Whatever It Takes…
WHATEVER IT TAKES
Reggie looked at Boat with pity.
Boat had been in his house for close to a week without saying much.
He had not eaten or slept much during the period.
Reggie knew something was wrong but all attempts to get him to speak up had fallen on deaf ears.
The two friends are sitting on the same sofa in Reggie’s living-room.
Reggie moved closer to Boat and put his hand on his shoulder.
“Boat, you can’t go on like this. Look at you… you’re a complete mess. I know something has really shaken you up, but if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay with me. However, you can’t allow it to break you down like this. You’ve hardly eaten or slept these few days you’ve been here. Don’t take this the wrong way but you’ve never spent more than a day in my house.
I know you are hiding from someone and at the same time, you are hurting terribly. I know it’s a woman because only a woman would make you look like this. I’ve seen you like this before and it wasn’t pleasant. Why don’t you go and deal with whatever problem that is out there? It won’t go away unless you deal with it. I don’t like seeing you like this. It breaks me too.” Reggie advised.
“If you are tired of me being here, just tell me and I’ll find another place for myself.” Boat shot back angrily.[stextbox id=”alert” caption=”WARNING”]Exclusive Content to http://www.aaron-ansah-agyeman.com Do not copy or share on any other site. Do not share on any WhatsApp, Facebook or Social Media page. ONLY SHARE THE LINKS TO THE STORY[/stextbox]
“You know very well that was not what I meant. We’ve hardly had a normal conversation since you came. You are defensive all the time. I’m only advising you because you are my friend, you either take it or leave it. But don’t tell me I didn’t warn you; that lady won’t wait around for you forever. If there is a misunderstanding, you have to clear it up and you can only do that if you confront the problem.”
Boat was furious now.
He was not in the mood for Reggie’s condescending stance.
He felt that Reggie had spoken to Esenam but she did not give details of what happened and was probably trying to get it from him.
And he was not ready to talk about whatever happened between Esenam and himself.
Boat got to his feet.
He walked out of the room without a word. He got into his car and drove off with no destination in mind.
After driving in circles for close to an hour he finally settled for the beach. Memories of time spent with Esenam at the same beach flooded back. He got out of the car and walked bare-footed on the shores of the beach.
“Could it be that I was mistaken? Am I making a mountain out of nothing? Could what I saw just be an innocent hug? What about the kiss? Did Akwasi do it intentionally to upset me? How could she allow him to touch her? Could it be that she’s still in love with him? God, please give me some answers. I am troubled and I don’t know what to do. Why was he there at her apartment at that time of day? Is there something going on that I don’t know about? Esenam, how could you do this to me when all I’ve done is give you the very best of me. I love you Esenam. I really do.” he thought out loud.
Meanwhile, Esenam sat behind her desk in the office unfocused.
To say she was miserable was an understatement.
She kept entering and deleting data in an excel worksheet.
Nii Armah watched her for some time and shook his head. He got up from his desk and walked over to her concerned.
“Esenam, if you are not well you should ask for permission to go home or the hospital. You don’t seem to be concentrating on anything you do these days. What’s up with you? Are you pregnant or something?”
“Please back off, would you? I am not in the mood for your games. Please, leave me alone.”
“I can’t do that, not when whatever is bothering you is affecting your work. I suggest you ask for a few days off so that you deal with whatever is eating you up. You are not doing anything here as it is. Inefficiency is something that cannot be tolerated here. It’s better you go home than make mistakes that could be used against you in the future.”
“Thanks for the suggestion but I don’t need it. I’m very fine.”
Nii Armah left her alone.
Esenam tilted her head back on the headrest of her chair and closed her eyes tightly to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. She felt weak and helpless.
She had not slept or eaten much the past few days. Her soul was tormented and what made it worse was Boat’s disappearance.
She was truly worried about him and his welfare. She thought Boat was a little immature to react like that but she blamed herself for the whole unfortunate incident.
She shouldn’t have allowed Akwasi into her house in the first place. She knew it was very silly of her to trust him. She knew her actions and consequences had hurt Boat and that’s one thing she could not bear. She’d hurt him in the worse way possible. It wasn’t like she blamed Boat for leaving but she knew she would have confronted Boat if she had been in his shoes.
Her Mom called and questioned why she had not bothered to call or pass by after she turned down her invitation.
Esenam did not have much to say. Her Mom could tell there was something wrong just by talking to her but Esenam would not confide in her.
She was the type that took care of her own issues. She had never used third parties, especially in her relationships.
Esenam was able to get her Mom off her back by promising she would come to see her that weekend.
Her father had not been too harsh on her when he came home to see her talking with the rest of the family outside his gate the last time she was there.
Esenam called Boat’s office after talking to her Mom and found out he had taken days off.
She was very sad that things had gotten this far.
Hearing from a third party that Boat had taken leave days unsettled and crushed her.
She decided it would be best to accept she had lost him. It was obvious he did not want anything to do with her.
She tidied up her desk, picked her handbag and left.
Nii Armah wished her well and begged her to try and enjoy the weekend.
Esenam knew it would be difficult to forget Boat. She was totally in love with him. She also knew that the God she served and gave up his family for would not forsake her.
She reached her apartment in no time and walked dejectedly to her door. She unlocked it and turned the door handle. And then she heard her name being called from behind.
She was familiar with that voice.
She turned slowly to look at him.
He looked troubled and wretched.
“Can I come in for a minute?” Boat asked.
“Sure. .” Esenam said, relieved to see him at last.
He followed her inside.
Esenam tossed her bag in one of the sofas and sat down without looking at him.
Boat took a seat facing her.
One long look at her and he knew he loved her too much to let go.
He admitted he had missed her more than he imagined.
He noticed her dull eyes and reasoned she was hurt her by his actions but he was hurting more and felt betrayed.
Boat ran his hands through his hair. He was not sure where to start from.
Esenam could not take the silence anymore.
“You are welcome. Hope you are well! “
Boat still couldn’t find his voice.
He wasn’t sure what to say.
He was still angry and hurt.
And he stayed away because he would have said something that could have damaged their relationship.
That was his weakness.
He knew he was unbearable when he was angry, hurt and jealous.
That was why he stayed away until he was calm.
Sitting across from her all he wanted to do was hug her and assure her of his undying love, his dedication, his commitment and, above all else, the fact that he couldn’t live without her.
But the thought that Akwasi hugged her, feeling her breasts on his chest, made him very jealous.
“I guess you have unpleasant news that’s why you are behaving like that,” Esenam said sadly. “I bet you are here to tell me it is over between us because you think Akwasi and I are still intimate. Well, it’s unfortunate that you don’t trust me enough. Love and trust are soul mates. You can’t separate them.
To clear your doubts, let me state here and now that there is nothing between Akwasi and me. What you saw was a friendly and farewell hug. If I had known for a moment that Akwasi was going to use that against me because he apparently saw you enter, I wouldn’t have bothered. Somehow, it’s good it happened because your reaction told me you don’t trust me that much. This tells me you never loved me as much as you made me believe. I have been the fool. As I sit here, I’m dying for you because I love you even more.”
“I’ve missed you, Esenam. I love you.”
Esenam closed her eyes as if she did not want to hear him say that.
It was so ironic.
“Please don’t play games with me. You know you can do better than that. You can at least start by telling me why you’ve treated me like an undesirable element for the past few weeks?”
“I’m sorry, Esenam. I just couldn’t help it. I needed to deal with my demons.”
“Is that all you can say, sorry? Do you have any idea what you’ve put me through these two weeks? And all you can say is you couldn’t help it? I really thought and believed you loved me, Boat. I am disappointed in the way you handled the situation.”
“I do love you Esenam but when I saw you and…I mean when I found you in Akwasi’s arms I went completely berserk. I was so consumed with jealousy, pain, and bitterness, my whole existence was threatened. I felt like I had lost you and that made me go bonkers. Why was he with you at that time of day? Are you still in love with him?”
“How can you ask me that? Don’t you know I love only you? Or is it that you never believed in me? Or you are not sure of what you feel for me? God, I thought we passed this stage. How could you even think of that? If I were still in love with Akwasi, do you think I’ll be with you? You better examine yourself to know what you feel for me. It is certainly not loving if you cannot trust me.”
“Look, I know I’ve behaved badly. The truth is I love you too much that is why I couldn’t take it when I saw you in another man’s arms. There is a saying…once bitten, twice shy, you know.” Boat tried to explain himself.
“You see, I had a very bad experience once. When I saw you in Akwasi’s arms, it all came back to me. There was this lady I was involved with a long time ago. Everything was going well. We had been in the relationship for about two years. We planned to get married in the future. I went to see her as usual at her place one day, she told me her Auntie called to inform her that her Mom was sick and that she had to come immediately.
I saw her off to the station and waited till the bus was loaded and took off. When I reached home, I realized I had left a document I was supposed to work on that night in her house. I had a spare key so it wasn’t a big deal. I hurried back to her place to get it. When I got there and I turned the handle, the door opened. I thought in our haste to get to the station, we had forgotten to lock up so I entered…then the sight that met my eyes was horrible.
There, on the bed, was the woman I thought loved me. She was with her ex-boyfriend, making love. I don’t know how I got home that day. When I later saw her she tried to blame her action on something she termed a bond. She mentioned something about women never forgetting their first love and that she still loved me. I relocated to Accra after that incident. When I saw you in Akwasi’s arms, all of that came back to me. If I had stayed I don’t know what I’d have done. I just couldn’t bear the pain. I needed to cool off or I was going to kill someone. So that is why I’ve stayed away from you all this while.”
“That’s painful, Boat, thinking I could be capable of hurting you like that. I’m not a dog to vomit and go back to eat it. Someone gives you a flimsy excuse for her sordid actions and you generalize it? I am Esenam and she is whatever she is. If you say you love me there should be some element of trust. You should be able to know the things I can do and the things I cannot do. Have I in any way given you any reason to doubt me?”
“No Esenam. You are getting it wrong. I trust you. I guess I have a problem. I needed some time to get over the way I felt. I could’ve done or said something that could have hurt you deeply and I wanted to avoid that. I’m sorry for causing you unbearable pain. I know I’m too possessive sometimes but please give me a chance to make it up to you. I can’t live without you, that’s the gospel truth. I love you and I trust you. Can you please give me another chance, just one chance?”
Esenam got to her feet and walked to the window.
It hurt so bad the way Boat had made her feel over the past weeks. Granted, she triggered it by allowing Akwasi into her house and hugging him. It was true Akwasi exaggerated a bit, obviously to get to Boat, but she believed what they shared was more.
She believed Boat should be able to know what she could and couldn’t do. She felt betrayed and abandoned.
She stood looking out the window without uttering a single word.[stextbox id=”info” caption=”JOIN US ON WHATSAPP“]
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