ALEXANDER AKOTO ADJEI
THE COFFIN MAKER
EPISODE 56-58
Episode 56
Opana
Doctor, so if the money you quoted for me the other day is ready, how soon can it take for my daughter to be flown out of the country for her surgery to take place?
Doctor
I will say if the money is ready today, latest by seven days your daughter and her mother should be in the air travelling to the States to get her surgery done.
Opana
Did you say her mother? I’m the one going with her outside the country and no one else.
Doctor
Hahaha, sir that will be the wrong decision to take. Your wife is going to work on your daughter 24/7 when they get there, moreover a woman takes care of a girl and not a man rather. Your daughter’s privacy must be respected so it will be appropriate for her to go with her mother.
Opana
Hmmmmm! It is because you are a professional that is why am going to listen to you and not oppose. I will get the money ready hopefully by tomorrow so please start making arrangements for their visa processing and hotel reservation for me. I have to rush and see my lawyer for something very important, my dear we will meet in the house, please call me if anything new pops up.
Akua Yankey
Okay, my dear and please take very good care of yourself knowing what we have at hand.
At the Adu-Tettey’s residence:
Brigadier Adu-Tettey
Abi I don’t know why you don’t want me to continue pursuing this matter, this matter is of national interest and if I was to throw my weight into it with my boys in less than 14days we will capture and apprehend every single member of that cartel. This is what we are trained for and doing it brings joy to us, am a proud “SOLDIER”. You Civilians have University we the
The Military have Training Colleges, you have Vice-Chancellors and we soldiers have Commandants, you people have Lecturers but we have Instructors. Your day starts by 0700hours but ours start by 0400hours, you wake up at 0600hours and we jump up at 0300hours, you shake hands but we salute. You civilians wear Gucci, Prada and Armani but we wear Camouflage or dark green Khaki, you keep your hairs but we trim off our hairs, you people wake up but we jump up, you walk but we double up in divisions. You have students but we have Cadets or Recruits, you have Dining Halls but we have Mess, you go on break but we go on Pass. You have Conference Halls but we have Parade Grounds. You have Graduation Party but we have Passing Out Parade, to you people, injury is for one and one only whilst to us, injury for one is an injury for all. You get short term light drills only in your graduation whilst rigorous drills are our everyday blood tonic. You civilians have school colleagues but for us we have comrades, you people have Civilian Blood but we have MILITARY Blood. You people Demand Respect but we Command Respect, we took this job knowing that we may never get rich, we have missed out so many holidays, church or mosque services and special occasions in order to protect your lives. We are expected to work miracles and do things other people are scared to do and even save lives. It has been proven that our life expectancy is shorter than you civilians because of the stress we go through and the sickness we are exposed to, yet there are no hero movies about us. We must give our lives every day for people we don’t know, have never met before and even those who don’t like us. When families are home enjoying alone, we are out there in the cold, we are exposed to dangerous situations and all in the name of protecting properties and saving lives. We are warriors who gave oaths to die for our people and our dear country. I am a very proud ”SOLDIER”.
Mrs Adu-Tettey(claps her hands) Bravo!!! What a marvellous speech, you need to be made the speechwriter of the Chief of Défense Staff (CDS) or even the President. My dear, am telling you for the last time that I don’t want to be a young widow. Let me please enjoy my marriage with you, my king. If I have to lie down on the floor to beg you, I am willing to do it, my love. Please am begging you with the name of God and our little children.
Brigadier Adu-Tettey
Honey, what is all this? So, can’t I do my job again?
Mrs Adu-Tettey
(raising her voice) This is not the job you were assigned to do my love. if you don’t withdraw your interest in this case, I will have no option than to report you to your parents and the pastor at church. What is all this?
Brigadier Adu-Tettey
Abi, you just raised your voice at me for the first time in my 18 years of being with you.
Mrs Adu-Tettey
Vincent, I will raise my voice at you again and again if you don’t listen to me. You know very well that I never liked the idea of you joining the army as you graduated from university. I have been enduring all this while anytime you travel on foreign missions and bush operations. When was the last you spent three consecutive days in this house with the kids and myself? When was even the last time that you made love to me? When was the last time you took us out to shop or buy ice cream even for the kids? Do you know how many times I have to lie and cover up for you when the children ask me of your whereabouts? Do you know how bad I felt when Reedorf asked me if you truly care about us? Are you the only military personnel at the Presidency? Vincent, I’m losing it and it’s about time you do something about your work and the time you have for us.
Brigadier Adu-Tettey
Woooow, so how long have you been harbouring this anger in you towards me? Don’t I give you money to go shopping and take the kids out? Do I starve you of material things? Am I not trying well enough?
Mrs Adu-Tettey
Vincent, are you listening to yourself? Do you think am a materialistic person? Don’t I earn more than you at the end of the month? If you give me money for shopping and outing with the kids, do you also give me money to go out and buy sex or are you planning to buy me a sex doll or dildo so I make use of it when I am horny? See, am a human being with red blood flowing through my veins and if you have forgotten I also have feelings that need to be attended to.
Brigadier Adu-Tettey
Oh, so all this noise and voice raising at me is because of sex huh?
Mrs Adu-Tettey
What were you thinking Vincent? When was the last time you made me feel like a real young woman? Have you forgotten that sex holds marriage for about 70%? You better…
Brigadier Adu-Tettey
(cuts in) Come here my pretty damsel. Am sorry for neglecting you for some time now my Queen. You are very right with every single word you said and to make things up to you, I am going to switch my phone off so I spend quality time with you today. Today I will make you gasp for breath. Since I have starved you for long, I will combine all and give it to you this hot morning through the afternoon.
(picks his phone and dials a number to give some information to the person)
Unknown Person
Hello, this is the office of the President VIP Protection Unit, how may I help you?
Brigadier Adu-Tettey
Hello Hannah, how are you? It is me Brigadier Adu-Tettey. Some important things came up for me to handle so for the next 3 days you won’t see me in the office. Cancel any appointment I have and tell Colonel Ronnie Teddy to call me for an important discussion because his line is not going through.
Hannah
Okay sir, I will convey your message to him the moment he walks into the office but before I forget, Sir you have a meeting with the Defence and Interior Ministers at 4pm today.
Brigadier Adu-Tettey
I will speak with Colonel Ronnie Teddy to sit in for me since I won’t be around for the next 3days. Please channel all problems and concerns to him since he is my 2IC over there. Have a nice day. (drops call)
Mrs Adu-Tettey
Baby, does it mean that am going to have you for me for the next 3 days?
Brigadier Adu-Tettey
Yes, my cupcake. Am all yours, so do as you please with me but please be a bit gentle on me wai.
Quincy’s House:
Maabena Boaduwaa
Guys, food is ready, so let me go and wash down so I come and dish it out when am back.
Quincy
Can I join you inside there?
Maabena Boaduwaa
What for if I may ask?
Quincy
Today you are asking me what for because my friend is here? Well, let me tell you since you want to know why I want to join you. I will help bathe your back since your hands can’t reach there.
Maabena Boaduwaa
Are you the one who has been doing that for me when am in my house?
Michael Ansah
Maabena, don’t do that to the birthday boy. Please consider him and let him follow you in there. You can also give him a birthday bath.
Maabena Boaduwaa
Hmmmm! If you say so. Mike, I will consider and make him follow me inside there but Quincy no touching baby.
Quincy
Kwaku Mike, God bless you and thank you for the word so sweet. My dear, I promise to be a very good boy inside there. Oya make we go.
As soon as the two love birds left to the washroom, Kwaku Mike started feeling the strangling pain on his neck for a short time then immediately his phone started to ring.
Did Brigadier do the right thing with the call he made?
Now that Kwaku Mike has opened up to Quincy and Maabena what is his faith?
Why did Kwaku Mike feel a short strangling on his neck? Is a looming problem approaching?
Episode 57
Michael Ansah
(speaking to himself before answering the call) Why did I feel this way all of a sudden? Am I safe with these two love birds? Well, I will put my eyes and ears to the ground so I don’t find myself in any compromising state. Who was even calling me earlier on?
Back at Opana Lawyer’s office:
Opana
My credible and dependable lawyer, I greet you, sir.
Lawyer
Hello sir, you are very welcome to my chamber this sunny afternoon. How is every member of your family doing?
Opana
They are all doing very well.
Lawyer
We thank the Most High for His genuine care over us. Well our elders say the toad doesn’t run in daylight just like that. It could be that something is chasing it or it is chasing after something. Please what brings you here this afternoon sir?
Opana
Hmmmmm! my reliable legal advisor and consultant, I greet you again. My purpose of coming here is very simple but very delicate, I want you to do a change of ownership on my palm plantation and parcel of lands close to the highway.
Lawyer
Oh, but why sir, that place is a vantage point, that in about 10 years from now it will fetch you millions of Cedis when the district capital is brought here by the government.
Opana
Hmmmmm! time happens to be my greatest enemy on this earth for now, my brother. If I say am waiting for one more day, a volcano will erupt with a force that will burn us all.
Lawyer
Gosh, did you say a volcanic eruption? This kind of thing has never happened in Ghana before and if it is going to happen, it shouldn’t be in this town and region. I have made a lot of investments in this region and if any volcano erupts it will bring serious setbacks to me and the country. It is good you have decided to sell that land before it gets destroyed with the eruption.
Opana
Oh, my brother, why this long condolence message? I didn’t say my land is having any volcanic eruption or anything bad, so where from all these negative expressions?
Lawyer
Oh, sorry for driving my mind towards that direction but I heard you mention volcanic eruption earlier on. Can you please go straight to your point now?
Opana
Hmmmmm! my house is on fire. My brother, the roof of my house is burning, that, if nothing is done in this early stage, what might happen will cause doom.
Lawyer
(jumps to his feet) Whaaaat? Your roof is on fire and you are sitting here looking unconcerned. Let’s rush to your house and get the fire quenched before it causes any mayhem or destroys your valuable properties.
Opana
My brother, is everything okay at your end? You seem lost and out of contrast this afternoon. Am only speaking in parables and you are thinking negatively. Well to make things very easy and simple, I am selling my land because my last or youngest daughter has been hospitalised and she needs to undergo surgery outside the country to correct the disfunction. The doctor said if I waste time, the problem will rather increase. That is the reason why am selling my lands.
Lawyer
What sickness is she suffering from and when did it start?
Opana
Actually, she is not suffering from any sickness or disease…
Lawyer
(cuts in) Ah if she is not suffering from any sickness or disease, then what is she doing at the hospital then?
Opana
Hehehehe lawyer, so how did you pass your exams to gain admission into the law school and how did you even pass through the law school for you to be called to join the Bar Association?
Lawyer
I beg your pardon Sir, what are you trying to insinuate? What do you mean by the questions you are asking?
Opana
Sorry, if my question sounded offensive my credible lawyer. I was expecting you to know that it is not only sickness or diseases that makes one go to the hospital for admission. Accidents and other unforeseen things also lead people to that place.
Lawyer
(scratching his head) That is also very true my brother. It didn’t come to mind in the first place but do you mind opening up to me?
Opana
I don’t mind telling you everything since you are my lawyer. If I will hide anything away from anyone at all in this world you are an exception. My daughter was knocked down by a sceptic vehicle some days ago and the driver took to his heels and as at now, no one knows the driver’s whereabouts. After the doctors carefully examined her I was told that her spine has developed a serious injury which won’t enable her to walk again unless a serious surgery is done for her and as if that is not enough she has also lost her memory and that one also requires immediate surgery in South Africa or the States, to make matters worse I have been given a deadline or else my dear daughter will run mad.
Lawyer
God’s of my forefathers please come to the rescue of my brother here. So, what is the way forward now?
Opana
The way forward is very simple. Someone is willing to buy my lands hence that is the reason for selling the lands. Please work on the change of ownership documents as soon as possible, because any single second we waste will put my daughter’s life is into great danger.
Quincy’s End:
Michael Ansah
(on phone) Hello, please may I know who is on the line because I don’t know this number?
Caller
It’s me, Julia. Mike, I have been trying your line for some time now but it wasn’t going through. Later when it went through, you were not answering your call. How are you and where have you been?
Michael Ansah
I’m fine ooo, my dear. My phone has been giving me problems. That is why sometimes you call me and it doesn’t go through.
Caller
Oh, sorry my dear, all the same, I wanted to get the list of the things you want me to buy for you when coming over to Ghana. My flight is this evening.
Michael Ansah
Mmmmm, my dear, I will need some advanced cameras, printers, studio lights and some laptops.
Caller
Is that all you need? Because you told me a short while ago that your phone is also giving you problems?
Michael Ansah
Oh, it will be awesome if you get me a phone also. I didn’t want to make the bill go up.
Caller
Never mind my dear. I have got it all covered. Do well to meet me at the airport tomorrow afternoon so that you collect your things. Please my time is very limited when I touch down, so kindly be at the airport even before I walk out from the arrival hall. Will call you back when I return from doing my last-minute shopping and the things you requested for.
Michael Ansah
Wooow thanks very much in advance, you can’t phantom how happy I am over here. All the same, I will be at the airport even before your flight lands on the soil of mother Ghana.
Caller
Alright, my dear, you will hear from me when am back. Stay safe and be good (call ends)
Michael Ansah
(jubilating and making noise) My good people come and see what the Lord has done ooo, He has brought hope to me the hopeless, He has brought me from shame to fame, from grass to grace, from who are you to how are you. What shall I render unto the Lord for his mercies, protection and favour, baba God you do all.
Maabena Boaduwaa
(walks out from the washroom) Mike why all this cacophonic jubilation, have you won a lottery? Quincy dear, come out from the shower and listen to your brother from another mother.
Quincy
(walks in to join his friend and lover) Bro blow me the stuff that has placed you on a different planet, my ears are feeling very itchy to hear what you have to say to us.
Michael Ansah
Bro, you can’t imagine what my ears heard some seconds ago, Julia called and she has agreed to get us some latest cameras, printers and even laptops.
Quincy
Tell me you are kidding, my ears don’t believe what I just heard from your lips.
Michael Ansah
Bro, it is true and I mean damn true, get ready because we are meeting her tomorrow afternoon at the airport.
Quincy
Really? Baby, did you just hear what my brother from another mother just said? If we are going to get those gadgets then be rest assured that our lives are going to change very soon. You can’t imagine what the two of us can do when we have cameras and laptops in our possession, we are going to transform the scene very soon my darling girl. Mike this news calls for celebration…
Episode 58
Kwaku Mike together with Quincy and Maabena Boaduwaa enjoyed themselves with food and drinks till the sun went down, Kwaku Mike decided later to go out and enjoy the evening breeze so that he could give the two lovers some privacy. He informed Quincy that he wanted to take a little stroll in the neighbourhood so he could get familiarised with the area, Quincy didn’t like the idea of him walking alone outside but as Kwaku Mike mentioned the word “privacy” and Maabena heard that word, she started to give Quincy eye signals for him to allow Kwaku Mike go out so that they could have a little quiet time together.
Quincy
Bro, I don’t like the idea of you going out all alone at this time of the night. Remember what you passed through in the hands of those criminals. Moreover, you don’t know this area very well and it is getting dark too.
Michael Ansah
Bro, don’t worry about me. You know how I do my thing and who knows if I might get hooked up with a nice lady out there? Remember that three is always a crowd, let me step out a bit so I give you guys a little privacy.
Quincy
What privacy are you talking about? Am I complaining of you been a hindrance or what? I don’t like your idea at all and I insist you…
Maabena Boaduwaa
(cuts Quincy short) What idea of Mike don’t you like? Why are you treating him like a little child? If he wants to step out a bit, why are you depriving him of that? Please allow Mike to operate and function effectively without any restrictions. For me I support his idea 100% especially in his current condition, it will be appropriate for him to exercise a bit so that the veins and body will remain strong.
Quincy
I only want the best for my brother from another mother. Who knows if those fools are now in the street tracking him down?
Michael Ansah
Nothing will happen to me, my guy. Your area and house are going to be the last place those idiots will ever think of visiting, I know am no longer in danger so please relax and enjoy your birthday with the queen of your life and heart.
Quincy
But who told you that I’m bothered with you joining me here in my single room self-contained. I am very okay with you my brother. I do remember everything you did for me back at the university.
Maabena Boaduwaa
Kwasi Quincy, why are you so difficult sometimes, do you mean to say that your friend or better still brother from another mother doesn’t know what he wants? Mike, please do as you wish but be careful with yourself as you step out.
Michael Ansah
(smiles before walking out) I promise to convey myself here very safe and sound, I won’t step on anyone’s toe and won’t engage myself in anything that will cause any problem for you or me. Quincy my brother enjoy the quiet time with your Queen will be back in about 2hours time. (steps out of the room)
Quincy
Maabena, what was that drama that you put up some minutes ago? See I and Mike go way back and I don’t want you to be coming between us like that.
Maabena Boaduwaa
Hey, calm down Mr man, all that I was doing was just for your interest if you don’t know, I wanted him to step out so that we will get some privacy for ourselves. I saw how you were lusting for me inside the bathroom that was why I was pushing him to step out so that you get what you want, you know your place is very small to contain your friend and I. Now you should bear in mind that with your friend here anytime you want to have me or I want to have you inside me unless you come to my place and that will also be when my parents are not in the house.
Quincy
Hmmmmmm!! we will know what to do very soon but please don’t make my friend for a second feel or think that his coming here was and is a mistake because I forced him here and he’s coming over will rather open doors that will benefit us. Please treat him special and let him feel at home.
Maabena Boaduwaa
I will try my best to be of my best conduct towards him but do you think you making him come over to your end was the best option and are we safe with him around us? Baby the people I saw in the hospital looked very deadly and aggressive to me ooo and for me, I will advise you make him find somewhere else to move into because I don’t want him to endanger us with his presence here.
Quincy
Enough of this nonsense that is coming from your mouth, Maabena. This should be the last time you raise any issue concerning my friend. I will pretend that I didn’t hear what you said and let me throw caution to you not to ever open up on the story he told us to any living soul because if you do death will be the reward that we will get.
Maabena Boaduwaa
So, can’t I now express myself any longer in this relationship? You are not been fair over here baby. You have been behaving differently since your friend stepped into this room. You are now supporting and giving him attention more than me. He’s now your priority and not me again. I came here to give you a birthday threat and see what you are doing to me. I can’t take…
Quincy
(cuts in with a loud voice) Enough!!! Please stop this right away, you know what I think I also need fresh air outside because I don’t want to be listening to things coming out from your mouth. You are surprising me with your attitude this evening baby girl.
Maabena Boaduwaa
Step out and see if you will come and meet me in this room. Do you think am not happy when I am in my parents’ house? I came here to enjoy quality time with you since today is your birthday and you are doing everything possible to raise a fight with me. See what you are looking forward to get from me as a form of fight won’t happen today so you better have to think of something else. I only want to give you a mind-blowing birthday gift on this bed but if you don’t want it, I will only take my thing back to the house.
Quincy
Did I hear you say my thing? Don’t you know that what you are referring to isn’t yours but you are just taking care of it for me?
Maabena Boaduwaa
Since when did it become yours? You have been stealing and enjoying it illegally, Mr man. You have only a year to come and make it yours officially from my parents or else I will give any man who comes to my house to ask for my hand in marriage a chance. Am not getting any younger you know.
Quincy
Hmmmm!! Let any man who wants to die to cross me and see. I won’t hesitate to kill any man who tries to share you with me, my dear. I will chop off that person’s balls and boil it for him to eat it himself. Now come to daddy for him to give you some special treatment.
Maabena Boaduwaa
(biting her lips) That is what am talking about and please give it to me real hard this evening because now we won’t be doing it very often since your friend is nowhere with you.
Outside Quincy’s room:
Kwaku Mike takes a long stroll and he comes across a provision store and he enters to buy himself a drink as he continues his evening stroll and, in the shop, he sees a very beautiful lady shopping. He foolishly looks at the lady and forgets that he’s standing at the counter where he was to make payment of the drink he bought. The shop attendant had to tap him before he came back to himself which got everyone in the shop laughing apart from the beautiful lady who he was looking at. Kwaku Mike paid for the drink and decided to wait for the lady outside and have a little chat with her and if possible, ask for her contact so that he could be checking up on her from time to time. Was it love at first sight or it was just foolishness? Because you just saw the person for the first time and you can’t simply take a walk away from her. What if she is engaged or even married? Well after some minutes of waiting and enduring the unfriendly nature of the mosquitoes in the area the beautiful lady majestically walks out from the provision shop with polybags in both hands so Kwaku Mike rushes to her to help her carry the things she bought.
Michael Ansah
Hello pretty goddess, can I help you carry your things since a pretty lady like you shouldn’t be stressing herself like that?
Pretty Lady
Excuse me will you take your hands off me before I slap you…
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Edited By:
Sam Portuphy
THE COFFIN MAKER
THE AUTHOR
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