Cheating in Relationships…

EUNICE ANSAH-AGYEMAN

THE LOVE SHOP

CHEATING IN RELATIONSHIPS

The Author

Cheating is a very common relationship problem and its effects are heart-wrenching and emotionally draining. It can split a relationship faster than thunder.

Cheating can come in a variety of shapes and forms, but they are all equally damaging.

Interestingly, it is not always clear where to draw the line between harmless fun and cheating.

What at all is Cheating?

In a broad sense, cheating can be defined as “being emotionally, physically or sexually unfaithful to your partner”.

A partner here means someone you have accepted to be in a close relationship with, with the ultimate goal of knowing them better for marriage consideration or a spouse if you are already married.

Forms of Cheating

There are basically 5 forms of cheating namely, physical, sexual, emotional, cyber and chexting.

Physical Cheating
Having physical contact with someone other than your partner. This may include: kissing, holding hands, grabbing intimate areas of another’s partner etc. This does not normally include sexual intimacy.

Sexual Cheating

Having sexual intimacy with someone other than your spouse or partner. It is one of the most common forms of cheating.

Emotional Cheating

Intimately confiding in a person other than your partner.
This may include, sharing thoughts, dreams and an emotional closeness that would normally be reserved for your partner.

Emotional cheating can cripple a relationship faster than the other forms of cheating.

Cyber Cheating

With the advancement in technology and the Internet, cyber cheating is becoming a problem among partners. Cyber cheating can come in the form of Internet pornography, online dating and flirting with other people on social networking sites. It is very difficult to uncover cyber cheating than the other forms of cheating.
Some even engage in what’s popularly known as Phone Sex.
People usually video chat and strip naked and touch themselves in sensitive areas just to arouse the other and gain sexual fulfilment. If this is done with someone other than your partner, it can be classified as cheating.

Text Message Cheating

Text message cheating, also known as chexting, is another form of cheating.
According to Fox News, this is a new form of cheating.
“Chexting” includes sending sexually explicit messages or pictures and texting to arrange dates. Simple messages that seem innocent, such as asking how someone is doing, can be considered chexting if the intention of the person sending the text is to hook up with the recipient.

Some Research Facts about How Men and Women Differ on What They Consider Cheating
According to a 2014 survey by Victoria Milan, an online dating site for people who are in relationships, there are some clear distinctions between how men and women view cheating.

The research findings are as follows:

1.
72% of men said sexual affairs were worse than emotional affairs.

2
69% of women said emotional affairs were worse than sexual affairs.

3
76% of women would forgive their partner for a strictly sexual affair

4
Only 3% of men would forgive their partner for a strictly sexual affair.

5
80% of men said they would forgive an emotional affair.

6
Only 30% of women would forgive an emotional affair.

Agreeing on What is to be considered as Cheating

Unfortunately, it’s very difficult to define cheating due to individual perceptions and beliefs that is why it is important partners agree on what’s considered cheating as far as they are concerned.
To be very sure you are not cheating on your partner, you should have an honest open discussion about what is considered cheating or not.
You can then agree on what kinds of behaviours and relationships are acceptable and what are unacceptable.
You can deliberate on questions like :
Is it okay to sext someone else?
Is it okay to watch porn with others, even if you don’t touch?

And is it okay to go to strip clubs?

Is it okay to have long phone conversations ( text or voice) with another person at night or any time of the day?

Look for How to Handle Cheating in another post…

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