(American Ghanaian Setting)

Mr Smith: (dressing up) I can see you are really enjoying your sleep.

Selina: I feel so exhausted looking at what you did to me yesternight and this dawn. No man has taken me this far ever since I came of age and I feel my bones are even aching.

Mr Smith: You are very funny, please don’t flatter me with words. Since you are exhausted, why don’t you call the reception and let the receptionist book a massage session for you?

Selina: Oh yes, I need a massage badly.

Mr Smith: Then call the reception right away. The massage therapy and other wonderful experiences come in as a combo package for the room we are occupying. This Friday, I am told we will go hiking then on Saturday, we go on a wildlife expedition before we check out from the hotel.

Selina: I just can’t wait for all these wonderful goodies, it has always been my dream to go hiking and also have the chance to experience nature with some wild animals around. You are a God sent my love.

Mr Smith: How do I look, my pumpkin?

Selina: You look very handsome and young. The design and colour perfectly match your stature and no one can pass by you and not take a second look at you.

Mr Smith: With this compliment, I don’t need the mirror again. Let me pack the documents I need before I forget anything. (telephone rings)

Selina: (answers the phone) Hello!!

Receptionist: Good morning ma’am, please I am calling from the reception to inform Mr Smith that his driver who will drive him to the conference is in.

Selina: Okay I will pass the information to him and please can you book an appointment with the spa for me? I need a massage badly.

Receptionist: Certainly madam, please what is your name?

Selina: Selina Thompson is the name.

Receptionist: When do you want to have the massage?

Selina: This morning after breakfast.

Receptionist: Do you want a room service or you will like to come down to the spa yourself?

Selina: I would like to have a little tour around your beautiful hotel so, I will come down to the spa myself.

Receptionist: Okay ma’am, do you prefer a male or female to attend to you?

Selina: Mmmm I think a male will do.

Receptionist: Very well then madam, your reservation has been made.

Selina: Thanks for your assistance. (drops the phone)

Mr Smith: Bae I will be on my way then, I will call you when I get a free chance.

Selina: Okay honey, you are looking very handsome in your made-in-Ghana kaftan and I wish you all the best of luck as you deliver your presentation to your fellow colleagues, try not to miss me much.

Mr Smith: (salutes) Yes, my lady boss. (kisses Selina and walks to the door)

Selina: Please make sure you capture some nice photos and send them over to me as the day unfolds over there.

Mr Smith: Consider your request granted.

 

Back at the Brown’s Residence:

Fiona and Glenn are seriously making love that she didn’t hear the sound of her father’s car in the driveway.

Captain Brown: (gets down from his car and walks to the door and the moment he tries to insert the key to unlock the door, the door opens) What the heck? Has someone tried to break into my house this early morning? (pulls his sidearm out)

Fiona: (moans loudly upstairs) Oh yeah, give it to me baby. I just love this very style. You are very sweet and strong. Hit me right there, baby. Spank my ass, you son of a bitch.

Captain Brown: (hears the moaning upstairs as he talks to himself) Who the hell broke into my house and has the audacity to be having sex in my house at this time of the day? I swear to God I will kill someone today. (slowly climbs the staircase)

Glenn: Baby, I think I am cumming.

Fiona: Please don’t cum now, my darling. You are now hitting my G spot and if you come I won’t forgive you.

Captain Brown: (gets to where the sound is coming from) Now hold it there…… Freeze!!! (Glenn turns and splashes his sperm on Captain Brown’s face and dress)

Glenn: I am so sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to….. (quickly grabs his things and runs out of the room)

Fiona: (wraps her hands on her boobs) Daddy what are you doing here?

Captain Brown: (wipes the sperm from his face) Fiona is that what you have been doing in this house when your mother and I are not around?

Fiona: Daddy you were not supposed to be here. what are you doing back home?

Captain Brown: One more word from you and I will kill you myself. Who the hell is that boy and do you even have respect for your mom and I? Did you have to bring that idiot into the bedroom of your parents?

Fiona: It still doesn’t justify your reason for being home Daddy. You invaded my privacy.

Captain Brown: I can see you have grown wings young lady. trust me I will clump that stupid wings down myself. How dare you bring a boy into my house and get the nerves to bring him to my matrimonial bedroom? You are in deep trouble and because of you, I won’t go to the base again. I will phone the base and seek permission so I can get to the bottom of this nonsense. (brings his phone out as he dials some numbers)

 

At Jeffery’s Apartment:

Mrs Smith: I enjoyed every bit of the food you served me. That was a delicious meal, Jeffery.

Jeffrey: I am glad you enjoyed it.

Mrs Smith: Mmmm you will have to write the recipe and process you used in preparing this meal for me. I would like to practise it one of these days when I am free and in the house.

Jeffrey: I will get it for you before you leave this place today.

Mrs Smith: So how did you get to know how to prepare this kind of food this way?

Jeffery: Well, when my Dad passed, the man my mother brought in was molesting me in the house so I run from the house and a chef took me in. He taught me some culinary skills as I worked with him in his small restaurant in Ohio. I left Ohio when he also passed on about 6 years ago.

Mrs Smith: So why didn’t you start your own restaurant when you came to Colorado?

Jeffrey: I wanted to but I had no capital and license to operate a restaurant here in Colorado knowing how strict the law works here.

Mrs Smith: So are you willing to own your restaurant if I get you money as your capital and I get the license for you?

Jeffrey: That is what I have been praying for. I have always wanted to own my personal restaurant and prepare African dishes especially that of Ghanaian delicacies.

Mrs Smith: Are you for real? Are you aware my husband has his roots in Ghana?

Jeffrey: What a coincidence! Well, the man was also a chef from Ghana and he taught me every special meal prepared by Ghanaians ranging from the north, south, east and west dishes.

Mrs Smith: Then you are very lucky then. You know Colorado is made up of a lot of blacks from the western side of Africa so I think opening your own eatery or restaurant will fetch you a whole lot of cash as I haven’t seen any restaurant around that specializes in the Ghanaian dishes. You know what, if you give me a good time today for me to hit my peak, I will pull some strings and get the licence for you to operate a restaurant very soon.

Jeffery: You don’t mean it, my love?

Mrs Smith: I mean every word coming out of my mouth. Ever since knowing me, have I given you any promise that I didn’t fulfil?

Jeffrey: No, my dear.

Mrs Smith: Then today won’t be my first time going against my promise or words.

Jeffrey: Bae I want to seize the opportunity to say a very big thank you for the money you sent me last night. I have already used it to order some machines used in the kitchen.

Mrs Smith: Mmmm, I can see you are really serious about this restaurant thing and I will help make it a reality.

Jeffrey: So what are we waiting for then? Let me carry you to the bed immediately so we get down to business because I want to see you on a different planet.

Mrs Smith: I think the bed should be the last option. I want us to do it everywhere in this apartment. We can start from this dining table, then move to your couch, then proceed to your bathroom, then later we come to your bed and then end it on the floor.

Jeffrey: Mmmm I can see you really came prepared.

Mrs Smith: Of course lover boy, I even came with the baby oil you asked me to get and I want you to know, it’s been so long that my emotions were triggered this way so if you can take me through that long journey, I will put a very long-lasting smile on your face.

Jeffery: Then brace yourself for a very long and rough ride today. I will send you to Venus and Mars after which I will navigate you back to Earth and then lead you back to my apartment. I pray you don’t collapse halfway through the rough journey.

Mrs Smith: (pulls her blouse off) Try me, young man and you will see I have a V12 turbocharger engine in me.

 

Back at the Brown’s Residence:

Captain Brown: (on phone) Woman have you gotten to your workplace already?

Mrs Brown: Yes I got here about 5 minutes ago. Have you also gotten to the base already?

Captain Brown: No I am back in the house.

Mrs Brown: Why did you change your mind or you were called not to report to the base again this morning?

Captain Brown: Woman whatever you are doing at the office, put a halt to it and rush to the house this very minute.

Mrs Brown: Bismark don’t tell me you are horny and that is the reason why you have returned to the house just to lure me back home for a quickie before you rush back to the base.

Captain Brown: Woman will you cut that quickie bullshit and locate your way back to this house. Who is talking about sex here?

Mrs Brown: Now you are scaring me, my love. Can you please run me up to speed, on what I am not abreast with?

Captain Brown: Some issues are not discussed on the phone hence my reason for extending that invitation to you.

Mrs Brown: My darling husband, at least you could give me a little heads up before I get to the house. It would be appropriate for me to ponder over the matter and get some ideas before I even step out of my office.

Captain Brown: Pearl, stop this unnecessary ranting and get yourself here. You will be debriefed when you get here. I don’t know where I went wrong for that slut you call a daughter to defile my matrimonial bed the way she chose this morning.

Mrs Brown: Bismark what are you saying?

Captain Brown: I said navigate yourself to this house right this moment or else you will come and meet the corpse of the harlot you call your daughter. (cuts the call and throws the phone on the bed)

Mrs Brown: (rushes to her secretary) When the accountant comes in, tell him to drop the audited end-of-year budget on my desk for me to go through and append my signature on it. I have to attend to a family emergency right now. (rushes to the elevator as she pushes a client to the floor)

Secretary: (runs to help the client from the floor) So sorry about that, sir, I hope you are not injured.

Client: And who is that crazy lady who nearly made me dislocate my waist?

Secretary: (helps the client to his feet) Sorry about that once again. Unfortunately, the one you booked an appointment to meet this morning is that “crazy lady”.

Client: You mean that rude and crazy lady who couldn’t stop and say sorry to me for pushing me to the ground is Miss Pearl Brown?

Secretary: Actually, it’s Mrs Pearl Brown and she had to attend to some serious pressing family issues. Fortunately for you, she signed your contract letter this morning so please let’s go to my desk so I get you your most awaited contract letter.

Client: Well for this great news, I will assume and pretend that nothing happened between myself and Mrs Brown this morning. Please after you.

Secretary: Thank you for your understanding. I am of the view that we will enjoy working with your firm looking at how understanding you are.

Client: My work will speak volumes about me after some time working with your company. You can check on our Facebook page and see the customer satisfaction we give to our clients and the feedbacks we get on a daily basis.

 

Behind the Brown’s Residence:

Mrs Jones: Hey who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing there?

Glenn: Mind your damn business, old lady.

Mrs Jones: You black boys don’t have respect for the elderly, huh? One more insolent word from you and I will call the cops on your black ass.

Glenn: One more word from you and I will beat that racist crap out of your head. You better run back into your house and stop looking down at my middle belt area, you pimp.

Mrs Jones: Oh my goodness, did you just call a 70-year-old woman a pimp? I can see you have a loud mouth but by the time I get you arrested and thrown into jail, you will have respect for people. You burglars of today have loud-smelling mouths but when you are caught, you pretend as if you can’t talk.

Glenn: Try that nonsense with me and I will make life so unbearable for you. I swear I will hunt you till you kick the bucket and even in your death, you will still see me chasing after your loud gossip soul.

Mrs Jones: Wait for me so I get my phone. I need to alert Pearl also of this burglar who is half-naked at her backdoor.

Glenn: (talks to himself as he checks the time on his phone) Let me get myself out of here before I land myself in serious trouble. This was a damn freaking bad idea for me to come over to this place. I pray that stupid military man does not bring his daughter to the school to fish me out. I can’t also run back to the house, I think going to the school is the best option I have now. I can use Roy and Cooper as my alby when the need arises for me to defend myself. Fiona this is the time I need to test your loyalty, if you snitch on me, it will be your last but if you shield me, I will stick with you for a very long time.

 

To be continued…………………………………………………………………………………………………#Yeb3toaso