible. I’m not in support of this my love.

Opana

I wasn’t expecting your support or endorsement of my actions my dear. Don’t worry your head on a matter that has no value to us, I have already executed my plans and admonishing my plans won’t change anything that has already happened. What I was expecting from you was for you to be asking me how bad my shop was damaged and not this PhD holder of gossip.

Akua Yankey

I had the intention to ask you that question until I saw you pulling down that woman’s roof.

Opana

Well luckily for me and you, it was half of the shop that got burnt so I have instructed the boys to put the shop in place and take pictures of the place.

Akua Yankey

Pictures? Is that necessary at this time? We must rush to the place to see how the place is before the boys take advantage of the situation and ransack your shop.

Opana

Relax woman, don’t worry your head about my shop, everything is under control, my sweet wife. Please prepare Banku and okra stew with big crabs for me, that is what I feel like eating this evening.

Akua Yankey

My love, are you sure you are very okay? Your shop which brings money to this house was gutted fire and you don’t even look bothered at all. You even have an appetite for food, you are full of surprises my dear.

Opana

You worry your head over things that are not necessary my dear. Okay, to calm your nerves down, I want you to know that the shop has been insured and I called them to inform them about the fire. They said they will come and inspect the place tomorrow morning so that is the reason why I told the boys to take pictures of the place.

Akua Yankey

Ah, what a piece of sweet news to hear at this particular time of misfortune. Where is Bernice? Come and take this money and rush to the market and get me some ingredients for okra stew preparation. Today, I will do a very special meal for you that, even when you have eaten to your satisfaction you will still want more.

Meanwhile, at the police station, the commander has received a letter from above that he has been transferred and the letter takes effect the very moment he reads it and sitting before him in his office is the officer who is to succeed him in his office as the new commander. He is not happy that he has been transferred to the national headquarters because he thought he was going to go on retirement at his current post as a district commander.

Back in Opana’s Compound:

There is a loud knock on the door which turns everyone’s attention to the door.

Opana

I hope it is not that disrespectful daughter of that gossip. Bernice, please check who is at the door.

Bernice Ansah

(opens the door and sees armed police officers in uniform standing in front of the door) How may I help you, sir?

Police Officer

Young girl where is your father, is he inside the room? Tell him some police officers are looking for him.

Opana

(screams from the room) Bernice who is that at the door?

Police Officer

It is the police, please come out right this moment.

Akua Yankey

Police? My God not again this time, my dear you see what I told you earlier on. I was having the feeling that your action will bring great repercussion. Please don’t go out there my love, just go and hide in the storeroom so I go out there to face them.

Opana

My dear, can you please calm down? Nothing at all will happen so just relax and I don’t want to hear any word from you again until the police personnel are gone.

Opana walks out to meet the police officers outside his house with full confidence.

Opana

Yes, how may I help you? Because I don’t remember inviting you over to my house.

Police Officer

Sir, you are under arrest for unlawful entry into this young lady’s house and creating a mess over there. Please be warned that anything you say here will be used against you in the court of law and you have the right to an attorney but you can only make that call when we get to the police station.

Opana

Did you use the word “unlawful entry” in this compound of mine? Have you even made a move to that place to ascertain the damage of the place in the first place?

Police Officer

Well a team of officers has been dispatched there to check the place out, so that is not for you to worry. (pulls a handcuff out to put it on Opana’s hand)

Opana

Youngman, are you mad or something? Did you just pull that rusted handcuff on me? What do you think you can do with it? Am I resisting arrest and do you by chance know who you are standing before?

Police Officer

I don’t want to be rude but I’m not sure you are God or the Inspector General of Police. You better keep quiet and move before I bundle you into the car like a thief. I am treating you gently only because you are an elderly person. You think because you are a landlord, you and God are on the same platform. Behave yourself right now before I show you the bad side of me.

Opana

Mmmm, let me see your shoulder first. So you have not even gotten to the rank of an inspector and you are standing in front of me to command me like you are even more than the IGP. God, please give me the spirit of patience if not blood pressure will kill me. And you young lady, the fact that you have taken steps to the police station first doesn’t render you a victor. I love litigation more than an Akyem man. I’m the first Akuapem man who litigated with a Whiteman for him to withdraw his case from the supreme court.

Eno Bruwaa’s Daughter

Then, I’m going to be the first person you’ll lose your first litigation case to. You think we are that weak for you to trample on us just like that. You haven’t seen anything yet.

Akua Yankey

So, why didn’t you come and see me first before you went to the police station, young lady?

Eno Bruwaa’s Daughter

Madam, did your husband see you first before he came to pull our roof down?

Eno Bruwaa

Ask her for me my daughter, the painful part is that he sold the roofing sheets in front of me for an amount of fifty Ghana cedis and shared the money amongst his boys.

Akua Yankey

Herh, so it is true that you don’t respect.

Police Officer

Please enter the car, guys let’s move.

Akua Yankey and her daughter rushed out of the house to pick a taxi to the police station after the police officers left the house with her husband. Michael later comes to the house to hear that his father has been arrested by the police. He rushes to the house to get money and make a follow-up. As he was leaving the house, he bumps into someone and apologises to the person then he runs to stop a taxi. The person he bumped into starts asking people around who he was and why he was running from the house like a lunatic…

Episode 33

Unknown Person

Excuse me madam please who is that young man who nearly pushed me to the ground?

Eno Bruwaa

Oh, that one? He is the useless son of the foolish landlord of this house.

Unknown Person

(whispers to himself) Mmmm, so that is the fool I have been looking forward to meet one on one anytime soon.

Eno Bruwaa

Excuse me what did you say?

Unknown Person

(playing smart) Oh it’s nothing ma’am. Mmmm, please ooo I’m looking for my friend, who I’m told lives in this compound.

Eno Bruwaa

What is the name of that friend of yours?

Unknown Person

Mmmmmm, I call her Aggielious Kyerewaabrutal but her real name is Agnes Kyerewaa and I hope I’m at the right place.

Eno Bruwaa

You are in the right place but are you just a friend or a customer?

Unknown Person

I beg your pardon madam, but why this silly question? What do you mean by asking me if am a customer or friend?

Eno Bruwaa

Hehehe, see me see trouble ooo, you need assistance and I want to know your purpose of looking for that young lady so why this aggressiveness towards me?

Unknown Person

Excuse me, are you her assistant, her custodian, her guardian or what? I just asked for a little assistance and you are here probing me like I’m coming for a job interview. Can you please be polite and just show me the direction to her door and stop this unnecessary interview?

Agnes Kyerewaa

(comes out of her room to see her friend and joins him where Eno Bruwaa is standing with him) Hey, what are you doing here and do you know this woman already?

Unknown Person

Hmmm, I came around the vicinity and decided to check up on you and see if I could trace the direction you gave me the other time. I’m checking to see if my memory is still accurate but as I got here, I met this woman who is putting questions to me like she is the interviewer of the visa I need to your end. How are you related to her?

Agnes Kyerewaa

Hmmmm, so Eno Bruwaa when will you stop this attitude of yours?

Do you always have to make your presence felt anywhere you are? Please don’t ever try that your gossiping nonsense with me again because if you do, you won’t have it easy with me in this compound. My guy let’s go and leave this woman.

Eno Bruwaa

Ah, is that how your words stink? Don’t you know how to speak to an elderly person? No wonder Kwaku Mike turned you into a punching bag, learn how to speak with the elderly so that your days on earth will be long.

Agnes KyerewaaHw3! Me, if you don’t respect yourself, I won’t also respect you koraa ooo. If you say I should learn how to talk, you too learn how to pay your rent so that your roof won’t be pulled down.

Eno Bruwaa

Hehehe, this young lady paaa, you don’t check yourself erh. You think you have gotten a job to do erh, because different men enter in between your legs and come out, you think it makes you a billionaire. Let me tell you, all fingers are not the same and the ashawo business you do is not a job which you can do for life. If I were doing this stupid work, like I will kill myself.

Agnes Kyerewaa

Did you say you will kill yourself if you were into this business? Have you taken a closer look at yourself and your face? You look very ugly as a gorilla and that if you were in this same business, even if you were rendering free services, the men won’t bother coming your way. I need to give applauds to the man who climbed on top of you to bring into the world those things who were not created by God that you call children. Nonsense, me if you bring yourself I will paint and dry clean you.

Eno Bruwaa

Ooooo ashawo kobo kobo. Ashawo without portfolio. Ashawoooooo

Unknown Person

My dear, let’s go and leave this woman. It’s not healthy for you to be exchanging words with an elderly person.

Agnes Kyerewaa

My friend, wait a minute so I tell this gossip my piece of mind. If you care to know, ashawo is one of the oldest professions in the world and in the bible a prostitute like me was the person who saved some men of God from being slaughtered like animals. Ashawo is far far better than the cheap gossip you have been doing in and out of this compound. If you don’t know, gossiping is a disease that attacks the mouth which breaks people’s homes and cause serious problems between some people living in peace and harmony. Me I don’t respect myself one bit so if you bring yourself you will see that I’m much more stupid than you have ever thought about me.

Eno Bruwaa

No wonder your face has been rearranged for you by the landlord’s son.

The unknown person pulls Agnes Kyerewaa away as he saw that the argument was getting overboard and could lead to an unwanted brawl.

 

Meanwhile, Kwaku Mike had gotten himself a taxi to the next town where the police station was, but as he was in the car, he remembered that he had the necklace his father gave him in his pocket so he brought it out and put it around his neck. Immediately he feels something strangling his neck but he couldn’t shout nor pull it off for some time till the pain or struggle came to a stop when the taxi got to the police station. He pays the driver and he rushes to the charge office and when he got there the place was thrown in a disarrayed atmosphere.

Opana

You this police officer, if you knew who you are dealing with,  you will start apologising to me for me to forgive you for your stupid conduct. You followed this stupid girl’s statement and because of that, you will lose your job without any future benefit or entitlement. You don’t know who you are joking with, go and ask of Opana “the rough boy” very well and they will tell you that I’m a very baaaaaaaaad man.

Police Officer

You better shut up over there and start undressing because I’m going to throw you into the cell so that next time, you will know how to treat your fellow human being.

Opana

Hmmmm, I wish you knew the problem that you are calling upon yourself and don’t blame me if I decide to pay you back in your own coin. I’m a descendant of Abraham who goes with an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth principle. Herh, officer, at the counter, you are quiet like you don’t know me, have you forgotten what transpired between the two of us the last time. Do this greedy police officer here who has taken a bribe to do this silly thing good by telling him who I am. Anyway, where is the commander?

The commander walks out of his office together with the station master with a sad face as the station commander was trying to console him.

Opana

Aha, that’s who am looking for. Mr commander, please I need your attention here and now. Come and tell your stupid officer something for him to know who he is dealing with.

Commander

My friend, shut up over there, you talk too much. This is not a market place for you to be raising your voice like you want people to come and buy your wares.

Opana

Mr commander, have you forgotten who I am so soon and the bond we have between us?

Commander

You are the worse thing to have ever come in contact with. Ever since you walked into my office things started to go against me and now see what has happened, all my plans have turned upside down. (walks out of the charge office to the compound of the police station)

Opana

(in a low tone) Herh, this man wants to bite more than he can chew. Has he forgotten who he is dealing with and what I can do? Chief Inspector, is everything alright with your boss this afternoon? He’s acting weird and strange to my liking this afternoon.

Chief Inspector

He just received a letter of his transfer this afternoon and the transfer takes effect right now so as you are seeing him right now he no longer has a final say here in this police station.

Opana

Mamamia!!! Holala!!! Gracious God of yesterday, today and tomorrow, tell me you are joking and that what you said is nowhere near the word true.

Chief Inspector

Does this place looks like a theatre hall for me to be doing concert for you?

Opana now sees that his world is about to cave in on him and he starts to pray in his head. At this point, Akua Yankey is very disturbed that she doesn’t even know what to do or say, she goes to Eno Bruwaa’s daughter and kneels before her to plead with her so that she withdraws the case she brought to the police station but the young lady is very adamant and not even looking at the direction of the woman before her.

Back in Opana’s Compound:

 

Unknown Person

Hey, you better put yourself together and forget about this old woman, I came for an important discussion and not to be separating a brawl like a referee. Have you been able to gather any information for me?

Agnes Kyerewaa

No for now, but I’m doing everything humanly possible to get you the necessary information you will need.

Unknown Person

You need to step up my dear. When the going gets tough the tough get going so don’t let trivial matters like what you and the woman got yourself into take much of your time. I bumped into someone who I’m told is our target but because he was rushing out of the house I couldn’t place a recognition tag on him. Revenge is served best when it is hot on my path and the more we wait the colder it gets, I can’t wait to lay my hands on him and squeeze the life out of him. Killing is my hobby and for some time now I haven’t gotten the opportunity to seize anyone’s life from him or her and it is getting me very sick…

 

Is Opana going to walk out of this crisis freely and easily, looking at the nature of the case?

What can Akua Yankey and her children do to bring her husband out of police custody?

Is Kwaku Mike’s life in danger?

Interesting days ahead!!!!

Edited By:

Joana Mensah

The Coffin Maker

The Author

I am Akoto Adjei Alexander, a Christian. A product of Abetifi Presbyterian Senior High School, Abetifi-Kwahu. I am in my late 20’s and the last born of the boys my parent brought to earth. I am a fiction/scriptwriter who loves to write about nature and the realities of life. Furthermore, I do a little of Graphics Design, I do MC’ing of events somethings, a Motivational Speaker and a Relationship Talk Expert.

Guest Writer: Alexander Akoto Adjei :: THE COFFIN MAKER :: EPISODE 29-30

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