Ingratitude is sobering…
AARON ANSAH-AGYEMAN
THE NARRATOR’S VERSES
INGRATITUDE
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VERSE I
I knew a necessary Howar once…heheheeehe!
Oh, hello there!
Sunday again, and by the unmerited Grace of Our Lord Jesus Christ we are all here again! Hope you went to church!
I went to church. In fact, I preached today, ahuh! My topic was on ingratitude, yes. I believe na proper message dat o, yes, yes, yes.
Nowadays the world is filled with ingratitude! Like former president Jerry Rawlings will say…aboa bi beka wo a, na ofra wo ntoma…heheheeehee!
I like the way that man always forms his own things to represent his own things o!
That Akan proverb literally meant ‘the insect that will sting you is in your cloth’ but he translated it to mean ‘the insect that will sting you is wearing your cloth’ hahahaha ajeeeei!
But seriously, it all means the same, abi? Those closest to you betray you the most…yes, and that is one of the saddest aspects of life!
Abakade!
Where was I mpo?
Aha, yes, I remember…na I was telling you about the necessary howar I knew!
VERSE 2
You don’t know who a ‘howar’ is? Oh, when we were in school, a long time ago, a ‘howar’ was a whore…or, bluntly, a prostitute!
Kikiiiikiiii!
So necessary howar? Yes, it means necessary whore, necessary prostitute!
I can see your face now, hehehee, all squeezed up with disgust, eh? You’re thinking like, no matter what, prostitution shouldn’t be an option!
Ahaaaa! See your face like kakaamotobi…hohayyhayy!
Anyway, anyway, anyway, I also used to think like that, you know, that is bad for a woman to sell her body! It wasn’t worth it, not for any reason!
So, how did she become a necessary howar?
Ok, I’ll tell you, and then we’ll all decide for ourselves!
My name is Adams Abdallah…like you know dadaada, or should know by now.
I’m The Narrator, and since today is a Sunday, let me drop some very short verses!
Are you ready?
Hahahahaa, reminds me of my grandmother who, because most of her teeth were gone, wanted to ask: are you ready, but it always came out like “hey yooo heredey?”
Hayhayhayhay….adweeeeaaaa!
VERSE 3
Her name was Yaa Baby, and she was one of the most beautiful women in the world!
Na woman body be dis…heeeeerh, sosket!
She was naturally dark, diamond black, with black skin that glittered like diamonds! Her curves were as if King Solomon, the greatest womanizer, had formed her himself….sokode!
Breasts like honey, hips like waves, legs like borborbor music, buttocks like Awukugua cold weather…sweet like mpoto-mpoto!
Come see face, like angel! Come see eyes, like the soul of heaven!
Everybody knew that Yaa Baby had a bright future just because of her looks!
But alas, that future suffered – really suffered – when Yaa Baby was just ten years old. Her father, who was a revered carpenter in the village – the best carpenter, actually – died after a short illness.
It was now up to Yaa’s mother, who was a smoked fish seller, to take care of the three children. Yaa had a younger brother, Yoofi, and a little sister, Adobea.
Sosket, story na set bi dat…hehehehee!
VERSE 4
Yaa Baby was sixteen when her mother became fatally ill!
Eeeei, devil is a liar! Trouble come land like ayigbe akpeteshie!
You see, her mother’s condition deteriorated so rapidly that she was rushed to the next town and admitted. Still, after a week, wahala, and so she had to be moved to the big city hospital.
Yaa Baby’s rich uncle bore the initial costs of the treatment, but once in the big hospital it was revealed that her mother needed medicine that would cost Ghc 500 every week!
500 what? Ebeeeeei!
That was when the uncle called Yaa Baby, who was eighteen years old then, and told her that it would be better to let her mother die, so that the money could be saved for the children. He was convinced that the sick woman would never get well…and all that money would be wasted!
Heeeeeeey! Na Yaa Baby’s mother they have declared dead like that?
Well, she would not allow that to happen!
Inside a bus she got, straight to the capital city to hustle!
Kayayo, she did! Sweeper of stores, she did! Washer of clothes, she did! Pounder of fufu at bars, she did! Street sweeper, she did!
But at the end of the month, she didn’t have the Ghc 2,000 required oh! Oh, oh, poor girl!
VERSE 5
But you remember sey I yob you sey that chick get body roff? Ahaaaa! She be beautiful alokoto, and when she walked her body sang rhythms like borbor-jiggy-borbor-jiggy!
So one day she was pounding fufu at a bar, and some pot-bellied roff man bi was standing there removing meat pieces from his teeth with a toothpick. And he was looking at the way Yaa Baby’s buttocks was rokotowin like happy New Year, and it entered his head like ojigbi-jigbi!
He called the proprietor of the chop bar, who also took Yaa Baby to one side and whispered to her!
Her mother was dying, her siblings were hungry, life was hard for her…
The man promised to give her Ghc 500 for a night with her…oh, poor Yaa Baby!
At least her mother’s one week bill would be sorted….
Ahaaaaa!
Na der the tin come start oooo, my people!
Na der the wahala come land!
That was when she became a necessary howar o!
Another rich man who had taken his wife to the market saw Yaa Baby one afternoon, when she was carrying the man’s wife’s shopping to the car!
VERSE 6
As Yaa Baby bent to put the shopping in the boot, the man saw the back of her glittering waist o, the curve of her super fantabulously jiggy ikebe o, and there his whole body shook like grade one earthquake on the Richter Scale…gbigbigbigbigbi, and saliva come drop from his mouth…ko!
He quickly gave his complimentary card to Yaa Baby o…and there nooor Yaa Baby’s mother’s medical bills and her siblings’ feeding costs were settled for another two weeks!
And that was when the young girl came to realize that the fastest and only way to help her family was…
Necessary howar!
Oh, Yaweh!
What a world we live in!
Eventually Yaa Baby’s mother died, but she knew she had done her best o!
Now she had become a mother to her two siblings, Yoofi and Adobea!
Necessary howar continua o!
VERSE 7
Hmmm, I sad sef!
So whilst her brother and sister continued to eat and go to school happily, helped by their senior sister, na Yaa Baby’s buttocks and atomankolo hole dey suffer o!
Abi you know men have different shapes, sizes, and curves of sumanguru tools o! Yaa Baby come see all the various weapons of drilling!
Hmmm!
Abi you know you can’t do howar and remain intact?
Aha!
Yaa Baby come gather bad reputation o! She was one expensive howar! Only the rich playboys, chiefs, celebrities could afford her o!
But, sadly, the money she got didn’t go to her only o! Her siblings’ education and welfare took the chunk of her money! She sacrificed her glorious beauty so that her siblings would have good life.
VERSE 8
That was her curse!
She brought Yoofi and Adobea from the village to her rented house in Accra. She took care of all of them! Both of them went to the university, and she protected them fiercely!
But, body no be iron o!
You can’t be a howar for that long and remain the same o!
By the time Yoofi and Adobea became successful young people, age and too much slamming banging of the hole of electricity had taken a toll on the once vivacious Yaa Baby!
Yoofi became a great entrepreneur o, and Adobea became a banker!
Yaa Baby saw that her sacrifice had paid off o, and so she stopped her nefarious activity…but she had already earned a bad reputation!
Everyone knew her as the whore, the filthy prostitute…but they didn’t know her story, or the fact that she was a necessary howar!
Aha!
Hmmm.
More dey la!
Fast forward to a time that Yaa Baby became seriously sick o!
Oh! Na wetin happen?
Terrible disease o!
See you, oh see your evil mind…I talk you sey ibe AIDS? Aaaaah, why you people get evil mind like dat? I talk sey terrible disease noooor bam, your bad mind go dey HIV-AIDS top! Oh, shamina!
Hayhayhayhay…laughing in Korean like my friend Beatrice Maame Afua.
VERSE 9
No, her disease was bleeding!
She was bleeding a lot from the tumanklu hole, even when it was not her monthly flow…too much drilling from various battering rams, I guess!
Hmmm.
Ayooo!
Anyway, Yoofi was now a rich young man who had political ambitions. He was contesting for elections, and he knew that in elections everything dirty about him would come to the fore!
That was when he thought that it would be bad for people to know that his sister was a prostitute! At that time, he was staying with Yaa Baby in the house he had built.
He called his sister, Adobea, and Yaa Baby, and told them this. So it was decided that Yaa Baby would go and stay with Adobea because her own brother was ashamed to be associated with her!
Eeeeiiii!
You see what ewiase we live in?
Yaa Baby did not say anything…she just wept silently.
Ayooo….hm.
Three months with Adobea, and she also had a problem!
A new pastor in her church wanted to marry her. This young pastor had heard that Adobea’s older sister was once a notorious prostitute, and so he advised his bride-to-be to send Yaa Baby back to the village to stop the scandal.
Adobea and Yoofi met Yaa Baby and told her that her presence was causing troubles for Adobea and her fiancé, and so they would send her to the village but would visit her regularly and bring her money!
Eeeei, Awurade Nyankopon…
VERSE 10
Her necessary howar status had now made her a spectacle, an object of scorn for her own siblings whose welfare had forced her to live a life of strife, a life of shame, and reduced herself to the level of a prostitute!
Again, Yaa Baby didn’t say a thing! She just nodded her agreement, and wept bitterly when she was alone!
And so, otilor, she was bundled off to the village with her illness o!
Ayooo!
Adobea married her young pastor, but they didn’t invite Yaa Baby to the wedding because…ahaaaa, this time your evil mind got it righ paaa…heheheheee!
Yes, because they were ashamed of their sister, the retired prostitute!
Elections came…and Yoofi won the seat!
Again, there were parties and thanksgiving services, and again Yaa Baby was not invited…because she was a necessary howar!
Four years on, and none of them visited Yaa Baby in the village, or went to find out if her illness had improved o!
To them, the sister who had sacrificed her future, her body, her happiness, her strength, her youth and her last breath to ensure their future, was now an object of shame!
Ayoooo!
That is how the world is….
Heheheeee!
Like His Excellency John Jerry or Jerry John Rawlings will say…
Aboa bi beka wo a….the animal that will sting you is wearing your cloth….hahahhaaa!
VERSE 11
Booom!
Four years, and Yoofi lost his parliamentary seat!
Booom!
Four years after marriage and Adobea still didn’t have a child!
A year on, and Yoofi’s businesses were collapsing o, and poverty was looming!
Prayers, fasting, tongues – hola buku shaba tinga tutttuuula yo mama mama baaa – could not solve the problems o!
Adobea needed a child badly!
Yoofi needed more capital…everything was basaaaa!
Eeeeiii, God, what was happening?
Ayoooo!
They went to see the Overseer of the church where Adobea’s husband was a junior pastor in one of the branches. Yoofi went with them.
The Overseer declared a one month fasting and praying schedule to seek the face of the Lord!
After the one month, they went to see the Overseer.
He had just one word for them…
Ingratitude!
“The Lord revealed a sad woman to me!” the Overseer said softly. “A woman, I don’t know who she is, but both of you know her, Yoofi and Adobea! She did great things for you! She sacrificed her life for you! Yoofi, Adobea and your husband, Ebo…you have done a great injustice to this woman! You have shown her great ingratitude! This is what the Lord says…unless you go and make your peace with her, and make right what you have made wrong, Adobea will never conceive, and Yoofi will never know happiness again!”
And there, right there, was when Adobea and Yoofi began to weep inconsolably!
Right there, did Ebo, who was a young pastor, Adobe’s husband, began to weep sadly…
Yes, they all remembered the necessary howar then!
A sister who had sacrificed for them, and whom they had abandoned in the village for years, and never bothered to visit or send money to!
Ayooo!
So, after the pastor’s words, they decided finally to go and see Yaa Baby and ask her for forgiveness! Yoofi had seen the ways of his folly, and had decided to bring Yaa Baby back to the city to live with him!
Zoooooom!
Off to the village they went…
Hahahaaahaaa!
Not to Etwe Nyim Nyansa village o!
Hohohohohooooo!!
Not to Kote ye Aboa village o!
Hahahaaaa!
Not to Hwea ye Mobor village…
Kaayykaaaahoooo!!
VERSE 12
But, seriously, now that I remember it, why in the name of Hades did the elders of these three villages decide to name their villages with such fractious and vexatious phrases?
Do you know what kills me?
The name of the last town…Hwea ye Mobor…heheheee!
Meaning ‘the balls are pitiful’ or ‘the balls should be pitied’ or we ‘should have compassion for the balls.’
Why?
Is it because when the kote pole is inside the hole, the balls are left all alone outside to slap the underside of the buttocks of the woman…pla pla pla pla?
So Hwea ye mobor?
Kikkkiiikkkiiii….hahahaahahaaa!
I can’t stop laughing o!
Oh, Yesu!
Anyway, anyway, anyway!
Back to the village they went, and luckily the Overseer of the church himself went with them after he heard of how horrendously bad they had treated their sister.
So they came to Obomofodensua village.
The family elders met them happily and gave them hearing.
After that the Head of the Clan smiled happily.
VERSE 13
“I am glad you’ve come home today, Adobea and Yoofi,” he said gently. “Actually, when your sister came back, there was a new church here, and so she joined. She became a Christian and was baptised, and the pastor asked her to stay in the Mission House of the church to be a part of his family. She was sick, you know, but she got cured by God. Anyway, she’s in the Mission House, so we can all go there.”
Booom!
The delegation then got up and walked the short distance to the Manse of the church.
The elderly pastor and his wife met them.
There were framed pictures of the two of them with Yaa Baby on the walls of the living-room, and Yaa Baby, for once, looked very happy in all of them.
The pastor heard them, and he nodded his head.
“I’m glad to meet you, Yoofi and Adobea,” he said calmly. “Yaa Baby was in a very bad state when she came back to the village, and wanted to kill herself, but we were able to evangelize to her, and she eventually gave her life to Christ, and was baptized. She is at the back, in the yard, come, let me take you to her!”
And so the Overseer, Pastor Ebo, Adobea, Yoofi and the clan elders followed the elderly pastor and his wife to the back of the house where there was a very beautiful yard, looking serene like a garden, and there was Yaa Baby…
She was lying under a beautiful grave adorned with flowers…
At long last, her legs had closed, and her hole of drilling apordami-shabba was at peace.
“She’s dead?” Yoofi screamed, and Adobea collapsed to her knees, wailing inconsolably.
VERSE 14
“Yes,” the elder of the clan said. “With her last breath she told us not to inform any of you if she died. She didn’t want her death to be a disgrace to any of you. She wished you only the best. And she was scared her death would make reporters know she was your sister, Yoofi. She didn’t want Adobea’s church members to come to her funeral and learn Adobe’s sister had been a prostitute. In the end, she still cared about you, and showed you love, even in your ingratitude! You want to make peace with her, you wicked people? There she lies, make your peace to her!”
And so, Yoofi and Adobea knew real pain as they knelt by the grave of their sister, and their hearts were broken as they were crushed under the load of their utter ingratitude to a woman who had loved them to the end!
And so that ends my verses for this Sunday.
Don’t ask me how it ended…
I don’t know, and frankly I don’t care.
The moral of these verses?
Don’t wait until someone is dead before going to show your gratitude! Right now, if a parent, a friend, someone, had been good to you…and you’re showing ingratitude…call them now, right now, and make it right!
You just don’t know the heavy price you might pay someday for the ingratitude you’re showing this day…
Okay, let me go and eat my wife….oh, no, hohohaaay….eat my wife’s food!
See your evil mind…hahahaaa.
I mean food, real food…mpoto-mpoto!
Real Akuapim mpoto-mpoto…
Byebyeya…till another Sunday!
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