ALEXANDER AKOTO ADJEI

THE COFFIN MAKER

EPISODE 84-85

Episode 84

Julia sings and dances happily to her suite, but some few steps to the door, something hit her that all was not well back in the room where she left Mike. She finally got to the door and started knocking politely from the start, but as she knocked for some time and there was no response, she started knocking heavily which called the attention of other guests who were also lodging in the hotel.

Neighbour:

Excuse me young lady, is everything okay here? Your constant noise making is kind of creating inconvenience for my family and I. My new born son just slept, after hours of trying to put him to sleep as the mother has gone out to fix her hair.

Julia:

(wanting to be rude but kept her composure) Sorry about that Sir. I and my boyfriend are the occupants of this suite. I left him for a meeting and forgot to take along the door card. I returned to see the door is locked, and after several knocks on the door, there is no response from him.

Neighbour:

Really? I think I heard some people talking some minutes ago in this very room, but I didn’t come out so I can’t tell if he has stepped out or there is any problem.

Julia:

Has he stepped out or he has drunk himself to stupor? (starts knocking again in front of the man)

Neighbour 2:

(steps out of her suite) Hey young woman, I hope you are not too blind to see the inscriptions pasted boldly over there that unnecessary noise making is prohibited here. Some of us came here to relax and refresh our bodies and minds, so don’t spoil our reggae with your funk. I paid hundreds of dollars to acquire a room here so kindly respect yourself and abide by the simple rules that have been stipulated down for guests and clients that patronise this hotel.

Neighbour:

Ma’am if truly you were in this room, then I will phone the receptionist so that they bring a master card to open the door for you. If it happens that you were lying to me erh, you will know who you are dealing with. Excuse me as I make the call inside my room for them to bring the master card.

Neighbour 2:

I will wait here for the receptionist to come up with the master card and also confirm to us that indeed you are the person lodging in this expensive room as young as you are.

Julia:

See her too! How much money did you pay to acquire the room you are in?. Why would I dress myself from the comfort of my house and come to this hotel, bypass the security, walk through the reception, join the elevator leading to the last floor and knock only on this door without trying any other one. Learn to shut your big mouth up small madam.

Neighbour:

Mmm young woman I have placed a call through to the reception and I was assured that someone has been dispatched here to see to it that everything is okay.

Julia:

Thank you very much, Sir for your care and concern about me.

Neighbour 2:

The end will justify its means, and we will see whether you are the occupant of that room or you are either a night worker or slay queen.

Julia:

Madam I have tried very well not to be rude or use any abusive words towards you, but it seems you are doing everything humanly possible to make me react in a very cold way towards you. I am just calm because, if I decide to be rude here, everyone on this floor will have to come out from his or her suite to watch me display. Please stop poking your noise into my business or what I do. I don’t know why most of you women love to gossip like that. If you don’t know, gossip is a tool of the devil so find something lucrative or beneficial to do with your life.

Neighbour 2:

Don’t you dare try to open your mouth and insult me or else…

Julia:

(cuts in harshly) Or else what? Were you in any way trying to say you will beat me?

Neighbour 2:

(walking towards her) Certainly my dear. If you open that dustbin you call your mouth again I will redesign your face with my bare hands. If you don’t know me, go to Bukom and ask about Ayorkor Bruce Lee. I will beat you to death and nothing will happen. Don’t let my nice looks or dressing deceive you at all.

Julia:

(also walks to meet the lady) If you call yourself Ayorkor Bruce Lee here, then when you get to Las Vegas in the United States, ask of Julia Bruno. I like people who run their mouth and boast of their prowess in fighting because, I myself I am a street girl, and I have fought several men to get money to leave out there in the United States. You know what, this is not the place for me to read out my resume to you baby girl. Let’s get the fight rolling for us to see who the mafia here is.

Neighbour:

(comes between the two ladies) Excuse me ladies. Please this is not the time and place to do this. You can settle your scores when you two meet elsewhere, but over here, I am sorry I am not going to permit any fight or verbal abuse. Please I beg of you to let peace reign over here. The way both of you have climaxed with anger and fury I will entreat you to please listen to my plea and behave like the beautiful ladies that you are.

Neighbour 2:

Don’t address me as a lady Mister because I am not one. Give me way to pump some sense into this silly girl’s head. Who does she think she is to disturb our peace here and later invite me to a fight? Please give me way so I teach her a very small lesson.

Neighbour:

I am sorry but I won’t allow you go anywhere near to fight her. Please go back to your suite. I believe you came to lodge in this hotel to relax yourself and have some peace of mind.

Neighbour 2:

You are very right Mister, so I won’t let any bitch speak to me anyhow after she disturbed us with her uncultured behaviour.

Julia:

Mister I believe you heard the silly words that came from her rotten mouth? She had the audacity, capacity, impudence, nerves and tenacity to call me a bitch. You are wearing this cheap designer dress to stand in front of me to open your mouth up and down like a fish that needs air to breath. If I were you like I would just walk back to the room I am lodging and concentrate on whatever mission I brought to this place.

The door the lady came out from opened and an elderly Whiteman came out.

Whiteman:

Sweetheart are you still here? Please hurry up and join me inside because I am in a rush to have a piece of you.

Julia:

Heheheeee…so who is the bitch now Madam Bruce Lee? See the kettle who was laughing at the pot for being black. Ah, so upon all the young and strong white men out there, you were only able to get yourself this old man? I doubt even if he can get an erection, heheheeeeeeee

Whiteman:

Sweetheart, who is this lady and why is she insulting me? What the hell is going on here? Someone should freaking f**king tell me something because I am losing my cool.

Neighbour 2:

(tries to attack Julia but the guy who has been with them all this while intercepted) Ooh leave me and let me teach this foolish girl a lesson. How dare her throw words at my man. Does she know what I am enjoying? Idiot, silly girl you will see what I will do to you here. Now my brother, leave me alone before you also incur my wrath. It’s her I have a problem with, so please stay out of it and walk away.

Neighbour:

I won’t heed to your request madam. Sir, would you please do me a favour and get your wife out of this place for me?

Whiteman:

She is not my dream wife young man. I asked a simple question and no one here saw it prudent to answer me, and you are here asking me to send her in. What nonsense! Hey I am inside the room. When you are done embarrassing yourself, you can join me in there…I didn’t subscribe to this nonsense. I thought you were educated and civilised, but look at the way you are embarrassing yourself in public (walks back into room)

Neighbour 2:

Oh baby, wait for me. It hasn’t gotten to this my love, please wait for me so we all go in there. (runs after the whiteman)

Julia:

So who is laughing last now madam boxer? And hey stand there and listen to my little advice. Don’t go and channel all your anger on that poor old man ooo you greedy, uncultured and uncivilized bitch.

Neighbour 2:

You are very lucky today. Just thank your stars for interceding on your behalf. I doubt if you will be that lucky next time. The battle line has just been drawn between the two of us.

Julia:

Oh shut up madam old man’s girlfriend. You heard him saying you are not his wife, and I even doubt if you are his mistress or perhaps you are his sex doll? My dear get a life and find for yourself a very strong and vibrant young man to ‘grease your machine’ well for you, because you are looking rusty as at now. I will request the song “SPONSOR by EBONY” for you tomorrow at the most listened to radio station. If you have drawn the battle line, then brace yourself for a fight anytime, anywhere and anyhow because I will beat the living hell out of you.

Neighbour:  

It’s okay madam, please allow sleeping dogs to lie. Ah the person who was sent to bring the master key is finally here. Hey what kept you that long?

Receptionist:

Sorry Sir, the elevator has just developed a fault so I had to use the staircase rather, and you know the floor you are on now. Ma’am I didn’t know it was your suite that had gotten the problem. I am sorry for any inconvenience caused.

Neighbour:

Hey do you know her?

Receptionist:

Of course Sir. She is the first woman to have lodged in the presidential suite of this hotel since its establishment. There you go, the door is opened ma’am. Will there be anything you want from me?

Julia:

Not at all my dear, but if something pops up I will let you know. Mmm wait and let me get something for you inside there.

Receptionist:

Oh ma’am that won’t be necessary. I only rendered a service I am being paid for, so don’t worry. If you call me ten times, I will come eleven times.

Julia:

Hahahaha you are such a funny guy, but I insist, so wait for me to get you something small.

Neighbour:

Mmmm now that the confirmation is in and your door is opened, I guess my job here is done, so let me go and check up on my little boy inside there.

Julia:

Oh forgive my manners; I was carried away with excitement as my door was opened for me. I am extremely tired and can’t wait to jump unto my bed. My name is Juliana Dotse and it was a pleasure meeting you. Thanks very much for everything you did for me; I really appreciate it so much, and I mean every word I am saying to you.

Neighbour:

I am also Kennedy Osei and you can call me Ken for short. I am glad my little effort yielded positive results. We shall meet some other time…enjoy the rest of your night.

Julia:

You too my dear and thanks again.

Julia enters her suite with a little anger in her as she speaks to herself:

Ah but does it mean Mickey has drunk himself to stupor that after all this heavy knocking he didn’t hear me? These are the kind of men who will sleep and their wives will run to another man’s room for ‘servicing’ and they will not hear it. He dare not sleep because we have an unfinished business to attend to. Hey where the heck is he? I can’t find him in the living room, neither is he in the bathroom nor the parlour or has he been captured by this man’s boys? This matter is getting a bit scary and nasty, so let me call the reception to find out if he is taking some fresh air down there or even gone to the poolside to enjoy the serenity of this great edifice.

On Phone:

Receptionist:

Hello good evening this is Kempinski Gold Coast Hotel, how may I help you please.

Julia:

Hello I am Julia, the lady lodging at the presidential suite.

Receptionist:

Hello ma’am would you like me to get anything for you?

Julia:

Oh nothing for now but let me ask, have you seen my boyfriend around the reception or poolside area? I mean the guy that was with me when some men came looking for me at the waiting area.

Receptionist:

Oh yes ma’am, you have now given me a clearer picture of him. Yes he came to pass here in a hurry as if he was pursuing something or something was pursuing him.

Julia:

Really?

Receptionist:

Yes ma’am is anything the matter? Should I call in the security?

Julia:

Oh everything is alright here, thanks for your fabulous concern. Enjoy your evening my dear.

Receptionist:

You too ma’am. (call ends)

Julia was left in a state of pandemonium as she felt she has been treated unfairly by Mike. She bit her lips and cursed Mike for taking an august leave without any proper reason or excuse. She planned to deal rigidly with Mike later for not attending to her emotional need. She lighted a cigarette and went in for a bottle of Jack Daniels whisky to cool her temper down.

 

Back at Quincy’s Room:

Michael Ansah:

Ouuuch please take it easy Herty, it’s very painful.

Quincy:

My friend, keep quiet and suffer. When you were posing as Gringo in Shatta Wale’s video what were you thinking? Are you the only one here having his forehead swollen like a torchlight?

Michael Ansah:

As the rain did, so will the sun also do. I will be here to watch how you will cope with yours when the time comes and I pray Herty becomes neutral and treats yours the same way she is dealing with mine. We shall see who will laugh last over here…awww you too take it easy on me la.

Henrietta Barnor:

Be quite Mike. If I wanted you to enjoy it, I know where to touch. Did I ask you to go throwing things at each other? I am done with you for now, so apply the ointment on it and get yourself some painkillers to prevent your head from aching. Now Quincy, it is your turn, so come and sit here so I can treat yours.

Michael Ansah:

(being sarcastic) Hmmmmm we shall all see who the real man is. When the salt was laughing at the shea butter when the sun was up shinning, little did it know that it will rain after the sun shines. Killer will die in the last part of the show so I am not bothered at all. We shall see who is who over here right now.

Quincy:

Herty please don’t listen to what my enemies are saying here. I know you are professional and you will not attach any sentiments to what you are about to do. Please be gentle and very neutral over here.

Henrietta Barnor:

Can you please shut up and let me do my job? You were running your mouth when I was dealing with Mike and now that it’s your turn, you are pleading for mercy and compassion?. The way I handled Mike’s own is the same way I am going to handle yours, so brace yourself because the journey might be very rough and tough.

Quincy:

Awww please take it easy with me ooo. The way you are pressing it looks like you have a problem with me. I saw how you were dealing with Mike’s own, but with me, you have deliberately decided to go hard on me, and this is not fair ooo.

Henrietta Barnor:

Be grateful for little mercies Quincy, ‘cos for yours I am even being gentle with you. In spite of that, you are here screaming like a young guy who has just encountered his first orgasm. One more word from you and I will go hard on you over here.

Michael Ansah: 

Hahahaha (obiaa wone master ampa) everyone has got his master indeed. Ebi you dey there, now run your mouth and let me see. What were you thinking when my forehead was being massaged? Were you thinking I was only screaming for fun? If you like say another word and your master will deal with you personally.

Quincy:

You devil please go behind me for I refuse to be tempted. I know Herty is going to be gentle with me and you will even feel jealous. Aaajei Herty, please be a little gentle with me or do you want me to believe that you are taking sides?

Henrietta Barnor:

To be honest with you Quincy, your forehead is twice bigger than Mike’s own, so if I try to be gentle with you, then it will be to your own detriment. Let your enemies get you today for a better tomorrow. I know what I am saying so please bear with me and endure the pain. Remember enemies are not God and they might laugh at you now but not your better tomorrow, so please let me do it the way it will favour you tomorrow.

Michael Ansah:

Hahahaha all this be lie, my brother. These are persuasive words, and she is saying all this to make you feel she is on your side. My baby girl, deal with him mercilessly and rigidly. I told him I will be the one to laugh last and he thought I was just kidding.

Henrietta Barnor:

I am done Quincy so please apply some of the ointment and take some painkillers also to ease down the pain. By tomorrow we will see some positive results. I wanted to check up on you guys and see how you were doing. I am confident you guys are very okay now and won’t throw things at each other again, so I am going back home as it is already late.

Quincy:

It’s late so why don’t you spend the night with us and leave early tomorrow morning my dear.

Michael Ansah:

You have just spoken my mind, my brother. My bae, listen to what my brother just said. Going home alone by this time is very dangerous and you know even getting a taxi from this place is another problem, so just spend the night with us.

Henrietta Barnor:

I didn’t inform my folks back home that I will be sleeping outside. I just told my mum that I was buying fried yam across the street and I ended up here. Let’s just get to the roadside first, and if after 30 minutes I don’t get a taxi, I will spend the night with you guys. And hey, are you now on the same side?

Michael Ansah:

See erh when you get to the parliament house, the minority and the majority are always not on the same side, but any time monetary issue is raised about their salaries and other emoluments, you see them at the same side, so don’t be surprised we are on the same side or am I lying my brother?.

Quincy:

You are very right my foolish brother, hehe. Three is a crowd, so start going to the roadside now to find a taxi for Herty for me. I know she won’t get one so in your absence, I will lay the bed so that when you come back from your fruitless search, you can sleep comfortably like the Queen that you are to us.

At the mansion of the Boss:

Maid:

You are welcome Sir. Please should I serve you your food now?

Boss:

Has my son eaten his food this evening?

Maid:

Erm I can’t tell Sir because I sent his food to him in his room and after that he has locked himself in his room all night long.

Boss:

Ginola the incompetent chairman, kindly summon my son for me right this very moment. I want to see how he is doing and spy on him as to whether he ate the food that he was served this evening. Hurry up on that Mister because it’s late already and I have to eat and take my medication right away.

Ginola:

I will do as instructed Boss.

Boss:

Scorpion where is the rest of the stuff we brought home?

Scorpion:

It’s in the car Boss.

Boss:

In the car doing what you idiot? Why do I pay you fools at all…you have left that expensive stuff in the car while I am here? What if someone breaks into the car and lays his hands on it? You people if you don’t man up, I will sack all of you and employ new guys to bodyguard me. Your services are no longer appealing to me and you are making me talk too much recently.

Ginola:

Boss after several knocks on Albert’s door, he said he will be with you soon.

Boss:

So why didn’t you wait for him so you come along with him? Get out of my sight right now, ’cos seeing you gives me the edge to throw up!.

Scorpion:

Boss I have brought the bag containing the stuff. Should I send it inside your bedroom?

Boss:

Keep it here at my side, I will send it inside myself when I am going upstairs. Now tell the chief maid to bring my food this very moment, because I am starving, and get me my whisky.

Albert:

Dad you are taking too much of this whisky. Don’t forget what the doctor told you the last time he came to run a check on you.

Boss:

Ah my beloved son is here finally. I was getting worried about seeing you locked up in your room like a new female bride who has been taken to her husband. Hey where is my food; the sight of my son alone has whipped up my appetite and I want to consume everything edible that is brought before me.

Scorpion:

Boss so I shouldn’t get you the whisky again?

Boss:

Ah do you know you are an embodiment of disappointment? You have a very nice way of pissing me off. Now go and get me my whisky before I descend heavily on you.

Albert:

But dad you promised to…..

Boss:

(cuts in) Stay out of this son, ‘cos some promises are made based on the condition or situation at hand. When the trap catches the prey it cries different, and when the prey gets its freedom, it also cries differently. For your sake, I will think about it or I will rather minimize the way I drink the whisky. You know you can’t stop something you are addicted to just once; it will take a while for me to stop consuming it.

Albert:

(frowns his face while talking) Daddy I don’t want to lose you anytime soon so please quit this whisky-drinking for your days to be prolonged on this earth for me.

Boss:

(laughing out loud) Hahahahahaha when you frown, your swollen mouth looks like the mother pig. This guy really gave you a beating of your life ooo…

Episode 85

 

Albert:

Daddy I hope you are not trying to find a way to join the list of my worse enemies? You know, this silly joke of yours could earn you a bullet in your head if you were not my dad, and losing you could be a big loss to me.

Boss:

Hey, that is a gentle way to threaten your dad you know.  I love the man you are growing up to be but honestly, that guy dealt with you mercilessly. If not for the fact that you are my son, and the fact that I have known you all my life, like I will mistake you for someone else my son.

Albert:

Can we please change the topic dad? I don’t find your jokes amusing, and it is only boiling my blood within my veins. Dad, I feel like strangling someone this very moment (he squeezes the banana he has in his hand)

Boss:

Easy my son; learn to control your temper before you channel it to the wrong person. Have the spies you appointed to get this guy surfaced with any information about him yet?

Albert:

Not yet dad. Their tactics and efforts to me are very slow and I want to do things my own way. I want to do the Rambo style techniques, but it’s because of you that is why I am taking things easy.

Boss:

It is good you know I am around that is why you are taking things easy. See, the police are on my tail right now concerning the death of that swine I gave visa to hell some few days ago. I have warned the boys not to engage themselves in anything bloody until I give them the clearance, and with that even, it must be in my presence.

Albert:

(hits his hand on the dining table) So does it mean that fool will go unpunished? Dad, will you sit down and watch some silly idiot disfigure the face of your only child and go scot-free?

Boss:

(gnashes his teeth as he talks with his hands balling into a fist) Never ever in your naive life raise your voice at me again son! You know no one plays with the lion’s child and goes scot free without facing the wrath of the lion himself. I am the king of the hoods and ghettos in Africa. When I talk; it becomes law, when I sneeze it breeds trouble, and when I snap a finger heads start rolling!. See, the slow movement of the lion is not a sign of cowardice, but rather they are tailored and calculated moves to grab its prey. The man you are seeing seated next to you is worth billions in the field of havoc, commotion and inflicting pains to mankind. If Iddi Amin is wicked than me, then it was because he was a dictator and he chewed snakes. If Adolf Hitler was meaner than me, then it’s because he was in the army and brought war to the world. If Osama Bin Laden was wicked than me, then it was because of the plane he bombed on 9/11 in the United States! See, my small head is worth over 5000 terabytes of wickedness. The hunter doesn’t discuss things that go on in the forest, but I want you to be rest assured that so far as I am your dad, and I am still counted among the living, the Controller of the drug Game in Accra, the Provost of drug Cartel in Ghana, the Admiral of drug Conglomerate in West Africa and the Field Marshal of drug business in Africa, I will fish that guy out in no time. Does the golden fish have a place to hide in a fish pond?

Albert:

No dad, there is no hiding place for a golden fish in a fish pond.

Boss:

Good, so watch my steps and follow carefully because, some places I step might be very slippery. My enemies always fall when they try to walk on the path I thread, but you being my son, I will show you the codes and secrets to overcome those barriers. Join me to take my food, for there are a lot of things for us to catch up with. There are some of my businesses and deals that I will like you to spearhead in the coming days, and I pray you don’t disappoint me because they are worth thousands of dollars.

Albert:

Disappoint you? Then your blood doesn’t flow in my veins or I am not your biological son. I am poised for any task or mission you delegate me to do daddy. I am giving you my word and I promise to make you proud of me daddy.

Boss:

I am happy to hear that my son. It’s because of you that is why I am worrying myself this way. This business empire I am building will be yours soon, so I want you to learn everything about this business at an accelerated speed because my competitors are trailing me with a twin-turbo engine.

At the Roadside:

Michael Ansah:

My dear why don’t you spend the night here? It’s already late and going home alone isn’t safe. You know how dangerous the world is now Herty, and you being a lady make you very vulnerable to any form of attack easily.

Henrietta Barnor:  

I am going to be okay my dear, you worry yourself for nothing. The important thing is for me to get a car home. My younger sister will be by the gate to open the door for me the moment I get home. If after 30 minutes I don’t get a car, I will give in to your demand and spend the night with you guys. Hope you will play the role of a good host?

Michael Ansah:

Of course Herty, be rest assured that the bed is going to be given to you to sleep peacefully and no funny movements will take place. You know first impression matters a lot.

Henrietta Barnor:

I know you guys are too gentle and civilized, so you won’t try anything silly, but my greatest concern is at dawn. I once went to sleep in my younger brother’s room and how they fired missiles at me at dawn erh. If I hadn’t run back to my room, like I will die from inhaling toxic waste into my lungs.

Michael Ansah:  

Hahahaha, oh I now get your point and worry clearly. You are afraid of the farts you might receive from us at dawn, right? Well, I can’t promise you a missile-free night, as sometimes the rockets launch automatically even when we are not aware with the involuntary action, but I believe we will try and comport ourselves seeing your presence in the room.

Henrietta Barnor:  

Hahahaha talking about the involuntary action, my elder sister’s baby once release a very loud and heavy missile that got her crying after the sound came out from her. That night the whole house laughed about the incident that my dad nearly choked to death. It’s one of the funniest days that I won’t forget ever in my life.

Michael Ansah:

I guess your little girl got scared with the sound that came out of her. Hey looking at the time, the 30 minutes you requested for is about to elapse and there is no sign of a taxi coming our way. I am afraid you will have to spend the night with us.

Henrietta Barnor:

(feeling bad and disappointed but sees a car light from the far end) Hey look at that side, there is a car coming and I believe it’s a taxi. Please let’s wait for it to pass first, and if it is a taxi and it’s empty I will go with it, but if not, then I am going to spend the night with you guys. Hope you are okay with the deal I am bringing on-board.

Michael Ansah:

Do I have a choice? Let’s wait and see the outcome of the approaching vehicle.

After some time of waiting for the approaching vehicle, the vehicle turns out to be that of Henrietta’s taxi.

Henrietta Barnor:

Adamu, what are you still doing around this place?

Adamu:

Madam as I dropped my boss here earlier on, I decided to go and turn the car at the extreme end but the car started jerking so I got down to service it and the moment I got it fixed this lady hired me to drop her in town.

Henrietta Barnor:

For you to be driving at this time of the day is even a mystery to me Adamu. I have told you on several occasions that, let only a professional mechanic touch my car when it’s at fault so why didn’t you park the car when it was jerking or whatever you claim?

Lady:

My love who is this woman and why is she asking you so many questions?

Adamu:

Fatima shut that thing you call your mouth up, and keep quiet before you incur my wrath. You demand and enjoy more than my wives even do and now you want to destroy my source of livelihood.

Lady:

That is why I am fighting on your behalf. I won’t let any lady intimidate you with any big grammar over here.

Adamu:

Fatima if you don’t shut your mouth erh, I will slap you for you to see stars in your eyes. Do you know who you are referring to that way? Do you want me to lose my job? If you were sent to come and destroy me, go and tell them that you couldn’t locate me.

Lady:

Lose your job? How can you lose your job when you told me that this car is yours when you started chasing after me? I don’t get something here ooo.

Adamu:  

Eeeeiiii are you still talking with this loud mouth of yours. Can’t you just keep your mouth shut for a minute. If I lose my job erh you will see the other side of me.

Henrietta Barnor:  

Adamu who is lady and don’t try lying to me either because if you do, that will be the end for you?

Adamu:

Madam, please don’t listen to the rubbish coming out from her dustbin. I want to marry her very soon but with this kind of attitude that she is displaying, I will have to think twice before hanging this rope on my neck.

Michael Ansah:  

Coach Adamu I hail you ooo.  See, I have trust in you that you can coach Black Stars team diligently. Your formation and tactics is very tight and wicked, you are the kind of person who will make Pep or Jose change their style of play just after 2minutes of facing you on the field with your team. You be guy rough.

Adamu:

Boss this your fans dier you are giving it at a very wrong time paaa ooo, but all the same, madam please where are you going?

Henrietta Barnor:

I am going to my house and as you can see, I want a taxi to board home.

Adamu:

Ah, then please sit down so I drop you home right now.

Michael Ansah:

Ah coach, what happens to your future wife now? You said something earlier on when your madam asked you the first question.

Adamu:  

Oh that one? She lives down the road and I believe she can locate her way back home. Fatima please get down now, I want to go and drop my madam home as you can see.

Michael Ansah:

Coach Adamu you know that is not fair. At least, you can let her get down from the car politely.

Fatima:

(squeezes her face as she gets down) Please Sir don’t worry at all, I know where to get him. You will come to my house and beg me to come and sit in your wretched taxi again and you will see what I will do to you. As a matter of fact, don’t even come to my house again looking for me. It is over between the two of us and I mean every single word coming out of my mouth. I don’t know what a pretty girl like me will be doing with an ancient man like you even. Whatever spell you cast on me has been broken in Allah’s name.

Adamu:

Allah nagode (thank you Allah). When the monkey decides to quarrel with you, isn’t it your banana that becomes free? Ever since I started chasing you, what positive thing have you brought into my life except debt. Every weekend you make me buy you cloth for one ‘awure’ to another (Islamic marriage), have you ever requested for me to bring my clothes for you to even wash before? The only language your ears and palms understand is money; meanwhile you are living in a single room with your parent and four siblings. You know what, as you have left my life, please go and sin no more. Your demanding attitude that is being taken away from me is even a big relief. Ever since I met you, how many times have you made me travel to see ‘your Mecca’? Don’t you always give me excuses?

Fatima:

You think I am a fool erh. I should be giving you permission to be travelling to my Mecca by heart when I am not your wife. Do you know how many men have been in that long queue until you surfaced? If I was giving people the chance just like that, like I don’t think you will come and even see a glimpse of it.

Adamu:

 Thank you very much, Fatima. You have lightened me of my burden. The fool is considered wise when he learns to keep his mouth shut. Madam please let me take you home quietly before I end up beating this foolish girl up.

Fatima:

You know I was a foolish girl and you were chasing after me like a dog? You think I don’t know the number of wives and the football team you have as children? Don’t bring yourself or else I will dry-clean you here right now. Was it because I was considering and entertaining you? If you look at yourself, am I your kind of woman? Massa check and evaluate yourself next time before you approach a young pretty succulent girl like me. Mtchewwwwww!

Henrietta Barnor:

Adamu you have a very long presentation to do for me. She just mentioned wives and a football team you have. I expect you to open up to me on everything concerning you and your life because I feel I don’t even know you at well.

Adamu:

(gets down from the car to throw an insult at Fatima) Herh this girl paaaa, you have degraded me. Your small legs like khebab sticks! Fucking girl, hooooo bleaching body girl. I knew you to be dark when I started chasing after you, but now see you. Housing girl like you, fanta face with coca cola body girl.

Henrietta Barnor:

Adamu will you sit down and drive me home quietly. Do you now want to create a scene here?

Adamu:

Sorry Madam, but I had to tell that ‘yawa’ girl my peace of mind.

Michael Ansah:

Coach it’s okay, be a man a swallow your pain. Next time, you will know where to ply your trade.  Please drive my lady home safely and don’t do anything silly out of anger. My dear, please call me when you get home.

Henrietta Barnor:

I have heard you but you also have an explanation to give when I get home. (the taxi moves away and Mike walks back to Quincy’s room laughing at what just happened in front of him)

Quincy’s Room:

Quincy:

You have kept long ooo, I believe she got a car before you came back? Where was the noise also coming from?

Michael Ansah:  

Hmmmmm please let me find somewhere to put my tired body. I have seen and encountered so many things today. I thought I had seen it all, until I got to Accra some few days ago. I will tell you everything tomorrow God willing. Goodnight my brother.

Quincy:

Rest well my brother…we shall meet tomorrow.

Henrietta Barnor’s House:

Henrietta Barnor:  

Adamu, so all this while you have been deceiving me? I don’t think I can work with you again, please give me the car key and come for your three months salary tomorrow.

Adamu:

Oh Madam, please don’t do this to me. If you take the car key from me, it means I and my big family will starve to death. Please don’t allow the anger in you to outshine the lovely person that you are, I beg you madam. If you take this car from me, you will only hear of an announcement of the tragic death of a large family. Please my God sent madam, kindly reconsider your decision because my life and others lie in your hand.

Henrietta Barnor:

You give me the key, and I will think about it. You may come back for an answer in 3 days time. Lock the doors of my car for me. A car which is barely a year now looks like it’s five years old already. Do unto others what you want them to do unto you.

To be continued…………………………………………………………………………………………………………#Yeb3toaso

Edited By:

Nana Amoah

THE COFFIN MAKER

THE AUTHOR

I am Akoto Adjei Alexander, a Christian. A product of Abetifi Presbyterian Senior High School, Abetifi-Kwahu. I am in my late 20’s and the last born of the boys my parent brought to earth. I am a fiction/scriptwriter who loves to write about nature and the realities of life. Furthermore, I do a little of Graphics Design, I do MC’ing of events somethings, a Motivational Speaker and a Relationship Talk Expert. 

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