If Tomorrow Never Comes

I saw myself sitting on my bed in my room that night taking a sip from the bottle of water beside my bed.

Then, I took my Bible as I lay down on the neatly made bed. I felt a bit lonely though as I read my Bible verse for the day and read through a few other articles just to keep my mind from dwelling on the various challenges and the rather shocking news I was handed down by a ‘friend’ a day ago. It was just a rumour so I decided to wait it out and see how it panned out before telling my wife and family.

Not that it mattered anyway. The way I had been treated over the past few years pushed me to search for another job anyway and thankfully, I landed one that offered to pay even more than I was receiving presently. And it came with other pleasurable benefits.

I encouraged myself to forget about the hurts I have suffered from my associates and employers, a place I had committed a majority of my career life to but I guess when you are dealing with humans you should never lose sight of the fact that they can be callous for no reason as long as it got them what they wanted.

I closed my eyes to sleep after a short prayer, but sleep eluded me for a long while as my mind went around in circles.

My mind processed all the injustice, insults, betrayals and gross disappointments I have suffered continuously for more than a year for no just cause. I just found myself amid a war that had nothing to do with me but because I was physically present, people around me decided to seize the opportunity to push their agenda without thinking of who got hurt at the end of the day. 

I was just a casualty of war to them. And yes, I felt like an endangered species because of my last name and the region I hailed from. But God still rules.

I had spent years building a good reputation for myself and my perpetrators did not give a hoot if painting me black would accelerate the quench they needed for their thirst of greed that came with power.

People close to me have told blatant lies, done the unthinkable and said pretty harsh words to me and for what?

Suffering a betrayal like this is quite new to me and so it hit me hard but again, relying on God’s word, I had come to find comfort in the ‘vengeance is Jehovah’s’ mantra and left things to just go their lifespan.

These are people I have known practically all my life and expected them to know me better. These were people I called friends, people I would have given my life for without a second thought but who have turned out more dangerous than the venom from a snake’s bite.

These are people I trusted and who now sought to have their way no matter what it took. They tapped my phone line as if I were a criminal, broke into my home twice, and even followed me around just to get something to use against me and for what?

Just because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time?

I felt my body temperature literally rising, an indication that I was thinking too much and needed to take things slow a bit.

Then, I saw myself on the screen getting on my knees right in front of my bed and pouring out all my frustrations, pain and disappointment to the only true God I have served faithfully almost all my life and taking solace in the fact that I was starting a new job in a new location in a couple of weeks.

I ended my prayer to my father in heaven with the following words –

“Let your will for my life be done, Jehovah. Forgive those who have sought to do me wrong and give me the strength to live as your faithful servant all the days of my life on this earth. And create in me a heart that would not be filled with bitterness for all the injustice I have suffered. I know there’s nothing impossible for you. If it is your will, Jehovah, heal this body that gets weaker by the day for no apparent reason. In Jesus’ name, I humbly pray with thanksgiving. Amen!”

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