This is how to turn your relationship into marriage…
EUNICE ANSAH-AGYEMAN
HOW TO TURN YOUR RELATIONSHIP INTO MARRIAGE
PART 5
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The Author
Welcome back, my dear friends!
I hope you had a wonderful weekend. A new week begins today, and it is my hope that the Lord bless you and make it a successful and victorious week for you.
Well, we continue our discourse on How To Turn Your Relationship Into Marriage.
This is the fifth installment.
If you missed any of the previous episodes, you can catch up by clicking on the links below:
How To Turn Your Relationship Into Marriage Part 1
How To Turn Your Relationship Into Marriage Part 2
And also:
How To Turn Your Relationship Into Marriage Part 3
How To Turn Your Relationship Into Marriage Part 4
DIAMONDS
Today, let us find out how the concept of a diamond can help your relationship!
Diamonds are beautiful gems! They catch and reflect light, and they are durable and precious!
Treat each other like diamonds.
This is quite different from loving and being loved.
It entails going a step further to show that you value your partner!
Instead of always saying ‘Honey, I’m really sorry,’ [sometimes for the same offense], always try to put the feelings of your partner first! Instead of doing an act that you’ll have to say sorry for later, you simply REFRAIN from doing that act!
Treating your partner like a precious diamond is:
Making a conscious effort not to do things that cause your partner pain…or, if it happens, making sure it DOESN’T happen twice.
It is simply not enough to charm your partner with words!
When you’re together you look into each other’s eyes and you start waxing all sentimental:
Honey, you’re the best!
Oh, Lord, my sugar-plum, I can’t live without you!
Oh, Angel, my heart loves you so much that I can breathe!
And when you’re apart, you call each other and talk for hours, or chat on Social Media sending lovely emojis with red love icons shooting out of their eyes, and words that are so romantic and flowered.
When you do all that, but can’t make your partner FEEL the love, care, and protection, then you’ve not done anything!
Love and care are not only about words, speech and gestures!
It is all about ACTIONS and making your partner FEEL LOVED!
I heard some poignant words in a song one day that epitomized what love is really all about! The words were:
I love you because of the way you make me FEEL even when I’m not with you!
Wow!
Powerful!
In other words, you notice and act on the basic things.
Let your partner feel like a treasured diamond!
It is not about spending money or buying your partner the latest gadgets and clothing, no!
It is about your care.
Your support.
The quality time you spend together, remembering the special days, and making your partner feel so warm and cozy inside when thoughts of you flitter through their minds!
Show your partner that you value him/her, that you care, that everything about her/him is important to you!
When he/she is sick, or just want a few seconds of your time, or when you’re together when there’s a problem, always be there for him/her. Don’t trivialize things that are important to your partner but which you feel are no big deals!
Let him/her be a precious gem, a treasure, a diamond that you hold with the utmost care.
Cherish your partner, lend an ear, help him/her solve problems.
Be a shadow.
The word here is care, care, care, and care!
THE LORD
Stop, pause, rewind!
Don’t be the LORD in your relationship!
Yes, indeed, if you’re a man, the woman has to respect you like the head. And of course, when you have a family, whether the woman is earning more or is far ahead of the man in terms of academic qualifications, the egoistic nature of man determines that he still be viewed as the head.
Cool, fine, that’s okay.
But that doesn’t mean the man must try to suppress the woman into cowed fear, or vice versa!
Don’t consider yourself the repository of all knowledge such that your ideas, thoughts, feelings, and wishes should always reign high…no!
First and foremost, your partner is just what it says: A PARTNER!
This means you begin on an equal pegging!
The woman can advise the man, and the man can advise the woman.
You are complements to each other. You plan together, decide together, agree to disagree all the time.
Hey, look, you two basically came from different backgrounds.
Even if you come from the same hometown, there are differences because you grew up in different families, probably went to different schools, and had different sets of friends.
What this means is that religiously, culturally, emotionally, ideally, you two might be as opposite as black and white.
But, because of the love between you, you’ve decided to make it work forever!
So don’t lord it over one other!
Don’t try to impose your beliefs and ideals on your partner, nope!
You might even belong to different political parties, so don’t try to convert your partner into your ideals compulsorily even when everything shows she wants otherwise!
Now, harmony normally prevails when you two eventually learn to love the same things, like the same church, same political ideologies, cultural lineage etc.
Fine, that is cool.
But where there are differences, you can still hold on to love by respecting the fact that although you love each other, you have your differences too!
Respect your partner’s views on financial issues, on material purchases, on topical issues! View your partner as an equal with a sensible head between their shoulders. Always dialogue as two equals, making lasting plans and finding solutions and still respecting the things that make you different!
Bottom line is, neither the man nor the woman, should play Lord and always dominate the views and feelings of the other. If this happens, the relationship might not turn into marriage because one might find someone else who will set him/her free of dominion.
Well, that will do for today, family.
Join us for more tomorrow.
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