Password
AARON ANSAH-AGYEMAN
PASSWORD
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The Author
Trembling, Kofi takes out his phone and dials Ato’s number.
It rings several times.
He keeps on calling until it is finally picked.
ATO
(drowsily)
Hey, what the fuck, man! Do you know the time?
KOFI
(tremulously)
She put a password on my dick, Ato.
There is a shocked intake of breath from the other end.
ATO
What? What did you just say?
KOFI
The Indian chick, Sajili. The one I told you about. The IT classmate.
ATO
(confused)
Did you say password on your penis?
KOFI
Yes, yes, my paddy. She put a password on my penis, and now I can’t get an erection unless she inputs the password.
ATO
(furiously)
You call me three in the morning to tell me there’s a password on your penis? Wetin dey wrong you, Kofi? At this time that normal people are sleeping, you’re walking around with Indians and saying you have a password on your dick! Nonsense!
He cuts the call.
Kofi calls again.
Ato’s phone is off.
And Kofi Kuntu bends his head and for the first time in many years his shoulders shake uncontrollably with the depths of his tears.
Season 1 Episode 13: Tongue Service
Kofi drives home and takes a very long shower.
He presses his clothes and gets dressed because he cannot sleep.
He is so stressed up, and he feels so lonely.
He walks to his living-room and slots in his favourite porn movie.
It is titled SLUTS AND THEIR HUGE TOYS 12.
He has all the collection from one to twelve.
It features solo masturbation scenes with well-endowed women.
He sits in the chair and watches for almost forty minutes, shutting out his mind completely and concentrating on the big-breasted and huge-assed porn stars doing incredible things with massive dildos.
Normally he gets an erection within the first five minutes of watching it. Just the sight of one of them getting out of their clothes is usually enough to make his lavde angry.
But that dawn he sits through forty minutes, and he feels nothing.
He unzips his fly and drags out his olidade ahunuabobrim from his boxers.
It looks up sadly at him like some old mouse poking its head out of a hole.
It looks so miserable.
KOFI
(in a trembling voice)
This is just psychological. Kai, bullshit things! Whoever heard of a password on a dick?
He continues to watch the video whilst massaging his langalanga, but still nothing!
No power.
No voltage.
No anger.
He stands up and beats his bula matari faster, concentrating on the porno movie which is now showing the antics of a curvy latino with super ass and paradise breasts who has fixed the dildo on the floor and is squatting over it, trying to impale that giant phallus all up inside her, presenting a back view that he finds absolutely arousing.
But…
Nothing!
Tears comes to Kuntu’s eyes.
He looks down at his oluman sakora and pulls it hard.
KOFI
(tremulously)
Wake up, bula, wake up! Come up! Don’t let that Indian witch kill you, aboa bula!
Just then his phone rings.
It is the special tone for Akweley.
The phone is on the leather seat, and he picks it up and puts it to his ear as he pauses the movie.
AKWELEY
(softly)
Hello, my love.
KOFI
(weeping)
Oh, Akwe! Oh, my love! I miss you so much!
AKWELEY
But where did you go to last night? I was expecting you at the hospital but you didn’t show up! I was hurting so much and I needed you by my side terribly!!
KOFI
You father wouldn’t let me! He drove me out of the house with a gun and warned me not to come near you again. He even sacked me from my job.
AKWELEY
It’s alright, my love. You know his bark is always more powerful than his bite. He was just angry. He’s okay now. I begged him on your behalf and he has agreed to give you a second chance, my love.
KOFI
But how are you, my love, my precious angel?
AKWELEY
I’m fine, love. Just that I miss you.
KOFI
Is your biiiiiiig mouth gone? Oh, sorry, love! It came out wrong. I didn’t mean it to sound like that.
AKWELEY
(tenderly)
That’s okay, sweetheart. I’m okay now. What about you? Is the pain gone now?
KOFI
Yes, yes, it is gone.
AKWELEY
Then come over right now, love. I miss you so much. I want to see you.
KOFI
What? Now?
AKWELEY
Yes! Now!
KOFI
But your father!
AKWELEY
He’s left already, love. Some partners he has to meet and some deals he has to close! You can come over and kiss me and still get to the office early.
KOFI
(excited)
Alright, sweet honey, sweet abodoo, I’m on my way, my only Princess!
AKWELEY
Hurry, Stallion! I can’t wait for your sweet-
KOFI
Klonka!
He has spoken without even realizing he is speaking.
He sighs with sudden apprehension.
AKWELEY
What? What did you say?
KOFI
I said creamy, love. I’m coming over right now!
He cuts the call and stands for a moment.
He looks down as his police abaa which is still out of his boxers and speaks.
KOFI
Adweaaa! You don’t want any porno pussy, right? Well, guess what, I’m going to give you the best flesh in the business. Akweley is going to sit on you and bounce, so you better get up from your stupidity and get hard, kweku donsuro!
He quickly locks up and runs to his car.
He speeds through the empty streets towards his love!
When he opens Akweley’s door she is lying on the bed wearing only the tiniest G-string.
Kofi Kuntu swallows with the rush of love and desire that rushes through him.
He enters slowly and closes the door.
He walks to the bed and stands looking down at her.
She smiles seductively and slowly opens her legs, showing him a sight that makes his head pain him with instant lust.
His knees go weak, and he looks from the tip of her toes to the amazing pair of breasts on her chest.
AKWELEY
(huskily)
Get out of your clothes, K. K. Right now.
Like a magician waving a wand Kofi shirks his clothes in a blink of an eye, and then joins her on the huge bed.
He kisses her fiercely, passionately, hungrily.
She shivers as his tongue scorches a trail down her throat.
She moans deep in her throat, her fingers raking down his shoulders like talons.
His lips are searing orbs of fire on her nipples, which are engorged and vibrating. His hand creeps gently up her inner thighs, caressing her gently until he comes to the juncture of her thighs.
His fingers dive under her, playing a sweet kind of music on her central station.
She is bucking now, her eyes glazed.
His lips descend down her belly as he grasps her G-string and peel it down her long, smooth legs.
He is kissing her navel now, and then his lips hover over her wet, warm, dripping muff.
His tongue flicks over her clit.
She moans and loses control as if a category hundred tsunami has blasted through her.
As Kofi’s lips move over her chut, licking and bringing her higher and higher, his left hand goes down to his own shaft, and tears fall from his eyes and mingle with her meat as he feels his soft flabby lavde.
No power.
No fire.
No erection.
He works like a machine now, aware that he needs Sajili’s password to get an erection. There is simply no way he is going to be able to make love to his own fiancé, the girl he is going to marry in a month.
Indeed, Sajili India has ruined him!
AKWELEY
(moaning)
Oh, Kofi… aaash! Mmmm, mmm, mmmm! Assh… aaaaah, aaaaah, aaaah! Please, come up and make love to me… aaaaash! Kofi, if you don’t come up now I’ll explode and you’ll be left hanging… come now! I need you inside me now, love! Ooooooooh……
She is holding Kofi’s head, trying to pull him up.
But Kofi has no erection, and he is scared.
She pulls him hard, but he is stuck like a mountain, absolutely unmovable!
He knows he cannot let Akweley find out what is going on. He has to find a solution fast before his marriage.
He believes now.
Sajili, indeed, has succeeded in rendering him impotent with all girls apart from herself.
How can that be possible, oh Lord? What has he let himself into?
Season 1 Episode 14: A Man’s Tears
What evil is this?
What witchcraft is this?
Oh, dear Lord!
His tears fall faster as his lips laps down at Akweley.
This is all he can do now: lick the cunts of girls!
He is useless now!
He cannot do anything!
KOFI
(sniffing)
I can only lick! Oh, Awurade! I can only use my tongue on a vagi-vagi!! I can’t fire! I can’t hammer….oooooooh, Awuradeeeeiiii!!
AKWELEY
(moaning)
Whaaaat? Whaaaaaat did you aaasssh mmmm, mmm, saaaaaay?
Her thighs curl around Kofi’s head in her orgasmic explosion, suffocating Kofi.
He holds Akweley’s thighs and tries to pry them apart as they tighten dangerously around his head.
KOFI
Heeerh Akweley, Akweley! Release my head, release my neck right now! Akweley, you’re killing me, release my head!
She can’t hear him.
She is exploding and squeezing him beyond his endurance.
He stands up, almost lifting her off the bed, and pushes her off his neck.
She plods back on the bed still bucking with pleasure, her eyes squeezed shut tightly.
Kofi takes the opportunity to fly into his boxers and trousers.
Her scent is all over his nose and lips, and he walks into the bathroom and washes his mouth and face.
He washes the tears from his eyes.
He stares at his reflection in the mirror and shakes his head with a heavy heart and dries his face.
When he enters the bedroom she is still in bed, looking at him with dazed eyes, her face flushed with the magic of what had happened to her.
AKWELEY
You’re getting dressed?
He smiles sadly.
KOFI
Yes, love. Gotta rush to the office. Your pops is angry with me. Wanna be in the office on time.
AKWELEY
Oh, come on, love! He would be passing through other places before going to the office, I told you. I don’t want you to have blue balls. You gave me a most incredible and powerful orgasm. Come and let me repay you.
KOFI
No, no, my love. Perhaps another time. We just have a month to the wedding and I don’t want to infuriate your father further. Maybe he might pass through the office before going to wherever he plans to go.
AKWELEY
(smiling)
Ei, Kofi Kuntu saying no to atopa? Wonders will never end! Don’t worry, love. My father can never sack you as long as I love you. Come, baby. Let me give you one powerful round! I’ll give you your favourite, the Cobra Strike! Come, la, my lion!
KOFI
I’ll see you after work then, my love!
She pouts with feigned anger as he quickly puts on his shirt.
He heads towards the door.
AKWELEY
(crossly)
Kofi Kuntu! Don’t you dare! Don’t I even get a kiss and a goodbye hug?
He smiles and blows her a kiss.
KOFI
The way I’m feeling, if I kiss you I can’t stop myself from ripping you apart like a lion. I’ll klonk you bad!
AKWELEY
(laughing)
Klonk? What kind of word is that one too?
He laughs and quickly goes out and runs to his car.
Oh, Lord!
He is even speaking like that damn Sajili!
Klonk?
Has he actually used klonk?
As he drives away he fights down his tears unsuccessfully.
KOFI
Oh, Saj! You wicked demon!
When Kofi enters the office, Ato is already taking his breakfast in the small inner living-area.
Kofi walks in and flops into a chair.
Ato, dressed in a dark-blue suit with sky-blue shirt, puts down his teacup and looks at Kofi with sudden surprise.
ATO
Hey! You look like shit!
KOFI
(softly)
You fucking asshole! Yesty I called you and you cut me off and switched off your damn phone!
ATO
(grinning)
Sorry, rasta! My anus was paining me something fierce!
KOFI
(shocked)
Your anus?
ATO
Yep. My anus. I’ve got piles, man. Bad piles! Kooko! Comes and goes, and it makes shitting a real horror movie when those piles rear their ugly heads. I was just from the can, bro, and my piles were killing me, and then you called with some shitty news that some Indian chick put a password on your prick.
Kofi leans forward and stares at Ato balefully, his fear drawing a picture on his face.
KOFI
What told you I was shitting you? Sajili put a damn password on my dick!
Ato doesn’t appear to hear.
He puts a piece of toasted bread in his mouth and looks at his phone.
ATO
I found the girl I want to marry, bro. Beautiful fresh meat called Maa Abena Nyantie. Beautiful girl, nurse, sweet like mwaaaah! She’s in a WhatsApp group with me, you know, the GOLGOTHA CHURCH YOUTH GROUP. Look at her! Such a beauty!
Ato leans forward and shows the photo on his phone to Kofi.
Kofi takes the phone and looks at the profile picture of the girl who has gotten Ato so smitten.
The picture is just the right eye of a woman, judging by the shape of the eyebrow.
But it is just an eye.
The right eye of a woman.
It is a lovely eye in a way, penetrating and filled with some kind of amusing secret, an eye that seems to stare right through Kofi.
A warm eye.
An eye that seems to be staring right through him, seeking out his soul.
KOFI
It is an eye.
ATO
What do you mean it is an eye?
KOFI
(giving the phone back)
You’re going to marry an eye?
ATO
Fuck you, man! That’s Maa Abena Nyantie. A girl on a platform I share. A sweet, beautiful nurse who-
KOFI
Yeah, yeah, you told me, but this is an eye!
ATO
It’s Maa Abena’s eye, fool.
KOFI
And you’ve seen more than her eye?
ATO
(softly)
Nope. I asked her to send me a full facial pic but she just sent lol. But she intrigues me, man. I look at that eye and something goes through me viiiiim!
KOFI
You craze pass. You see a lady’s eye and suddenly she is the girl of your dreams? You just want to klonk her, that’s all.
ATO
(puzzled)
I want to what?
And that is when Kofi begins to cry.
His shoulders shake and tears fall down his face and he looks absolutely shattered.
Ato stares at him with his lips open wide.
KOFI
Oh, God… buuubuuubuu, hiiihiiihii, bubububbubb!
Ato Sey cranes his head and looks at Kofi with stunned indignation.
ATO
Hey! Are you trying to make a fool of me? What the hell is going on? Are you really crying or you’re just pulling some prank on me?
KOFI
Hiihhiiii… Oh, Loooorrrd! My penis! My bula matari! Saji put a curse on my penis! She cursed my penini! She passworded it!
Season 1 Episode 15: The Elucidation of Ato Sey
Ato stands up and slowly approaches Kofi.
Slowly he drops to one knee and tentatively reaches out and touches Kofi’s face.
It is only when he ascertains that indeed Kofi is crying for real, that Ato’s face softens and he breathes with horror.
ATO
Awurade Nyankopon! Are you going mad, Kofi? You’re really crying! What’s wrong with you, Bro?
Kofi Kuntu shakes his head and then, haltingly, he begins to narrate everything that happened to him since he rubbed the Jamaican Stone solution on his dick.
Ato’s eyes grow bigger and bigger with horror by the second, searching Kofi’s face as if to find out some other hidden truth.
Kofi runs a trembling hand through his hair and then uses his handkerchief to clean his face.
KOFI
So that’s it, bro. My future is screwed up. I either marry this Indian chick, or I become impotent for life. I can’t even marry Akweley because I’m now useless to her as a man!
ATO
Boshit! It is psychological, bro. She has messed up with your mind using a mixture of hypnotism and some witchcraft. It has given you performance anxiety of the worst kind. All of us get light offs once in a while.
KOFI
No, it’s not psychological, man! Even with Sajili I only get an erection when she does the damn password thing.
ATO
Boshit! Listen, this can be cured fast, bro. Today I’ll take you to ashawo line. You get roaring drunk, and then you’ll be with one or two sluts, and bingo, you’ll fire away! You only need to enter one hole, and your mind will be reset forever!
KOFI
(whimpering)
It won’t work. You don’t understand, man, Saji has finished me!
ATO
(harshly)
Stop your boshit, man! I’m gonna cure you fast! Now forget about everything. Take some breakfast and let’s get some work done. And then, in the evening, we’ll find a cure for you.
And it is evening now.
First Ato had taken Kofi to his own apartment, which is on the fifth floor of a six-floor building.
He had tried to get Kofi to relax by making him eat some Chinese food they had bought, beef noodles, Kofi’s favourite.
And then he made sure Kofi was very drunk. He then forced him to swallow one Viagra pill.
He then left Kofi in the bedroom, drunk and horny, and drove out.
He returned about an hour later with a beautiful prostitute whom he told to make love to Kofi, but told her he would be watching.
PROSTITUTE
What? You want to watch me fuck your friend?
ATO
Well, not completely. Just want to see if he gets an erection, and then I’ll leave you to it.
She shrugs as she steps out of her dress and takes off her bra and panties.
PROSTITUTE
Whatever you want, dude. But remember, it’ll cost you extra for this voyeur shit!
Ato watches as Kofi giggles and takes off his boxers.
KOFI
(drunkenly)
I’m gonna klonk you! I’m gonna klonk you hard and bad and klonkier! Hihiihihiihi!!
He is naked, and he grabs the prostitute.
And for the next forty minutes the prostitute does all she can, but Kofi remains flaccid…
No power!
No erection!
Dead engine room!
The girl finally pushes Kofi away and stands up.
Kofi curls up on the bed in the foetal position and begins to weep heart-breakingly.
The girl looks at him without expression, and then she quirks an eyebrow at Ato.
PROSTITUTE
So? This guy is very cute, most handsome guy I’ve probably ever seen, but he’s useless. That dick is impotent. You wanna fuck me?
Ato shakes his head numbly as he takes out his wallet and peels off money to the girl.
She counts the money and narrows her eyes.
ATO
What?
PROSTITUTE
If you’re not going to drop me off you better add my taxi charter money to it. A hundred Ghana cedis.
ATO
(angrily)
Hundred Ghana? Are you going to charter a submarine?
And that is when the prostitute screams like Bruce Lee and delivers two quick chops to Ato’s head with her left fist.
Ato screams with pain as the blows send him toppling backward.
Kofi screams with sudden insane laughter and points a finger at Ato’s bleeding nose.
KOFI
She kunfued you…hahahahahahaaa! The whore kunfued your fucking face!!
The prostitute reaches for Ato’s wallet and takes out an extra one hundred and fifty Ghana Cedis, and then throws the wallet at Ato.
ATO
You fucking thief!
PROSTITUTE
You’re right about the ‘fucking’ part, but you’re gonna pay for the ‘thief’ part! Hiyaaaa!
She spins and her right foot crashes into Ato’s head.
KOFI
(coughing with laughter)
She Vandammed you! She did a turning-kick and Vandammed your fucking head!
The girl gathers her things and walks out of the bedroom naked.
Ato sits up holding his aching head, and glares at his friend.
He is not surprised when Kofi suddenly breaks into tears.
ATO
You cut that shit out now!
KOFI
You see how my bula didn’t even twitch? That’s proof number one! Now, let’s go to Sajili’s house now! I’ll give you proof number two!
ATO
C’mon man! It’s all in your fucking head! You need a shrink, man, to set your brain straight!
KOFI
(screaming)
Fuck you! Fuck you! There’s nothing wrong with my head! Come with me! I’ll show you Indian witchcraft, you bastard!
And so, at around 10 p.m. that night, Ato and Kofi get into Ato’s car and drive all the way to the ATIEMO ESTATES.
Ato stays in the backseat as Kofi has instructed him.
He knows that the door will be left unlocked.
Sajili opens the door for Kofi, and soon he vanishes into the room.
Ato waits for ten minutes as he had agreed with Kofi.
He gets out of the car and walks quickly to the door which Kofi had unlocked after Sajili locked it, opens it, and enters a most luxurious-looking living-area.
He finds the bedroom door open, and he lies flat on his stomach.
He crawls flat towards the open bedroom door, which Kofi has left open intentionally.
The light is on too, illuminating the bed.
Ato comes inside, still flat on his stomach, and then he raises himself up to his knees and looks on the bed.
Both Kofi and the Indian girl are naked, and Ato gets an instant erection when he sees how beautiful and curvaceous Sajili is.
His erection begins to dwindle suddenly when he sees what Sajili Prakash is doing to his friend.
She whispers some words and then pulls Kofi’s penis.
There are more words, and then she pulls Kofi’s left testicle.
Next she holds Kofi’s penis and turns it anti-clockwise twice.
Suddenly she turns Kofi over, murmurs some words, and then slaps his buttocks very hard, twice, and when she finally turns him over, Kofi’s penis is erect, hard and big.
Sajili rises herself above Kofi and settles herself unto his erection with a contented moan.
She rides him, screaming with delight.
SAJILI
Oh, yes, yes, yes! I love your penis! It is only for me! Me only! My penis! My sweet penis! Only for me! Only for me! Enjoy it, Kofi! Enjoy it! This is the only pussy for you! Klonk me! Klonk me! Oh, Kofi darling, klonk me haaaaaard! My penis! My Peniiiiiiiiiiiis!!
She is enjoying herself, but Kofi turns his face towards the door, and Ato sees that Kofi is weeping silently!
It brings tears to Ato’s eyes to see his friend weeping whilst he is deep inside that witch.
How on earth can a person make love and cry at the same time?
Ato crawls back slowly to the living-room, gets up, and rushes out to the car.
ATO
(shocked)
My God! Kofi is right! That witch has put a password on his penis!
Season 1 Episode 16: Roping In The Police
Ato lies in the backseat for about an hour, and then Kofi appears.
Sajili kisses him in the doorway, and then goes back inside.
Kofi enters the car and drives out.
It is almost 2:00 a.m.
Kofi stops the car when they are well clear of the estate, puts his forehead on the steering-wheel, and begins to shiver uncontrollably.
Ato comes out of the backseat and sits by his friend.
KOFI
You saw it, didn’t you?
ATO
(stunned)
I saw it, bro. This is pure witchcraft! Let’s go to the police station. My brother is a policeman! Let’s go! They’ll arrest that witch and force her to withdraw that damn password!!
KOFI
You s-sure?
ATO
Look, let me drive! We’re bringing the police in first thing in the morning! This nonsense must stop right now!
There is a police station quite near their workplace.
At break time later that day Kuntu and Ato go to the police station to lodge a formal complaint.
Ato’s brother has directed them to a Sergeant Abbiw at the station.
Sergeant Abbiw is a jovial, florid-faced man who is on his way out on another assignment, so he takes them into an inner office of the police station and leaves them with another Sergeant called Setorworfia to help them.
SERGEANT SETORWORFIA is tall, dark and serious-faced.
He listens patiently to them, and then he stands up and goes outside without a word.
He returns a few minutes later with two pens and sheets of ruled paper.
SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
(gently)
Listen, guys, you better write down your statements. We’ll take it from there.
Kuntu looks anxiously at him with very troubled eyes.
KOFI
We have a tight case, right?
The policeman looks upwards for a bit, and then he looks at Kofi and smiles.
SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
You have an airtight case, bro. Don’t worry a bit. We’ll set you free soon.
Tears almost glitter in Kofi’s eyes with profound relief.
KOFI
Thank you, thank you very much, bro.
Setorworfia leaves them, and Ato smiles reassuringly at Kofi and pats him on the shoulder.
ATO
Come on, Kofi. Write everything down. We’ll give that Indian witch hell, I tell you!
For the next thirty minutes Kuntu puts down everything that has happened since he received the Jamaican Stone from Ato.
Sergeant Setorworfia comes in and takes their statements, and then he leaves quickly.
Ten minutes later he pokes his head inside and speaks in a rush.
SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
(gruffly)
Come with me, guys.
Kofi stands up warily and looks at Ato with some discomfort.
KOFI
It seems that policeman is trying hard not to laugh, Ato.
Ato nods and licks his lips nervously.
ATO
Yeah, yeah! I got the same impression, man. His cheeks were kinda shaking gbrada gbrada each time he came inside, and his eyes were very red as if he was laughing inside his chest… you know, like he is really trying hard not to let us see he’s laughing!
They follow Sergeant Setorworfia to the main reception area. There are other police personnel here, men and women, and all of them are striving to keep a straight face.
One of the ladies, a beautiful black beauty, puts down her phone and looks at them.
POLICE BEAUTY
So which of them is the Kofi Kuntu?
The moment she speaks all the police personnel burst into uncontrollable raucous laughter, making Kuntu and Ato look at each other with acute discomfiture.
It is now quite evident to them that their case has become a sort of jest and fun for the police.
Ato, chagrined, turns on Sergeant Setorworfia with some venom in his voice and on his face.
ATO
(angrily)
Look here, what’s the meaning of this, huh? We brought our case to you and you made it a public comedy of a thousand laughter?
Setorworfia, who is leaning against the wall and laughing very hard whilst holding his stomach, now straightens with something like shame on his face.
He shakes his head slowly and wipes tears of mirth from his eyes.
SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
Sorry, guys, but you must admit the whole incident is hilarious! You guys really didn’t mean any of it, did you?
There is a fresh bout of laughter, in the room.
Kofi feels the helpless pain crushing his soul.
Still, he notices that there is a corporal sitting behind the counter who is looking on without so much as a twitch to his face. Indeed, he looks almost angry.
He is wearing his cap rigidly, and his face is a map of tribal scars. His eyes flit from Kofi to Ato, and finally settles coldly on Kofi.
ATO
(furiously)
Damn sure we mean it! You have to arrest the Indian witch!
This sets them off again into peals of uncontrolled laughter.
Setorworfia waves their statements in the air and shakes his head as his mirth slowly peters out.
SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
(patronizingly)
Listen, my friends. I was ordered by my Commandant to arrest the two of you, initially, but because Ato’s brother is a policeman, we will let you go.
KOFI
(indignantly)
Arrest us? Arrest us, you say? For what? Why? I have a case and-
SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
(harshly)
You have no case, my brother! No case at all! This is not a criminal case. We don’t deal in ghost and juju and spiritual things. On what charge are we going to arrest this Indian woman? And how are we going to prove that she made you impotent? When the case goes to court are you going to let her pull your penis and testicles and slap your buttocks so that your prick will erect? And you seriously think, for even one second, that she will do that supposing what you’re saying is true? No, she wouldn’t. Moreover, she can always deny that she and you made love. She’ll say you were impotent and couldn’t get it up from the word go, and now you’re trying to put your impotency on her. No, my paddy. We can’t arrest her, we can’t send her to court. It is, at best, a most foolish case.
Kofi and Ato look at each other with utter consternation.
ATO
(hoarsely)
You mean… you mean you can’t arrest Sajili? And you made us waste our time writing those statements? Aba boshit nso nyi?
SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
I’m sorry, dude. There’s no charge to arrest her on. We don’t deal in spiritual and psychological stuff. We deal in physical and fact-based crime. The police do a lot of things, but the one thing we don’t do is arrest witches and spiritual penis password specialists!
There is a bout of laughter again.
Ato takes Kofi’s arm.
ATO
Let’s get out of here, bro.
The beautiful police woman stands up and puts her arms around Kofi’s neck, looking at him with a mixture of pity and mirth.
POLICE BEAUTY
You’re a handsome man, Kofi, so very handsome. Listen, next time she mentions the password, memorize it okay? Then come and tell me. I’ll gladly pull your penis and turn it around and pull your hwea balls and slap your buttocks for you! I really want to do it for you! Maybe I can learn from it too, and keep my boyfriend’s dick on a password! Oh, every woman should have this ability to password a penis!
Kofi stumbles out of her arms and rushes outside blindly.
Ato follows him out.
They can still hear the strident laughter of the police personnel from within the office.
A Father" />
A Mother" />
Zac 29-Episode 1" />
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