This is how to turn your relationship into marriage…

EUNICE ANSAH-AGYEMAN

HOW TO TURN YOUR RELATIONSHIP INTO MARRIAGE

 

PART 4

[avatar]

The Author

Welcome to Day 4 of our discourse on:

How To Turn Your Relationship Into Marriage.

If this is the first time you are joining us, then you have lost a little bit of ‘flex’ info.

You can catch up by clicking the links below:

 

How To Turn Your Relationship Into Marriage Part 1

How To Turn Your Relationship Into Marriage Part 2

How To Turn Your Relationship Into Marriage Part 3

 

HEART-PROTECTORS

Now I am assuming you’re in a relationship because you love each other.

Good, really good.

What’s love anyway?

Well, in one way you might define love as an exchange of hearts.

I’ve given my heart to you and taken yours, so protect my heart, and I’ll protect yours.

What this means is that because you love each other, you have the ability to hurt each other badly!

How?

Simple really…

Love comes with levels of…

 

• Possessiveness
• Jealousies
• Frailties
• Passion

 

Yes, love is one mighty volcanic entity.

There are people who have calm hearts, and so might not give vent to so many jealousies, possessiveness, and nagging.

They are the calm and stoic type of people.

There are others who are mightily jealous and possessive, some bordering on the downright bizarre!

But, the two of you have fallen in love, and you’re trusting each other with your hearts.

This is where you need to be careful, because you have the power to hurt your partner, maybe irreparably!

People have tried love and been so damaged by it that they go around with some really catchy and witty clichés:

 

• Don’t fall in love, stand in love
• Love doesn’t exist
• I don’t have a heart to love!
• I’ve seen better than what you are doing!

 

Yes, people have become very disillusioned in love simply because someone couldn’t protect their hearts, and trampled on them!

Maybe you like going out and hanging out with friends, and maybe your partner is the cool type who wants to only hang out with you and doesn’t like going out to socialize much.

Now, that situation can be frustrating sometimes, yes.

It is very easy to get fed up with an overly jealous, possessive and nagging partner, yes.

 

But remember, your partner is doing that because you’re holding his/her heart, and you’re messing up with it.

 

Now hold on, I don’t mean to say you’re being directly wicked, especially with someone who is so jealous, possessive and insecure that the sight of you smiling with even a total stranger simply drive them bonkers.

I don’t mean to say you should let your partner’s obsessive and excessive nagging cow you into doing things that will make you unhappy, no, far from that!

Just remember that as long as your partner keeps doing that, it means there is something wrong with the way you’re keeping his/her heart.

 

As I said, we are all different, and we have been brought up differently!

What makes you strong might be your partner’s greatest weakness!

Maybe you think you’re just having some fun hanging out with your colleagues and friends, or some particular friend of the opposite sex.

You know definitely that there is nothing going on between you and that friend, but your partner simply won’t stop nagging or going to pieces over your friendship.

What do you do then?

Give up and end the relationship?

Become angry because he can’t trust you enough?

You go like:

 

“Why the hell can’t you simply trust me and know I’m not that kind of person? Why do you always have to believe the worst of me? Don’t you have any good thoughts in your head for me apart from the fact that I might be cheating on you?”

 

Now pause a little and ponder on this:

He’s doing this because he loves you!

She’s feeling absolutely insecure because of her love for you!

Trust is earned, over time, and not enforced by mouth and insistence!

You are holding your partner’s heart…protect it, or both of you might get fed up with the constant nagging, fighting, and arguments over trust!

 

Protect his heart!

Protect her heart!

 

Don’t do things that will hurt her, especially with how you relate with other friends of the opposite sex!

If a certain relationship of yours worries your partner whom you love, take great pains to protect your partner’s heart and earn trust, and then the problem will become easier!

For instance, she always sees you in the company of a beautiful childhood girl.

You know your partner is the fiercely jealous type. She is always nagging and accusing you of having an affair with this girl who has been your friend like ages!

What are you going to do?

 

Are you going to accuse your partner of not trusting you enough and then end the relationship?

No!

Your first course of action is to speak to your childhood friend over whom the problem is cropping up.

“Listen, Rose, my lady is really freaking out about my relationship with you. Look, she’s frail right now, and I’m explaining things to her, you know, so please don’t call me in the nights again for some time okay? As soon as I sort it out, we’ll go back to being how we used to be.”

 

The next step is to show your partner that indeed, Rose is nothing but a good friend. Tell her you’ve asked Rose to chill out for a bit because you want your relationship to succeed.

Invite Rose over, or have a few lunches together. Tell your partner about how Rose and you knew each other, speak to Rose with the phone on speaker…do anything that will protect your partner’s heart!

Once she sees that you love her that much, that you’ve put her interests first, that you are willing to put what’s between you and Rose aside to make her happy, she will begin to have that trust in you.

As the trust grows and strengthens, she will eventually reach a summit where she wouldn’t be worried if you’re out alone with other women!

 

She will know you are decent, and you won’t hurt her by any silly act…because you’re protecting her heart!

Yeah, that’s basically it!

Be heart-protectors!

Put the interests of your partner first! That’s what love is all about.

Make the sacrifices that will help him/her cope with your lifestyle.

Let your partner get used to who you are; help your partner build up the requisite level of trust in you, so that in the final analysis you can continue to enjoy your personal space without hurting your partner.

 

Remember you’re aiming toward marriage, and no sacrifice is too small or too big!

So if he complains too much, or nags too much, the right attitude is PATIENCE.

Have a lot of patience, and don’t flare up into wrathful and volcanic emissions! Take your time to explain issues and let him build up trust.

Let him know deep down that you are not capable of hurting him by cheating. Patience, patience, patience!

It wouldn’t end overnight, no. Some people will continue being overly possessive and easily hurt, but your patience and sensible approach to the situation will eventually lessen the situation.

 

Word of caution though:

‘If he/she gets physically abusive all the time, raining blows on you constantly because of his/her jealousies over situations, then he/she just might not be the right person for you.

If your patience and constant docile attitude do not pay off, and he/she continues to be physically violent, then it just might be one of those instances where ‘love is just not enough.’

It is good to escape any association that puts your life at risk, and a physically violent partner is one of those associations…escape it!

 

So, having said that, the trick today is:

Heart Protectors:

You have your partner’s heart…protect it!

Let’s continue tomorrow!

Have a wonderful day.

 

[stextbox id=”info” caption=”JOIN US ON WHATSAPP“]

Join Our WhatsApp Family.

Click HERE To Join Our WhatsApp Group 2

[/stextbox] [insert-comment-form]