Kofi gets to the ODAMTEN PREMISES around 7 p.m.

He drives a white Mercedes Benz car.

 

Actually, it is not his car. It belongs to Akweley.

 

She had tried unsuccessfully to make her father buy Kuntu a car.

Her father, who dislikes Kuntu, hadn’t budged despite his beloved daughter’s heckling.

 

In the end Akweley had simply given her Mercedes to Kuntu and informed her father. Mr. Laryea Odamten, not wanting his sweet daughter to move around in taxis, had released a Lexus to her, and bingo, Kuntu had a car.

Kofi parks the car that night at the huge car park in front of the premises.

 

Laryea Odamten, a Ga man who had been very poor once, has erected a house that looks like a mini castle.

 

Kuntu knows that one day this great house will be his when he marries Akweley.

 

It rises from the ground like a lion, and sprouts outward like a proud eagle.

The architecture of the house is amazing.

 

It is huge and spreads out, and it is ludicrous to know that such an edifice is occupied by only the man and his daughter.

 

The car park is almost full, an indication of the number of people who have shown up for Mr. Odamten’s birthday dinner.

Kofi Kuntu gets out of the car and straightens up his tuxedo.

He knows he looks handsome in it.

 

He checks the inner pocket of the coat and makes sure that the Jamaican Stone is nestling there.

 

Satisfied, he opens the back door and reaches inside.

A moment later he brings out a huge dispenser bottle.

 

It looks like the plastic can that is used for water dispensers, but the liquid in it is not water.

 

It is filled with wine; a water dispenser can full of wine!

 

Luckily, the plastic can has a handle, and so Kuntu lifts it and begins to walk towards the entrance.

 

He has to stop several times to catch his breath because the can is quite heavy.

 

He is sweating by the time he comes to the main entrance.

One of the guards manning the gates sees him and takes the can from him, and Kuntu breathes with relief.

 

He enters.

 

The forecourt of the mini castle is a thing of beauty.

 

Mr. Laryea Odamten has decorated it with exotic lights, awesome landscaping and jaw-dropping natural and artificial features that has transformed the whole place into an exotic, magical fantasy that belongs to a fairy tale.

 

There is soft music playing.

 

The tables are glass-topped and the chairs exquisite.

There are long golden tables laden with assorted food.

 

Many of the well-dressed men and women are already seated and eating, whilst others are serving themselves at the buffet tables.

 

Mr Laryea Odamten, Akweley and some distinguished guests are seated at the High Table.

 

There is an empty seat to Akweley’s left.

 

Sitting beside Akweley is a tall, dark, handsome young man in an excellently-tailored suit.

 

His name is NANA KWASI. 

 

He is the son of a Minister of State. He has always been in love with Akweley, and it had been expected that they would have eventually gotten married, if Kofi Kuntu had not come around.

 

Laryea Odamten likes Nana Kwasi, and that is why he cannot stand Kofi Kuntu.

 

Nana Kwasi sees the gigantic can the guard is struggling with, and he sees Kuntu following the guard.

 

Nana Kwasi’s eyes narrow with a mischievous glint, and he stands up slowly when he sees the guard heading towards the spot where the Gift Table is.

 

Kuntu approaches the High Table.

 

Akweley sees him and she smiles appreciatively.

Although she knows her father despises Kofi, there is no denying the fact that her man is exceedingly handsome.

 

Maybe that is one of the reasons why her father cannot stand him. 

Kofi Kuntu is too handsome for his own good.

 

Akweley sees the looks the other women at the High Table are casting Kuntu, the lecherous desires in the depths of their eyes, and she smiles with satisfaction.

 

Kofi Kuntu and his incredible good looks are hers, forever.

Akweley is tall and elegant. Her face is not so beautiful, though, but her figure is one to die for.

 

She holds out a hand as Kuntu reaches the table.

He takes her hand and kisses her lightly on the lips.

 

Laryea Odamten, sitting at the head of the table with two beautiful young women on each side of him, looks on with a dark scowl.

He is rotund, and has a shock of steel-grey hair and a handlebar moustache.

 

“Welcome, darling,” Akweley says tenderly.

 

“Damn, I missed you, Princess,” Kofi whispers. “Let me go and say hello to your father and come.”

 

She smiles demurely as Kuntu moves past her and goes to stand beside Mr. Odamten who looks up at Kofi with a smirk.

 

“Kofi Kuntukununku! You’re late for my party, you see I’m eating, and you want to distract me. What’s the matter with you, Kofi Kuntukununku?”

 

Kofi sighs with exasperation.

“Happy birthday, Mr. Odamten. I wish you to enjoy many more years of health, happiness and wealth.”

 

Mr. Laryea drinks from a dainty decanter, sets it down and looks up at Kofi.

Just then Nana Kwasi appears at the other side of Mr. Laryea and speaks with laughter dancing in his eyes.

 

“Goodness me, Mr. Odamten!” Nana Kwasi says with elaborate emphasis. “You wouldn’t believe what Mr. Kuntu brought you for a birthday present.”

 

Kofi scowls at Nana Kwasi.

Mr. Odamten looks from Nana Kwasi to Kofi Kuntu.

 

“What did he bring? What did you bring, Kofi Kuntukununku?” Mr. Odamten asks.

 

“Oh, I told the guys to bring it over, sir,” Nana Kwasis says with a little chuckle. “But, seriously, is that Kuntu’s full name? I never knew. What? Kuntukukuuunku? What? Seriously? So, like, Ak is going to be what, Mrs. Akweley Kuntukukuuuunku?”

 

“Kuntukununku, yes, that’s his name! That’s the kind of sad name this boy is going to give to my lovely daughter, and to my grand-children! As you say, she will be known as Mrs. Akweley Kuntukununku! A name that sounds like the sound of a bass drum! Even if they name a grand-child after me, he will be called Laryea Odamten Kuntukununku, oh Jesus! Yes, that is what my daughter is going to do to me!”

 

Nana Kwasi shakes his head with mock sadness.

“Akweley Kuntutukuunku! Amazing! Simply amazing!”

 

Kuntu looks at him with venom on his face, trying to quell the anger that is assailing him. Nana Kwasi sees it, and he chuckles, enjoying himself, knowing that Kuntu will not dare misbehave by attacking him at Mr. Odamten’s party.

 

And that is when the guard suddenly appears with the gigantic bottle across his shoulders.

“Where do you want me to put it, please?”

 

“Oh, put it on the table, right here!” Nana Kwasi says with a soft laugh.

 

He indicates a place beside Mr. Laryea’s plate, and the guard drops the huge can on the table, making it shake.

 

Mr. Laryea Odamten looks at the can which is filled with the red liquid, and his face goes dark with sudden anger.

 

“And what the hell is this?”

 

Nana Kwasi is laughing and can barely speak as the gales rock his body.

He points at the huge can and then points at Kuntu.

 

“Your future son-in-law brought it to you as a birthday gift, sir! That is your own full dispenser can of wine!”

 

Mr. Laryea Odamten jumps to his feet and points a shaky finger at the huge can.

 

“That is… that is w-wine?” he asks, horrified.

 

Kofi Kuntu is looking very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

It had seemed like a good idea when he conceived it many months ago.

 

He knows his father-in-law-to-be loves wine, and that is why Kuntu had conceived the idea to bring him something he would appreciate.

But now, like almost everything else he did, it is turning out to be a disaster.

 

“Your birthday gift, sir. I know you love wine,” Kuntu says lamely.

 

“And so you filled a water dispenser bottle with pure wine?” Mr. Odamten asks angrily. “You brought me twenty litres of wine inside a water dispenser bottle? What wine is it? Imported wine?”

 

Kofi is looking really miserable now.

“No, sir! Imported wine was too expensive per bottle, and so I took it to the PAFUU DISTILLERIES to fill it.”

Mr. Odamten, horrified, speaks in an almost apoplectic voice.

 

“YOU FILLED THIS HUGE WATER DISPENSER BOTTLE WITH TWENTY LITRES OF PAFUU WINE FOR ME? THAT POISON? DO YOU KNOW IT CONTAINS EIGHTY PERCENT ALCOHOL? TWENTY LITRES OF PAFUU WINE IN A PLASTIC DISPENSING CAN FOR MY BIRTHDAY? ARE YOU BONKERS?”

 

Many of the guests are laughing uproariously now.

 

Akweley is suddenly on the scene, and she takes her father’s face in her hands and looks at him gently.

 

“Sorry, Dad, but you know Kofi was just trying to impress you!” Akweley says gently.

“He wanted to impress me by giving me twenty litres of Pafuu wine on my birthday in a water dispenser bottle?”

“He has no bad intentions, Dad, please! Of course we all know you love wine! It is just that he has been trying so hard all these years to make you accept him but nothing he does seems to please you!”

 

“Because he’s a fool! Come on, my darling! Please marry someone else, okay? This man is simply bonkers! Eighty percent alcoholic Pafuu Wine for me? He wants to kill me, dear, he wants to murder me!”

 

“We have guests, Dad. It’s okay. Please don’t lose it. Sit down, Dad, please!”

 

Mr. Laryea Odamten sits down again and shakes his head.

 

“Take this damn thing away from my sight!”

 

The guard once again heaves and carries the gigantic bottle of wine away.

People are still laughing.

 

Akweley glares around the table, and slowly the laughter dies down. She fixes Nana Kwasi with a venomous look.

Nana Kwasi is suddenly uncomfortable.

 

“Come on, Ak! You know…”

 

“Save it, Kwasi! Just shovel it! Come with me, Kofi,” Akweley says angrily.

 

She takes the hapless Kuntu’s hand and leads him inside the huge building.

She leads him up an ornate staircase to an incredible landing above, and then down a corridor to her bedroom.

Akweley opens her door and they enter.

 

Kuntu is too flustered to admire the incredible view from the room like he usually does.

Her room is upstairs, and overlooks an incredible view of the hills and valleys beyond, made almost terrestrial by the flickering lights of the night.

 

Her room is huge, and has a round water-bed that can be powered to rotate.

She has the biggest glass wardrobe Kuntu has ever seen.

 

There is a gigantic curved Samsung HD television, a mini glass desk and swivel chair for her computer and Internet functions.

 

Kuntu moves to the huge French Windows and runs a hand through his hair miserably.

 

“Your father will never like me, you know that,” Kofi says sadly.

 

She comes up behind him and slips her arms around his waist, pressing herself fully against him.

 

“Oh, my love! I know he doesn’t trust you, but you don’t do yourself any favours! Goodness me, you knew his friends would be here, very important people, and you brought him a crazily gargantuan alcoholic Pufuam wine?” 

 

“Pafuu wine, not Pufuam.”

 

“Whatever, darling! That was largely inconsiderate! I’ve told you to discuss these things with me first! Anyway, it’s done. Stop worrying about it and give me a big kiss!”

 

Kofi turns and sweeps her into his arms.

Her lips are soft, wet and hot.

 

They kiss fervently, and soon his erection begins to push against her belly.

She reaches down and caresses it through the trousers, and he grabs her pliant buttocks tightly.

 

He kisses her throat and the space between her ears.

She has sprayed some heady perfume behind her ears, and its uncomfortable taste stings his tongue.

 

“Oh, oh, my love! I need you so badly!” he groans.

 

She parts her legs as he caresses her between her thighs.

And then her phone rings.He holds her tightly but she firmly pushes him back because the tone is the special one for her father.

She moves away as Kofi pants hard.

 

She picks the call, listens for a while and speaks.

 

“Alright, Dad. I’m coming.”

 

She cuts the call.

Kofi looks at her with shadowed eyes because he still wants her.

She smiles and looks down at his erection.

 

“Blue balls coming up, my love!” he says.

 

“Tell that hard beast not to go flabby! My father wants me to cut the birthday cake for him. I’ll be right back so that you rip me apart, baby!”

 

Kuntu makes a hissing sound and begins to loosen his bow-tie.

 

“Hurry up, darling! Can’t wait to feel your sweetness!”

 

Akweley wiggles her buttocks at him and quickly leaves the room.

Kofi, all excited and hot, quickly takes off his clothes.

And that is when he remembers the Jamaican Stone!

 

It is time to try out some kpa kpa kpa kpa kpa!

 

Long distance, baby! No stopping, no shaking, no explosion, man! Only sweet dribbling, my paddy! Kpa kpa kpa kpa kpa ride, ziiiiiiiiiin!!

 

Naked now, he takes the small pouch and enters the extra-nice bathroom of his fiancée.